Notations On Patients’ Chart

I received a forward from my brother's son. Enjoy. 1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was hot in bed last night. 2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3) On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared. !! 4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed. 5) The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993. 6) Discharge status: Alive but without my permission. 7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful. 8) The patient refused autopsy. 9) The patient has no previous history of suicides. 10) Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 11) Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past 3 days. 12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. 13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant. 14) Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might want to work her up.