??!!!
Story:
BLOOMINGTON, IN—A new study released Monday by sociologists at Indiana University found that women will always answer their telephones unless mind-blowing sex with a man other than the caller prevents them from doing so.
The findings were consistent across all demographic groups in a sampling of 500 females between the ages of 18 to 35, which included women who were romantically involved with the caller but had requested some time apart to clear their heads, as well as women who had dated the caller briefly but assumed it was understood by both parties that the relationship had not worked out.
“No matter who they were, or what their perceived or actual relationship with the male caller was, women who failed to pick up the phone were statistically all but certain to be deep in the throes of coital passion with one or more virile lovers at the time of the call,” researcher Patrick Berger said. “In addition, a vast majority of the female participants we observed had seemingly forgotten all about the relationship they once had with the caller, and were, in fact, completely consumed by the vaginal gratification they were currently receiving.”
“A type of gratification they would hesitate to even call ‘sex,’ since it was so much more intense and transcendent than any kind of sex they had experienced before,” Berger added.
The study revealed that 80 percent of the time, women who declined to answer their phones were, at that very moment, being sexually pleasured by a man superior to the caller in terms of looks, genital endowment, and stamina. Researchers also found that a majority of women picked up the phone, examined the caller ID, and told their male lover “It’s nobody” before continuing with sexual intercourse.
In another 15 percent of cases, female research subjects had just journeyed to a land of pure sexual delight with another man and were, at the time the phone rang, smoking a cigarette while letting their fingertips graze over the unusually thick penis that had just brought them to, on average, four orgasms. The remaining 5 percent of non-answerers consisted of women who were stimulating their own genitals, either while talking on the phone to another man, instant-messaging another man, or simply imagining another man who had sexually turned them inside out on a recent occasion.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-women-always-answer-their-phones-unless-they,18254/
Related.
Vaginal intercourse in the man-on-top missionary position can feel wonderful: the physical closeness, the emotional intimacy, and for many people, the feeling that this position is a very important part of what sex is all about.
But the missionary position can also be problematic: According to a great deal of research, only 25 percent of women are consistently orgasmic in man-on-top sex, no matter what size the penis nor how vigorous or prolonged the intercourse.
Eighty-five percent of American men say the last person they had sex with had an orgasm. And yet, only 64 percent of American women say they had an orgasm the last time they had sex. What’s going on, guys?
The “orgasm gap”—which is too big to be explained away by men whose most recent sexual encounter was with another man—is one of the findings of a huge new national sex survey, the largest since 1994, undertaken by Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion and published in a special issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine available here.
http://gawker.com/5654724/american-men-think-theyre-better-in-bed-than-they-actually-are
Leave a Reply