Tag: Parent

  • Education, Choosing A Course.

    Selecting a Course for Higher Studies is a daunting task.

    Choosing a Course.
    Choosing a Course.

    The Course one selects for Higher Studies determines the Career.

     

    It is not practical, at this point of time,to debate and stake one’s Life, by arguing about the System of Education in India being one of producing machines that aim to produce mark oriented Curriculum a against real Education which is Character building and about the teaching of Skills to face Life.

     

    Whether one likes it or not the system and society is oriented towards Money.

     

    Before one proceeds further, this fact has to be kept in Mind.

     

    In India, in general there used to be  time when parents chose the course,I would not say ‘chose’,-but enrolled in a Course available,for their children.

     

    Our generation studied what our Father has joined us in , married whom he pointed out and we, at least. I, have no regrets,

     

    Now children are better informed and have a clear idea as to what they want to do with their Career and are focused.

     

    This post is for them and parents also may have a few points for them to ponder over.

     

    Parents must realize and accept that to days children have more information(not knowledge) and it is their future .

     

    So one should limit oneself to guiding them and not try setting their Life /Career Agenda for them.

     

    It is essential for parents to get to know the latest trends nd advise children from their stand point and at the same time point out the pitfalls .

    It is not ethical and fair trying to ram down your aspiration on your child for he is what He or She is.

    At best basic values that go to make good one a good Human Beings has to be inculcated, like Honesty,Integrity, Harming none, hard work, perseverance and nerves of steel to face Life’s problems.

    Children also must remember that parents are not enemies; they are interested in your welfare and want to ensure that you do not suffer for none can share your failures or the pain associated with it and they must learn to listen to them .

    While choosing a Course, which is 10th standard in India where specialization starts,bear in mind couple of facts.

    There are always things you want to do ,pursue and like and what is good what that secures your financial security.

    Idealism to pursue what one wants to do is fine ,but to achieve that one needs financial security.

    Unfortunately, in Life these two normally do not co-exist.

    On balance it is safe to choose something which offers you financial security and affords you the luxury of doing what you want to do.

    The same principle works for Jobs as well.

    How does one choose a Course?

    First one has to find out what he /she is best equipped for and where his/ her interests lie.

    In jargon , they are called ‘Aptitudes and Attitudes’.

     

    We shall examine them in the forth coming posts.

     

    This post is about the process of selecting Courses, both in India and abroad and the ways to go about them, including Foreign/Indian Admissions, Fees, Courses, Universities,Financial assistance, Tests to undergo and paper work

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Birth Cleansing Rites Hinduism

    Birth Cleansing Rites Hinduism

    Let us look at the uncleanliness that arises out of death and Birth in detail.

    As many people from India are settled abroad, leaving their kith and kin including parents(mainly parents, in some case care of Glorified Orphan’s Home called Retirement Homes,by settling monthly Bills),  here is some information for them .

    If Soothaka, that is the Uncleanliness out of Birth in the Family or if theRrites are not performed or the period of Uncleanliness remain unobserved, there is nothing to worry.

    But if it is Asaucham ,that is because of death, days of Uncleanliness is to be observed for the period equivalent normally prescribed, from the Date of hearing the news of Death it attracts Structure in Sastras.

    This applies even when a Sraddha, annual ceremony  conducted, is due for parents.

    Uncleanliness Period for Birth.

    No period of Uncleanness is to be observed after Ten days.

    For The Child’s Mother.

    30 Days if the Child is Male and 40 Days if Female.

    After this period the Mother has to wear a new Mangalya Sutra,take a Panchakavyand start handling vessels and enter into household duties.

    Note:

    During Asaucha period,only  Snanam (Bath) and Sandhyavandhana can be performed.

    Other duties like Surya namaskaram,Aupaasanam( DailyFire Worship),Brahma Yagnam.Deva Pooja,Dhaana and Prathigraha should be performed after the 13 th Day.

    After this period,the Mother has to wear a new Mangalya Sutra,take a Panchakavyand start handling vessels and enter into house hold duties.

    Note:

    During Asaucha period,only  Snanam (Bath) ans Sandhyavandhana can be performed.

    Other duties like Surya namaskaram,Aupaasanam( DailyFire Worship),Brahma Yagnam.Deva Pooja,Dhaana and Prathigraha should be performed after the 13 th Day.

    Source.

    V.Soma Deav Sharma.

    Vaidhyanatha Dheekshideeyam’Aasaucha Kaandam.

    Soul Immortal Body Dies Why Sraddha Pinda?

    Though the body ceases to exist, the remnants of actions performed, Desired do not cease even after death.

    The thoughts remain as energy once created can not be destroyed and Thoughts and Thought processes are Energy.

    They have to be expended.

    Till such time the Subtle body remains.

    The Subtle Body is called as Sukshma…

    Gaya Srardham Pindas Tharpana Sastrigal Details

    Performance of Srardham or obeisance to ancestors and visit to Kasi/Varanasi is a most sacred duty of the Hindus. Performing the prescribed Rites for the departed as laid by ht e Sastras is an important aspect of Hinduism. Locating the Sastris or Vadhyar in both the places is an arduous task. Not that the Sastrigals…

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  • ‘Children Space’, Parental Space, Sheer Non Sense

    There has been a lot of talk on child rearing now ,which has not been discussed in the past.

     

    We have Behavioral Psychologists, Child Psychologists , Student Counselors and the list is long.

     

    So are the problems from feeding an infant to Adolescent behavior.

     

    I have come across this phrase quite often now.

    Children playing in the open, India
    Children playing in the open, India

     

    Children‘s Space”

     

    For the uninitiated  it means that the child has a world of its own and we, as Adults know nothing about and we need to train ourselves to communicate with them!

     

    This applies more to Parents.

     

    I do fail to understand.

     

    Admitting that the child has a ‘Space, our world is different , we need to ‘get down to their world’ to get to know them, how can we help them grow into the world?

     

    By going down to their level, we will be acting and guiding them from their stand point.

     

    Right?

     

    In that case am I not entering into the adult world, am I not assuming the role of an Adult at least while guiding them?

     

    How do I tell them what is Right and Wrong?

     

    Do I tell them or not?

     

    And how do I tell them?

     

    By kissing them as a child would and lisp ‘we should not do it’ and the child will follow?

     

    If I have to do it,I have to do it as a parent,.

     

    The child is an extension of Me.

     

    The Society and the highly qualified Doctors not withstanding, I know my child better and I have a better interest in their welfare.

     

    Aside…

     

    Many of the Specialists’ Children, I know,  have all the problems, including what they treat  our children for and more than  us idiots’   normal children,  have.

     

    In the process, what has happened to my Parental Space?

     

    Dealing with Physical Disease one thing, I am not qualified,but emotional and value systems, I have a better interest and motivation.

     

    Our patents knew nothing of these . nor did I do any of these.

     

    I am alright and so are my children.

     

    Before any Specialist jumps the Gun, I am Graduate in Psychology, but I have learnt that it is an evolving attempt to understand the Psyche of Man  and nothing more.

     

    Excepting in extreme disorders,the role of a Psychologist is limited to the extent of drugging and suppressing symptoms.

     

    Has Psychology defined ‘Intelligence,Personality,Personality Traits, Abnormality?’

     

    At best Psychology describes these, at worst non sense.

     

    We will not have any problem with the children, if Only,

     

    Parents know to stay together in marriage,

     

    Do not Drink,

     

    Live with elders in the family,

     

    Have regular and clean habits,

     

    Good values in Life,

     

    Do not send children to school at the age of # 3,

     

    Force them to do things which are beyond them,

     

    Send them to all Courses from Karate to Dancing,

     

    Allow them to play in the open and do not lock them up in an apartment,

     

    We watch TV and ask them not to watch…..!

     

     

     

     

     

  • A Mother’s Agony’ Over Her Son.You Are Not Alone.

    I read a moving article on blogher,by a Mother on her son..

    It was agonizing to go through the article.

    Why is it the children behave the way they do?

    Is it because they take the Parents granted?

    Or is it because they are the people who would not hit back because of Love and Affection?

    Yes Children raised themselves on their own.

    Parents did nothing.

    Parents are some thing to be ridiculed  and insulted.

    A seed also becomes a tree begetting seeds.

    The last line of the Mother was poignant.

    ‘I don’t know. But please tell me I’m not alone. And that it will be okay.’

    Rest Assured, You are not Alone.

    Read the Related Story.

    I can only quote Shakespeare.

    ‘How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is
    To have a thankless child.
    King Lear (1.4.280)

    Story:

    A Mother's Agony Over Her Son_/4092/5003530689_0a986019c6.jpg
    A Mother’s Agony Over Her Son.

    I’m going to be honest with you guys. I’m really tired of my son.

    The level of disrespect and general level of unhappiness is becoming so distressing that I’m barely functioning as his mother. I don’t want to be around him. I don’t want to do anything for him.

    I’ve given this so much thought — maybe too much. What am I doing wrong? Why is he so unhappy? Is he depressed? Do we have a real issue here?

    I don’t have the answer. He is generally a normal, happy boy. Until it comes to me or his father. The way he treats us is just…horrifying. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is ever right. Ever enough.

    Why? How did we create this person who disrespects, demands, and blames us for everything? How did he become so… spoiled?

    What do you do when all you want to do is scream, and cry, and hit, and run away?

    What do you do when it’s always just boiling. Festering.

    When the last thing you want to hear is anyone’s voice. Whether disrespecting, whining, asking, needing.

    When you can’t for the LIFE of you imagine what else they could possibly need. What you AREN’T doing?

    When the more you give them, the more they want. The more they complain. The more they tell you they hate you. What a terrible mother you are.

    Who am I raising? And what am I doing wrong. Isn’t the way he treats me a reflection on my motherhood?

    I love him so much. This is not the mother I wanted to be. I wanted to be the mother who has long talks, and listens, and encourages moving away from the norm. Using imagination, experimentation. Trial and error.

    But I’m not.

    I’m the mother who needs strict adherence to the rules. The routine. Do it now the way I want it done before my head blows off.

    I don’t know why. Because I work from here, and I need some level of understanding and order? Because I just need people to not be contradictory even for just a little while?

    http://www.blogher.com/one-where-i-spill-my-guts-about-my-sons-behavior

    Related:

    Sons Leave Dad to rot and Die.

    Two West Seattle brothers accused of literally leaving their father to rot to death now face felony elderly-abuse charges.

    King County prosecutors contend Kenneth and Keith Shaw lived rent-free in their parents’ Alki neighborhood home while their 86-year-old father wasted away, neglected. Police contend the pair of 50-somethings refused to move their parents into a nursing home because they wanted to inherit their parents’ ample savings.

    Conditions were so bad when paramedics arrived in November 2010 that a trail of blood followed Kyle Shaw Jr. as the first responders carried him from the home, Seattle Police Det. Suzanne Moore told the court.

     http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Sons-accused-after-elderly-West-Seattle-man-rots-4042130.php#ixzz2CNEWvPKQ

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