In his poignant photo series, Hussey depicts old people who see reflections of their younger selves in mirrors in order to reflect the confusion that plagues Alzheimer’s patients on a daily basis.
These award-winning pictures poetically illustrate the receding memories of people who suffer from dementia, who often start losing their newer memories first and are left with older ones of their youth.”
Some Elders look into their past.
Peeping Into The Past.
Peep Into The Past.Peep Into The Past.Peep Into The Past.Peep Into The Past.
1.Those who were sent to Old Age Homes by the Wealthy sons and Daughters.
2.Those who had no body to turn to but economically independent.
3.Those who were economically downtrodden.
In the first category thee were two sub groups, one where the children were abroad and had no intention of returning to India and another where the children are in India and in some cases in the same city where the Elderly have been sent to.
I will be covering the issue in a couple of posts with Statistics.
What struck me first are the Statistics
.* Statistics in this Post are from HelpAge India.
I am also posting Statistics from Other sources.
Elder Abuse
Contrary to popular perception, the sons were the main cause for dumping( I deliberately use the Term) and the verbal abuse of parents, and not the Daughter’s in Law!
56 % of the parents were sent to Old Age Homes because os f sons and 23 % because of Daughters’ in Law.
In the former, they are subjected to all the harassment listed above.
In the later case, they are dubbed as being selfish and not caring enough to take of the Family especially the Grand children!
In the family, Elders do not know how to take care of the Grand children-the same idiots who brought you up.
If one offers advice one is advised none too politely ‘to shut up’
If remained aloof termed as ‘being irresponsible!’
If this is the case in India, Japan , the Country which has a Culture of respecting the Elders has decayed to such an extent that a
Minister publicly says ‘Hurry and die quickly!’
India, the cradle of Family solidity and Values has come down very badly in its treatment of elders.
Home was not a house where people make money, sleep and procreate.
It was a place of harmony,human bonding,emotional cushioning..
Elders have limited option in India.
With all the abuses suffered, they choose to remain in children s’ Homes for, they love their children,Grand children aand they do not want the ignominy of the famiy lbeing seen as the one which has lost its values.
What can one say to children?
The Seed will also beget seeds to beget Trees.
Some facts from two studies.
“Indian sons, and their wives, aren’t treating their aged parents well. A study on abuse of India’s elderly, conducted across 20 cities and involving over 5,500 older people, has found that almost 1 in 3 (32%) have faced abuse. The son has been found to be the primary abuser in 56% of cases, followed by the daughter-in-law in 23% cases.
more than 50% of those abused had faced it for more than five years. More than half (55%) of those who were abused did not report it to anyone. Around 80% of them did not report the matter to uphold family honour.
Delhi actually witnessed an exponential increase in abuse of the elderly. In 2011, Delhi’s abuse of the elderly rate stood at 12%. In comparison, 29.82% elderly people in Delhi said they faced abuse in 2012.
The study, conducted by Help Age India, found that abuse was highest in Madhya Pradesh (77.12%) while people in Rajasthan (1.67%) were most well behaved with the elderly in their family. Nearly 30% or 1 in 3 elderly persons reported abuse in Maharashtra while the abuse rate was just above 1 in 4 (27.56%) in Tamil Nadu. It was 60% in Assam, 52% in UP, 43% in Gujarat, 42.86% in Andhra Pradesh and 40.93% in West Bengal.
The study also brought out some shameful figures for Delhi. While nearly 30% of Delhi’s senior citizens had faced abuse, the primary perpetrator of abuse was the son in 60% cases, followed by the daughter-in-law in 24% cases. In Delhi, 76% of those abused did not report it, while of those who felt abused, 69% had felt disrespected with 35% facing it daily.
Around 86% of elderly felt that the most effective measure to control elder abuse was through sensitizing children and strengthening inter-generation bonding and 14% felt increased economic Independence was the solution.
The study said that in India, the family has been the mainstay of social support. “Even in this age and time, 58% of older persons in India are living with the family. The findings of this report also affirm confidence in the ability of the family to care for its older members,” the report said.
Discussions with male groups indicated that the middle income group listed
“economic” problems on priority. The second male group from the upper
middle class prioritised “mental health problems” focusing more on lack of
work, lack of facilities for utilisation of leisure time and a general feeling of
loneliness “talking to walls”. The problem here did not seem to be lack of
money but lack of time by the “others” for the older persons
Second to economic problem came ”lack of emotional support” from family
members and both the groups felt that they felt a need to talk to their family
who did not seem to have time for them The Words were many – ranging from
“neglect” from family, “experience of loneliness in everything”, “a sense of
insecurity” and feeling of “burden”, and “Old Age itself was a disease”
A glaring problem faced by the males group was older couple being asked to
live separately when they had more than one child i.e. the older woman to
stay with one child and the man to stay with another – according to the
convenience of their support in whatever housework /outside work they could
contribute to
Health problems however took a back seat coming in at the third position and
linked with lack of mobility and economic problems
Lack of accommodation was also a “problem” identified by the older persons
who had houses of their own and were not staying in apartments, where there
is only a specified area.
Japan’s finance minister Taro Aso said Monda asked the elders in Japan to ‘Hurry up and die”
Japan’s finance minister Taro Aso said Monday the elderly should be allowed to “hurry up and die” instead of costing the government money for end-of-life medical care.
Aso, who also doubles as deputy prime minister, reportedly said during a meeting of the National Council on Social Security Reforms: “Heaven forbid if you are forced to live on when you want to die. You cannot sleep well when you think it’s all paid by the government.
“This won’t be solved unless you let them hurry up and die,” he said.
Look at How The Western Concepts have the changed a rich Culture’s treatment of the elderly.
Old age ideally represents a time of relaxation of social obligations, assisting with the family farm or business without carrying the main responsibility, socializing, and receiving respectful care from family and esteem from the community. In the late 1980s, high (although declining) rates of suicide among older people and the continued existence of temples where one could pray for quick death[citation needed] indicated that this ideal was not always fulfilled. Japan has a national holiday called Respect for the Aged Day, but for many people it is merely another holiday. Buses and trains carry signs above specially reserved seats to remind people to give up their seats for elderly riders. Many older Japanese continued to live full lives that included gainful employment and close relationships with adult children.
Although the standard retirement age in Japan throughout most of the postwar period was fifty-five, people aged sixty-five and over in Japan were more likely to work than in any other developed country in the 1980s. In 1987 about 36% of men and 15% of women in this age-group were in the labor force. With better pension benefits and decreased opportunities for agricultural or other self-employed work, however, labor force participation by the elderly has been decreasing since 1960. In 1986 about 90% of Japanese surveyed said that they wished to continue working after age sixty-five. They indicated both financial and health reasons for this choice. Other factors, such as a strong work ethic and the centering of men’s social ties around the workplace, may also be relevant. Employment was not always available, however, and men and women who worked after retirement usually took substantial cuts in salary and prestige. Between 1981 and 1986, the proportion of people sixty and over who reported that a public pension was their major source of income increased from 35% to 53%, while those relying most on earnings for income fell from 31 to 25% and those relying on children decreased from 16 to 9%.
In the 1980s, there was a major trend toward the elderly maintaining separate households rather than co-residing with the families of adult children. The proportion living with children decreased from 77% in 1970 to 65% in 1985, although this rate was still much higher than in other industrialized countries. The number of elderly living in Japan’s retirement or nursing homes also increased from around 75,000 in 1970 to more than 216,000 in 1987.
But still, this group was a small portion of the total elderly population. People living alone or only with spouses constituted 32% of the sixty-five-and-over group. Less than half of those responding to a government survey believed that it was the duty of the eldest son to care for parents, but 63% replied that it was natural for children to take care of their elderly parents. The motive of co-residence seems to have changed, from being the expected arrangement of an agricultural society to being an option for coping with circumstances such as illness or widowhood in apostindustrial society.
The health of the aged receives a great deal of the society’s attention. Responsibility for the care of the aged, bedridden, or senile, however, still devolves mainly on family members, usuallydaughters-in-law.
There are always things to which we should say to.
Saying ‘Yes’ to some thing is relatively easier than saying .No’ for when you say ‘Yes’ you can always say that you said ‘yes’ and that eases your conscience.
At best you can shift the blame for blind following, an error.
But saying /No’ is tougher.
When you say ,No’ . the mind has a tendency to focus on the best things that could have happened by saying ‘Yes’ instead of “no.
And saying ‘no’ often involves getting away from the established habits.
There are things that merit a ‘No’ right from the early stages.
The need to say No’ increases as you age, especially after 50.
I read an interesting article in aol.
You know by now that you deserve better. Wine, that is. Stop telling yourself that it tastes the same no matter the price, and say yes to the occasional splurge on a bottle that’s only slightly more expensive — but can instantly make you feel like A million bucks.You’ve spent your whole life thinking about your next move, so start saying yes to a little unplanned adventure from time to time. Head somewhere you’ve never been before this weekend — and don’t bring an itinerary.It’s never too late to fall in love with a new hobby or perfect a new skill, and there’s nothing like the gratifying feeling of having accomplished just that. Plus, studies show that keeping your brain active can help prevent memory loss. So say yes to learning and experimenting whenever you can!
These are things to say ‘Yes’ to.
Especially after 50.
There are things to say ‘No’ to.
Post Follows.
Most important is- say No to ‘Temptation To Offer Advice”
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