Tag Parent

Choices And Life

I studied in a premier college with dual scholarship as I could not afford Higher studies.

I was very active in the Students' Union and was responsible for three strikes in that premier Institution.

The causes were just, the authorities knew it, though could not admit it openly.

I finished my degree as the first rank holder in the University in major(Philosophy,Psychology and Sociology), only first class in The University in the language(Tamil),and one of the seven second class students who scored in English.

Though the college authorities knew I had created problem, the Chief of the group called me and asked me to continue MA , financial help for boarding, lodging and fees will be taken care of by them, I could not, because my family circumstances warranted that I take up a job.

Hence I had to refuse the offer despite their assurance that they will provide me with a job in the college as a Lecturer(Mind you the salary was good for the post in those days) because I could not wait for two more years to earn.

I took up a job, went out of the city, fell in love for over three years with my friend's( who was around 48 years) daughter.

As much I wanted to marry her, I did not ask her father.

in my view to marry one;s friend's daughter was a betrayal of Trust!

I got married and me my friend with my wife.

His daughter and he extended hospitality.

As we were returning Home, my wife told me that she saw Love in my friend's daughter's eyes and asked me what the matter was.

I explained her and she admonished me for not having married her and felt sorry for me too!

My wife, whom I loved and love still died in child birth.

I went off my mind for a couple of months, got remarried , begotten grand children.

i had choices,

to opt for higher study and a sinecure job.

to marry the one whom I loved,

to remain unmarried after my beloved wife's death,

I did not choose any of these options.

On hind sight I wish I could have taken them.

The cost?

Set Goals Die

There is this fad of setting goals for one's Life.

This has gone to such an extent hat parents of children , even about 4, start planning the Career of their wards, by constantly talking in front of the child, in some cases asking the child to repeat what the parents say about the child's future and goals.

The Child also repeats without knowing the meaning of what it says.

This gets implanted in the mind of the child.

This becomes an obsession in the later years and the child grows into an adult without having an option to weigh the options available.

Unfortunately the parents may change the goal they set for their child.

This will not be accepted by the child , it rebels at the Adolescent Age and continues in Adulthood.

As Adults they are forced .especially by the Society to set goals for themselves indirectly.

But it is imposed on them by the Corporate, by dangling Economic benefits Salary, perks.

A corporate has its Agenda, Namely Profit, nothing more.

All this talk of attitudes, behavioral suggestions ,Career optimization.. have a single goal, that of making money for the company.

Lured by the tempting offers, children and parents plan their lives accordingly.

Unfortunately Life is not merely about earning Money.

It has more to it.

Life is multifaceted.

One has to accept things in Life as they come.

One can not wait for one event to end to begin another as is said' One can never take a Bath in the Ocean after the waves cease"

Choosing a Career is important, so is marriage,

Sacrificing one for another is a step but one must have the mental maturity to adjust.

Alternately one must know how to balance both the options.

I am coming across stories where youngsters committing suicides for failing in examinations,Failure in Love Life,unable to adjust to marital issues .