Tag: Elder

  • Elders Being Killed In India

    What is more shocking is the revelation by a Field worker of an NGO  that the Elders are being killed in the Southern Districts of Tamil Nadu,India much in the manner of Infanticide where in tamil Nadu they resort to killing Female children by கள்ளிப்பால் the administering   juice of  Cactaceae.

    The Elders are killed by giving them Tender coconut Water and splashing them with very cold water , this is called ‘water splashing,தண்ணி சாத்துதல்  .

    Elders Abuse
    Elders Abuse

    The other method seems to be  by administering poison injection!

    Madurai, the Temple Town of India and Kanyakumari District have this dubious distinction with Cuddalore.

    Having had a look at the Statistics, we might look at the problem

    The problem as enumerated by the Elders.

    The problem of Solitude.

    One of the main causes for depression among the elderly is that their children do not spend much time with them even if they happen to live in with them.

    Another grouse is that children have left for abroad to pursue their careers.

    As one grows old whether it is your son or yourself your perspective and the equation of relationships undergo a subtle change.

    Children have their own official pressure, financial commitment and they have their own wife and children to cope up with.

    It is not fair to expect that the children behave and communicate with us the same way they have been with us after marriage.

    Wish those who complain on these lines might ask themselves  how they have been with their parents and if their parents were to be alive, they would be leveling the same charges against them.

    As to children going abroad, the children have a whole life head of them and now thy they have opportunities to earn more by going abroad, which we did not get at our time.

    So it is a question of one understanding what is good for the children at the economic front.

    Do not for a moment imagine that the children do not think of these problems and are selfish.

    In fact my son hesitated for even applying when an opportunity was awaiting. worrying as to how to leave me and my wife alone.

    I advised him that at most I might live for about 10 or 15 more years , he has a future to look forward o and that i had been taking care of myself and my wife before he was born!

    As to me being old I informed him that there are so many in the World without children and even if they have, for some reason or other could not live with them, all not because of abuse.

    I also told him , in the final analysis,one has come alone, lives alone and leaves alone, as a matter of fact.

    I think this seems to be a practical way of looking at the problem.

    Some parents are not interested to live abroad because they feel they would miss our society and Country.

    If you are not prepared to make any compromises at an old age, is it fair to expect youngsters to do so?

    Best is to develop an interest in something other than sentimental attachment to Family and go about doing what you love doing but were unable to during your early years.

    A gentle man stated that he has Sugar, had knee problem , he has been provided with TV,Laptop ,and all other facilities, and children respect him ‘ yet says he depressed because he has been asked by the Doctors and the family not to work!

    What does one say to him?

    Children do not respect.

    I think there is point in this.

    They tend to disrespect elders even when it is not warranted.

    They should remember that they would also become old one day.

    As to elders, do not offer advice or opinions  and interfere in the daily running of the family.

    We have been doing it for nearly 30-40 years!

    Why not leave it to other and relax?

    Related:
    A bed-ridden 108-year-old woman was allegedly raped by her son’s friend at home in Jabalpur town when the rest of her family was out shopping on December 4. The crime was disclosed to HT on Friday by the president of the Jabalpur unit of the Mahila Congress after she took up the matter with Madhya Pradesh director general of police SK Rout in Bhopal.

    The accused, Gopi Ahirwar, 45, a waiter in a hotel, lives in the same locality of Sita Pahad in Jabalpur cantonment and was a regular visitor to the victim’s home.

    The victim, whose son is a daily wager, lives in the servant’s quarter of an army officer’s house. The victim’s granddaughter said, “As usual, we left the door open before leaving for the market that day as neighbours and relatives often visit our house to see my grandmother.”

    http://silverinnings.blogspot.in/2010/12/108-year-old-raped-by-neighbour-and.html

     

  • Elder Abuse Mistreatment Statistics Story

    Elder Abuse is something which is under reported around the World in general and in India in particular.

    ‘Ageing in the Twenty First Century:A Celebration and A challenge’ a Study by The UN reports.

     

    Elder Abuse Statistics
    Elder Abuse Statistics

     

    ”                                                                                 9 out of Ten in the world are over 60

     

    43% of the people surveyed reported that they fear a personal violence,

     

    67% Face Age Discrimination

     

    What are the Abuses?

    Verbal Abuse.

    Being subjected to indifference.

    Loss of Respect.

    Made to work.

    Deprivation of possessions.

    Discrimination in serving Food.

    These are apart from physical violence.

    The last one , sadly, is inflicted by sons!

    The same elders who taught you to speak  become people ‘ who do not now what to Talk’

    The ones who taught you to behave ‘do not know how to behave’

    The same parents who forced you to read/study are now ‘people who ‘know nothing’

    The Elderly have two choices.

    Stay with their children.

    Stay separately.

    In the former, they are subjected to all the harassment listed above.

    In the later case, they are dubbed as being selfish and not caring enough to take of the Family especially the Grand children!

    In the family, Elders do not know how to take care of the Grand children-the same idiots who brought you up.

    If one offers advice one is advised none too politely ‘to shut up’

    If remained aloof termed as ‘being irresponsible!’

    If this is the case in India, Japan , the  Country which has a Culture of respecting the Elders has decayed to such an extent that a

    Minister  publicly says ‘Hurry and die quickly!’

    India, the cradle of Family solidity and Values has come down very badly in its treatment of elders.

    Home was not a house where people make money, sleep and procreate.

    It was a place of harmony,human bonding,emotional cushioning..

    Elders have limited option in India.

    With all the abuses suffered, they choose to remain in children s’ Homes  for, they love their children,Grand children aand they do not want the ignominy of the famiy lbeing seen as the one which has lost its values.

    What can one say to children?

    The Seed will also beget seeds to beget Trees.

    Some facts from two studies.

     

    “Indian sons, and their wives, aren’t treating their aged parents well. A study on abuse of India’s elderly, conducted across 20 cities and involving over 5,500 older people, has found that almost 1 in 3 (32%) have faced abuse. The son has been found to be the primary abuser in 56% of cases, followed by the daughter-in-law in 23% cases.

     

    more than 50% of those abused had faced it for more than five years. More than half (55%) of those who were abused did not report it to anyone. Around 80% of them did not report the matter to uphold family honour.

    Delhi actually witnessed an exponential increase in abuse of the elderly. In 2011, Delhi’s abuse of the elderly rate stood at 12%. In comparison, 29.82% elderly people in Delhi said they faced abuse in 2012.

    The study, conducted by Help Age India, found that abuse was highest in Madhya Pradesh (77.12%) while people in Rajasthan (1.67%) were most well behaved with the elderly in their family. Nearly 30% or 1 in 3 elderly persons reported abuse in Maharashtra while the abuse rate was just above 1 in 4 (27.56%) in Tamil Nadu. It was 60% in Assam, 52% in UP, 43% in Gujarat, 42.86% in Andhra Pradesh and 40.93% in West Bengal.

    The study also brought out some shameful figures for Delhi. While nearly 30% of Delhi’s senior citizens had faced abuse, the primary perpetrator of abuse was the son in 60% cases, followed by the daughter-in-law in 24% cases. In Delhi, 76% of those abused did not report it, while of those who felt abused, 69% had felt disrespected with 35% facing it daily.

    Around 86% of elderly felt that the most effective measure to control elder abuse was through sensitizing children and strengthening inter-generation bonding and 14% felt increased economic Independence was the solution.

    The study said that in India, the family has been the mainstay of social support. “Even in this age and time, 58% of older persons in India are living with the family. The findings of this report also affirm confidence in the ability of the family to care for its older members,” the report said.

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-09-29/india/34163184_1_elder-abuse-abuse-rate-older-persons

     

     

    Discussions with male groups indicated that the middle income group listed
    “economic” problems on priority. The second male group from the upper
    middle class prioritised “mental health problems” focusing more on lack of
    work, lack of facilities for utilisation of leisure time and a general feeling of
    loneliness “talking to walls”. The problem here did not seem to be lack of
    money but lack of time by the “others” for the older persons
    Second to economic problem came ”lack of emotional support” from family
    members and both the groups felt that they felt a need to talk to their family
    who did not seem to have time for them The Words were many – ranging from
    “neglect” from family, “experience of loneliness in everything”, “a sense of
    insecurity” and feeling of “burden”, and “Old Age itself was a disease”
    A glaring problem faced by the males group was older couple being asked to
    live separately when they had more than one child i.e. the older woman to
    stay with one child and the man to stay with another – according to the
    convenience of their support in whatever housework /outside work they could
    contribute to
    Health problems however took a back seat coming in at the third position and
    linked with lack of mobility and economic problems
    Lack of accommodation was also a “problem” identified by the older persons
    who had houses of their own and were not staying in apartments, where there
    is only a specified area.

    http://www.who.int/ageing/projects/elder_abuse/alc_ea_ind.pdf