Relationships, How Far? 

There are volumes and volumes written on relationships these days.

Many might think I am old fashioned, might be true, but we have taken to relationships naturally.

It was not deliberate.

We had, at least I have, two levels.

One is family, friends and those who are close, the last mentioned need not be relatives, in fact it is not..

The others are, well, just others.

With the first category,  I do not think before I interact and express myself spontaneously without thinking or second guessing what the reaction or reply would be.

No doubt, this leads to arguments especially in the family.

But I do not carry it forward for the next second and I resume my talk after a heated exchange normally.

In my opinion, you let your hair down and be natural with whom you love.

There is no necessity of being deliberate or planning while interacting with them.

That is what family is all about.

Over thinking about relationships and communication skills, in my opinion, stunts the warmth of the relationship, though the words might be not too soft.

The deliberation involved in communication between family members and close friends spoils the Bond and people become strangers.

In my view that is not relationship.

We are natural and outspoken with whom we love and the love is felt, not known.

That’s it.

Yet how far relationship can go?

When you die,

Relatives upto to your Home,

Your wife is upto to the end of the street where you live,

(Indian custom),

Your son(who is expected to perform your last Rites), is upto the Crematorium, Grave.

But the effects, results of your actions, Karma will be with you far beyond.

This was beautifully expressed in a Tamil film song penned by the great poet Kannadasan.

‘வீடு வரை உறவு,

வீதி வரை மனைவி,

காடு வரை பிள்ளை,

கடைசி வரை யாரோ,

I have provided the meaning, after the line

‘ when you die’

in the beginning of this article.

Kannadasan ends the line as ‘who shall be till the Last’

This thought is from Pattinathar a Yogi from Tamil Nadu who composed quite a few of the most profound Poems on Life, Shiva and Bhakti.

I am providing the lunes from Pattinathar below.

Pattinathar concludes as Results of actions, benevolent and not benevolent, Paap and Punya shall follow you till the last.
அந்தமும் வாழ்வும் அகத்து மட்டேவிழி அம்பொழுக மெத்திய மாதரும் வீதி மட்டே

விம்மி விம்மி இரு கை தலை மேல் வைத்து அழும் மைந்தரும் சுடுகாடு மட்டே

பற்றித் தொடரும் இரு வினை புண்ணியம் பாவமுமே.
andhamum vAzhvum agathu matte

vizhi ambozhuga methiya mAdharum veedhi matte

vimmi vimmi iru kai thalai mel vaithu azhum maindharum sudukAdu matte

patrith thodarum iru vinai punniyam pAvamume

4 responses to “Relationships, How Far? ”

  1. Ram Ram!!1 My Chithappa – 70 years old expired today. I’m in fasting for sabarimala and removed mala after this demise. Now question is i shouldn’t go on Jan to sabarimala right until varushapthigam get over? And shall i go for Rishikesh (planning to stay for a week for sahasra gayathri for my son upanayanam planned next year)? Please clarify me. Chithappa has 2 sons and my father and paati, thatha, my mom also expired already.


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