Parenting- Provision of Hobbies and Special Courses for Children-Useless.

I was born in a place which is neither a town nor a village.

My Father was a school teacher and obviously struggled to make both the ends meet.

In fact, I had to struggle for my education.

Neither I had an opportunity for Hobbies nor for special courses as we find them now.

I am sixty now and I do not have any regrets about what I am supposed to have missed.

I am just a B.A.,which I completed under extreme economic conditions.

I have Retired as General Manager ,after having served in Senior positions in top companies.

My back ground did not come in the way,nor was I found wanting in leadership qualities.

Even today I am most grateful(if that’s the word to say to a father) for whatever he had done for me and I miss him.

I came across the word ‘Hobby’ when I was asked to write an Essay on ‘Hobbies’ in Standard 1oth(equivalent to +2)!

Now we find parents spending too much  money and time on Hobbies , Leadership skills etc. for their children.

I am of the opinion that this is a waste .

Parents believe and spend enormous sums in getting their children admitted to the so-called prestigious schools.

But,look at the Public Examination toppers;they come , not from these fancy schools , but from small towns, from Government schools or a very small school in a village and their parents are mostly people who can not really find two meals a day.

Take the example of the ex-President of India,Dr.Abdul Kalam; he does not come from an urban center or from a fancy school.

One does not  become a Leader by attending Courses nor does one excel in Fine Arts by attending Classes  on Fine Arts.

Spending on fancy Hobbies and courses may ease the Conscience of parents who do not spend time with Children.

To the Child, it is a burden and instead of preparing them for better things in Life it makes them run away from these as taxing.

My impressions on this borne out by recent Studies on this subject.

Finally, we do these things for our children to end up with them,once they are grown up,asking  ‘what is it you have done for me?’ 

Music lessons, gymnastics, horseback riding, tutoring, summer-long residential camps, sports teams — the list goes on and on. Often, so do the costs.

And even if the money is not there, some parents find a way. I know people who have borrowed from family, used home equity accounts and run up their credit cards to pay for all the stuff they believe their children just cannot miss.

Somehow, not offering our children every possible opportunity “feels like bad parenting,” said Wendy Mogel, a clinical psychologist and author of “The Blessing of a B Minus,” (Scribner, 2010).

But in an effort to give their children everything, some parents end up not just depleting financial resources, but also their own emotional energy.

“A lot of parents are exhausted by their own overparenting,” said Bryan Caplan , an economics professor at George Mason University. “They make so many sacrifices and are so stressed out by driving around so much that they explode at kids for changing the radio station.”

But isn’t it worth it for the ultimate good of our children? Not necessarily. Some of the most interesting insights into this question come not from psychologists, but economists.

“It’s easy to take a look at the more successful kids and assume that all the activities are why they are more successful,” Professor Caplan said. But research doesn’t bear that out.

http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2011-08-14/us/29886290_1_parents-end-bad-parenting-kids

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