Son is considered to prevent parents from entering a horrible type of Hell, ‘Puth’: hence son is called as ‘Puthra’ in Sanskrit.
What do the Puranas say about the duties of the son?
For every child, devotion to parents is the primary Duty.
So much so ,the Upanishad says, Mathru Devo Bhava,Pitru Devo Bhava’,Devote yourself to Mother ,Father.
This, during the parents’ lifetime.
Last and ensuing rites after death is to be performed by the son, and by the father for the son.
These Karmas are to be performed with the Sacred Thread worn on the Left shoulder(Pracheena Veedhi)
The Last rites are to be performed only by the eldest son That is the rites performed immediately after death.
But after the Thirteenth day all the Rites, including Srardha is to be performed by all the sons.
There is a view that if the elder son performs the Srardha, other sons need not perform.
If all the brothers stay in one house and perform the Srardha the eldest can do and the others can be by his side.
If they stay separately then every one has to perform separately.
Other than the sons of the wife married in the Vedic way, sons of the deceased may perform the last rites, if
The son was born to a Man who married without paying the parent’s of the girl ,
of a Concubine.
On death, all the relatives must bathe the dead body ,dress it up with only Dhoti,or Saree apply Vibhuthi,Thiruman or Kumkum and adorn with Garland.
No ornaments, even if it is Rudraksha has to be removed and the body’s head should face the South.
All the relatives must take part in this.
Daughter of the deceased must bathe the body and wash the place where the body was kept initially and keep the washed body there.
As soon as one is dead, a smoking fire is to be kept outside the House.
None should eat till the body is set afire.
After the Pretha(Body)Karmas are done with and the body burnt in the Ghat, people should enter the house after washing their feet and take bath with their clothes.
Should sleep on the floor till the twelfth day.
Till the thirteenth day food can be taken only once in the morning and Pinda, a Rice ball, is to be placed for the dead.
The Karmas are to be performed at Home.
A small hole, Kuzhis, is to be made , just outside the house,within the compound, and covered.
The Kuzhi Tharpana is to be performed by the Paternal side relatives till the tenth day.
Should take bath outside the village or town, offer Tharpana and donate Dhoti,Angavastra or Saree and Blouse bit on the First,Third, Seventh and ninth day of the death.
Asthi Sanjayan, the dissolving of ashes is to be done on the Fourth day.
(The Current practice is performing this Karma on the second day, Vishnu Purana says it should be done on the Fourth day)
After twelfth day one can sleep on he bed.
But till the thirteenth day no intimate relations with husband or wife is allowed.
During this period, all the three varnas, Brahmana,Kshatriya and Vaisya should not recite Vedas, Engage in Dhaana or Dharma nor should one accept any thing from the others..
For more on this read my posts on Srardha and Srardha Samayal
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Why should we sleep on the floor on any Tarpan or Pitru tarpan ritual days and consume rice food only once in a day.
Sleeping on the floor is an austerity practice and no dosha on sleeping the floor.Rice is offered as Pinda traditionally as laid down in the Aparakarma text Vaidyanatha Deekshateeyam.
Dear Guraji,
i need some clarification about celebrating the festival as my uncle is died. can v perform the all festivals as my uncle is father’s brother. Please clarify
You can celebrate festivals thirteen days after the body was cremated/buried.
Thanks for your clarification ramanan sir
Hello sir, I’m rakesh…I need a clarification regarding an ambiguity that has arisen…my mother is in death bed and my wife is carrying and any time we are expecting birth of child…if in case my mother passes away before child birth, am I permitted to do her last rites and aparakarma???
You can and you must perform the karma as nothing takes priority over karma for Parents.
Dear Mr Ramanan,
My mother’s Uncle ( my great-uncle) passed away on 26th April 2016. She was close to him. My contact with him had been at best occasional over the past 20 years however I had a deep respect for him and I continue honor his memory. Some time back I was told that I need to perform certain Kalasarpayoga rites at Kalahasti temple. An opportunity for that has suddenly come up ( I have been unable to go so far due to lack of leave and will be unable to do so in the near future). My mother however is unwilling to go before a 41 day period (I have read a bit about this in your other posts) and is not in favor of me disregarding this rule either.
I do sincerely want to go and complete the look, but I’m confused about whether I will land up offending the people around me and of course the divine powers at these places of worship.
What shall I do? Please advise.
Mother’s great uncle is Matru side.your Mother belongs to your Father’s Gotra after her marriage to your father.So the theetu is , at best , for 13 days only.(Technically it is only for three days).So as per sastra you can perform all functions after this period.Explain this to your mother. Regds
Thank you for your prompt reply Sir.
Does this apply even if we are a matrilinear society? We are nairs from Kerala…
Yes, for Hindus the Smriti is the same. Matrilinear society is a special characteristic of Kerala which is present today.