Especially those who have crossed 50, more so after 60.
Old Age quote by Einstein.
They make it a regimen to go for a Walk religiously every day,start diet restrictions,try to withdraw to themselves and pretend that they are not interested in things which they think belong to Youth.
Surprising!
Life does not happen in compartments.
It is a flow in alignment with the individual’s dispositions.
Because one turns over in age, does not mean he is to change his likes and dislikes.
You have not been able to do the things you wanted to earlier because of your career, Family commitments.
Now you are free to do what you like and enjoy doing.
And there is no pressure.
Unless,
You have the mistaken impression that decisions taken by your children , in the family, means that you are sidelined,
You feel that you have to be consulted for everything,
You have the arrogance to think you are always right’
Your decision is final.
Remember how many times have we felt, in the past,that these pressures of running the day-to-day affairs and wished others would share the burden, especially children.
And we train the children towards that end.
Then why this confusion?
Do what you like, without affecting the Family,maintain a detached attachment.
If you feel alright, no need to follow the myth imposed on the aged-be your age,do pooja regularly,go for a walk, restrict your diet….the recommendations are endless.
Gone are the days when looking after the elderly was the duty of Children.
No longer.
If you imagine this is because of economic reasons, you are mistaken.
A good percentage of these people in the Senior Citizen’s Home are the parents of children settled abroad.
Children send in money and ask the parents to take care of themselves.
I had posted the elders , taking into consideration of the changing value systems, one has to accept reality, without being morose about these issues.
The elders were here before these children were born and were taking care of themselves.
No point in mourning on this issue.
One can be self-reliant if one is confident.
What it needs is the unnecessary clinging to some one else even if it be Children.
One should be happy that they have at least the Financial security.
Imagine people with out even this and being discarded and neglected
One is required to be more updated on the information side and the minimum skill to operate modern gadgets,
If one has a basic knowledge of Computers and Internet, most of your problems are solved.
My brother’s wife, 74, is a Diabetes patient and my Brother is 82 years.
She needs Insulin injections daily and she can not nor my brother can Use a Syringe.
The Nurse who comes is not regular and my brother has to keep on hunting for a Nurse for injections.
Locating the nurses is a problem as the information from service providers is generally confusing and really not focused on the issue at hand.
This is not the only issue the elderly have.
Elders, whose children are abroad, find it extremely difficult to handle daily issues like buying things, Emergency help,Health Care,Daily Living Aids ,Services.
one wishes that there is a nodal information resource that can offer these services Online to help the Senior Citizens.
One needs to log in and have the information.service they need is at hand.
I recently come across a site that offers this service.
Help for the Seniors.
The services are under different heads.
Daily Living Aids where one can order food, Diet Food,
One has the choice of choosing the Budget range and at discounts as well.
Payment may be made through major Credit cards like VISA, and Bank Debit/Credit Cards.
If one is interested in travel arrangements, Standard service provider are available at the site, India Pilgrim tours,Yatra.com,make my trip for Local travel
For international travel one has a choice among Europe tours,Kesari,Veena world,Orbit, VRS.
One can use this site to identify new properties or choose a Senior Citizen Home
The site has Customer care services.
Customer Care : Phone: + 91 9819529534 ( 10 am – 6 pm) Skype id: Seniorshelf ( till 12 midnight IST)
Happy because the post generated a lot of discussion with members speaking out with out inhibition.
Sad because it revealed to me the malaise that is eating our Society.
Though the views of the communities need not reflect the views of all the other Communities in general, this particular community views are taken as a model for others despite their bashing this Community.
During the course of the discussions I came across views, which I will sum up as it would be unethical to post them direct here.
1.All agree that there is this problem of leaving the elderly in Old Age Homes
.2.The elderly also prefer it.
3.This, from the trend and profiles I could gleam, seems to be from NRI .( parents of NRIs and the parents themselves)
4.It is my impression that there seems to be communication disconnect between the Parents and the Children.
5.Children do want to keep them at Home.
6.Sad was a comment the children is ‘an Insurance for parents’ posted by a Parent.
7.Equally appalling was a comment that “Parents are incorrigible and make the Life of Children Hell”
I have posted my views in the group discussion.
Then there was a question of Duty of Sons (No body spoke about daughters!)
The point is that where was this problem, say 40 years ago?
Agreed that we had differences at Homes with parents with us, we never thought that ‘they were living with us’ rather’ we were living in a Home’
Tiffs are always sorted out,
Then why so now?
1.People have gone after monetary values alone.
Parents want their sons to go abroad , especially the US for Higher Studies and Jobs.
When they get a Green Card, the parents feel that they own the world.
Forgetting that the values and the standard of Living shall make sure that they do not return.
If you have sent your child abroad you should be prepared for it.
Alternately, you should stay with them there.
If you a can not stay because you want to come to your Native place, then you have no other option but to stay here alone or in an Old Age Home.
You can not blame the children for it.
Not that you need not send your children abroad, but only that you should have the maturity to handle the consequences.
2.Interfering in Grown up children’s day-to-day affairs.
Many elderly do resort to this as a sign of showing their control of the Household.
It produces the opposite reaction.
You have run the family for nearly 30 t0 40 years and you have taught , or you thought you had taught your children to face Life,.
Why not leave them be?
What could they do?
They might make mistakes. like you and I ( should this be ‘Me’) have made when we were young, or for that matter even now.
Why not admit that the younger generation may be, in fact, is more intelligent in handling practical Life than we did?
Let them run the family the way they want.
If you have brought them up well and proper they would have the basic Morals alright.
That would do.
Not the silly expectation of them coming to you and submitting their account and informing you where they are gong and what they are doing.
We have run our Race,
Let the Relay race run.If you run along the relay runner, you Team, The Family, will lose.
Elders need to handle this with maturity.
2.For Children.
Parents are not your enemies.
They say and do hings for you, they may not know to how to go about saying or doing it.
Do not suspect their Love or their concern for you.
They are not Incorrigible.
These incorrigible idiots made you into what you are to-day, even enabling you to speak this way.
The value of parents will be known when they are no more.
Only Parents love you for what You are.-with all your warts.
Others for What You have.
PS.I have not touched the actual Physical and mental abuse of Parents here.
This behaviour is not restricted to the poorer sections alone.
Affluent sections also resort to this, dumping parents in old age Homes , verbal abuse and refuse to maintain them.
I have a few posts on this under Lifestyle/India.
The population of the Senior citizens has been increasing over the years.
The Projected Population aged 60+ by sex as on 1st March 2001-2026, as per the Report of the Technical Group on Population Projections constituted by the National Commission on Population, May 2006 published by the Office of the Registrar General, India is as under:
(In million)
Year
Males
Females
Persons
2001
34.94
35.75
70.69
2006
40.75
42.83
83.58
2011
48.14
50.33
98.47
2016
58.11
59.99
118.10
2021
70.60
72.65
143.24
2026
84.62
88.56
173.18
What are the main features of elderly population of India?
Ans. The profile of the elderly population indicates that:
a majority of them are in rural areas;
feminization of the elderly population; and
increase in the number of older-old (persons above 80 years) and
a large percentage (30%) of the elderly are below the poverty line.
What is the share of the older persons in the total population of the Country?
Ans. The percentage share of the projected population aged 60+ in the total projected population by sex on 1st March 2001-2026, India, is as under:
Year
Males
Females
Persons
2001
6.60
7.10
6.90
2006
7.10
8.00
7.50
2011
7.70
8.70
8.30
2016
8.70
9.80
9.30
2021
10.20
11.30
10.70
2026
11.80
13.10
12.40
Following are the procedures and FAQs on the subject.
The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents under Senior Citizens Act 2007.
he Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007
What are the important features of the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007?
Ans. The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007 envisages providing need-based maintenance to the parents/grand parents from their children. Tribunals will be set up for the purpose of settling the maintenance claims of the parents in a time bound manner. Lawyers are barred from participating in the proceedings of the Tribunals at any stage.
The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007 also contains enabling provisions like protection of life and property of senior citizens, better medical facilities, setting up of old age homes in every district, etc.
What is the applicability of the Act?
Ans. The Act extends to the whole of India except the State of Jammu and Kashmir and it applies also to citizens of India outside India (Section 1(2))
Ans. The Act come into force in a State on such date as the State Government may, by notification in the Official Gazette, appoint (Section 1(3)).
What is the definition of Child/children under the Act?
Ans. The Act defines “children” as son, daughter, grandson and granddaughter who are not minor.
What is the definition of Maintenance under the Act?
Ans. The “Maintenance” includes provision for food, clothing, residence and medical attendance and treatment;
What is the definition of a Senior Citizen under the Act?
Ans. A “senior citizen” means any person being a citizen of India, who has attained the age of sixty years or above;
Who are eligible for claiming maintenance under the provisions of the Act?
Ans. The Act provides that a senior citizen including parent who is unable to maintain himself from his own earning or out of the property owned by him, shall be entitled to make an application for claiming maintenance.
Whether a person other the claimant can file application on his/her behalf?
Ans. An application for maintenance may be made
by a senior citizen or a parent, as the case may be; or
if he is incapable, by any other person or organization authorized by him; or
the Tribunal may take cognizance suo motu.
Whether there is any provision for the Tribunal to order subsistence allowance to the claimant during the proceedings?
Ans. The Tribunal may, during the pendency of the proceeding regarding monthly allowance for the maintenance under this section, order such children or relative to make a monthly allowance for the interim maintenance of such senior citizen including parent and to pay the same to such senior citizen including parent as the Tribunal may from time to time direct.
What is the time limit for disposing an application for claiming maintenance?
Ans. An application filed under sub-section (2) for the monthly allowance for the maintenance and expenses for proceeding shall be disposed of within ninety days from the date of the service of notice of the application to such person. However, the Tribunal may extend the said period, once for a maximum period of thirty days in exceptional circumstances for reasons to be recorded in writing.
What is the monitoring mechanism for implementation of the Act by the States?
Ans. The Act has been enacted in pursuance of the provisions of Article 41 read with Entry 23 of the Concurrent List (Schedule VII) of the Constitution of India. State Governments are required to notify the Act and frame Rules for implementing the provisions of the Act.
However, Section 30 of the Act enables the Central Government to give directions to State Governments for carrying into execution of the provisions of the Act. Further, Section 31 of the Act provides for periodic review and monitoring of the progress of implementation of the Act by the State Governments. The Ministry will act in accordance with these provisions to ensure effective implementation of the provisions of the Act by the States.
Has any timeframe has been prescribed for setting up of Tribunals by the States?
Ans. The State Government are required to constitute for each Subdivision one or more Tribunals as per the need within a period of six months from the date of the commencement of this Act.
What is the effect of the order of maintenance?
Ans. A maintenance order made under this Act shall have the same force and effect as an order passed under Chapter IX of the Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973 and shall be executed in the manner prescribed for the execution of such order by that Code.
Who can appeal to the appellate Authority under the Act?
Ans. Any senior citizen or a parent, as the case may be, aggrieved by an order of a Tribunal may, within sixty days from the date of the order, prefer an appeal to the Appellate Tribunal:
That is the time limit for an appellate authority to dispose of the appeal?
Ans. The Appellate Tribunal is required to make endeavours to pronounce its order in writing within one month of the receipt of an appeal.
Is there any penal provision for enforcement of maintenance order of the Tribunal?
Ans. Yes, the Maintenance Order given by the Tribunal will have the same effect as the maintenance order passed under Section 125 of Cr. PC. This will include imprisonment upto One month and issue a warrant for levying the amount due in the manner provided for levying fines.
What are the provisions about revocation of will?
Ans. As per the provision of Act, a senior citizen can seek to revoke any property, which has been transferred in favour of children/relative on the condition that such children/relative would provide maintenance to him but are not providing the same. The tribunals are empowered to declare such transfers as void on the applications of such parent.
Is any penalty/imprisonment is for the children who abandon their parents?
Ans. Yes, the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act 2007 contains penal provisions to discourage abandonment of parents by their children by imprisonment for a term of 3 months and a fine upto Rs. 5000/- or both on the children.
What the basic duty of Children is has to be pointed out and be forced at the point of a Gun is saddening.
Who abuses Parents Most, Chart.
It is a fact that many a parents find themselves in a Destitute Home, euphemistically called variously, from Elders’Home, Visranti Nilaya,Retire Home,etc, the last names reserved for the Rich children’s parents.
The last-named have a high-sounding reasons.
they have a well organised atmosphere,where they will be more comfortable than they would be with us”
What a concern?
The same group is settled abroad, mostly the USA and satisfy themselves, by calling them on Skype?
If they fall sick the Homes will take care of them.
If the parents die there, they will they will transfer money to the Home to take care of the final Rites of the parents, as they have no time, the body will not be in good condition and they are not going to come back are they?
Parents, without going into the religious or sentiment aspect of things, bring up or at least used to bring up children without being conscious of it.
It was done as though it is an involuntary bodily function.
Never have they imagined/or imagine that they were/are doing it expecting that these children will be grateful or take care of them in their old age when they become infirm.
Nor did the parents whine every second that it was a tiresome affair and that. they’ can not manage ‘because of ‘time and physical constraints’
Nor did the parents engage Baby sitters , devoted exclusively to take care of children; nor did they brag how much they love the children and spend enormous sums on taking care of children.
Children now seem to be taken care of more for social status than urged by the natural instinct.
What ever be the motives , children must remember these are the idiots, who know nothing and were/are poor are the same fools who taught you how to use Toilet and fed you, in many case forcefully, to ensure you remain Healthy.
These are the incapable people who , despite the fact they had little money educated you , forgoing what the wanted for them.
Well, it is not the children’s concern.
Their refrain,
‘What have you done?
You took care of me because it is your duty.
You got married and we were the result.
It is your duty and it is no great shakes that you brought us up.
What is your contribution to the family today , economically or Physically?
We have commitments?
Period.
In such a Value system the move by the Maharashtra Government to shame the children who dump the parents in an Old Age Home by making Public the names of such children in News Papers.
Though this sounds fine, the finer aspect of Human Values is lost.
One who dumps parents in an Old Age Home will not be bothered if his name is Published as a defaulter.
This would hurt the parents more.
I would not be surprised if some socially conscious son files a case that this move by the objecting that this restricts the Freedom of The Individual and the State has no right in this matter.
“MUMBAI: The state Cabinet on Monday came out with a name-and-shame policy for grown-ups who do not take care of their parents, saying those who abandon their parents or leave them with no option but to take shelter in old-age homes will be put on a ‘defaulter (sic) list’ and their names widely publicized through newspapers…
However, everyone whose parents are in old-age homes may not face action. The policy says ‘children of those parents who have to live in old-age homes because their wards are not taking care of them will be put on the list.’
Legal experts said Section 125 of the Code of Criminal Procedure, 1973 and Section 20 of the Hindu Adoptions and Maintenance Act, 1956, make it mandatory for wards to look after their parents, failing which action can be initiated against them. If a person defies a maintenance order given by a magistrate, he/she can also be tried under Section 188 of the Indian Penal Code.
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