Though these are effective, the communication conveyed through these sites by the uploaders do not receive possible Brides/Grooms.
And in most of these sites, the educational and salary expectations are so high and unrealistic, one wonders how people with less qualification/Income get married at all.
In the case of Boy’s parents willing to marry a Girl from of a Family of not affluent means, the girl’s parents suspect that there is some thing wrong with the boy,because of , in their perception,unequal alliance.
And in may a case, the communication between the parents of the Boys and Girls do not proceed smoothly as person to person communication is much better than Email/Video Chats.
I found the following information in Facebook and am sharing it.
We curse our misfortune and disappointments in Life, without realizing that they provide you an opportunity to realize your potential and your toughness of character.
Faced with a No Win situation the individual finds himself/herself , his / her true potential if only they allow themselves.
A girl faced with the prospect of her married life being doomed when the arranged a marriage is called off by her fiance finds herself,
In traditional Indian families calling of the marriage at the last moment would attract a stigma against the girl and it becomes difficult to get married.
An innocent girl, ditched at the last moment by her fiance after the marriage ceremony begins, goes abroad honeymoon’ only to find herself.
How she finds herself is the theme of the Film Queen.
A Director’s Film from the word Go, Queen makes an impact subtly.
“On Wednesday this week, locals discovered the message “Wife, I was wrong” written in what appears to be yellow chalk all the way up a flight of stone steps in the Pingdingshan Forest Park in China’s Liaoning Province.
..
Native Chinese or not, writing that number of kanji characters by hand must have taken the repentant scribbler quite some time, so they will undoubtedly be rather irked to learn that local authorities promptly removed the messages, commenting to reporters that the park is a shared space and not a place for individuals to selfishly vandalise. We only hope that “wife” happened to pass by the park while the messages were still there to be seen.
Neither the identity of the individual who wrote the messages nor their reasons for doing so are known, but the general consensus online is that this that the man had likely cheated on his wife and, with the secret out, decided to do something to atone for his sins.”
I have remarked elsewhere in my posts about some of my relatives getting married to North Indian Girls.
This post is about how compatibles the families were and after before the marriage .
Tying Managl Sutra Thaali, South Marraige
A look into the actual apprehensions , misapprehensions as well.
One boy got married to a Kashmiri Girl and another a Punjabi.
Lest people may think I am generalizing about all the communities, Let me say that both the girls were Brahmins.
Different perspective may be required for opinions on marrying a North Indian and from another community.
Under this category , I have a cousin of mine who got married to a girl from Bengal from another community and the marriage is not what it should be.
However in the present cases there were identical initial objections that normally come in the case of Love marriages that arise even while marrying within the Community.
In the case of marrying to a North Indian the major objection from South Indians is that North Indian Brahmin Culture is different, they are too easy going to adapt to South Indian family vales, they spend too much, and they take unnecessary risks in Life and career.
All the problems were present in the marriages I have mentioned.
And another observation from the South is that the Girl’s side may not agree to South Indian Style of marriage and this the South considers as a sacrilege.
Whatever be the divide between the North and the South , they are united in this objection!
( Let me add, many will consider me as a heretic, that by looking at some of the South Indian marriages being conducted, I feel that it is better to have a registered marriage, for to such level marriage as religious ceremony has descended to with everything being done at the convenience of the people and for Pomp)
The major difference between the North and South Indian marriages are the performance of Marriage in the evening and the non use of Thaali in many North Indian marriages.
The North Indian marriage has Kanyadhaan, Panigrahan and Sapthapathi.
Technically this is the correct Vedic marriage procedure.
Thaali is a concept taken by Aapasthamba, while composing the Aapasthamba Sutra for people living south of the Vindhyas.
Please read my post on this.
So the objection on these grounds seem to be trivial.
Another difficulty faced by the Boys’ parents is that they are used to demanding money from the Bride’s side during the Marriage while in the North Indian marriages(at least in Punjabi and Kashmiri at least) the Boys’ parents are made to shell out for the bride in the form of more jewellery and gifts to her relatives.
But once these initial hiccups are over, the parents of both he children have become very close and each tries to accommodate the other!
The level of looking after the guests is some thing seen to be believed.
And , irrespective of family misunderstandings, (which family does not have), the relatives rally around and take a personal interest, not delegating things to Agencies, even though they have arranged things through the Agencies.
And I have found the girls, though they are very well employed and hail from well to do families, to be very respectful, easy-going and at ease with the new-found relatives.
Though I am not related to these boys closely they often call me up for no specific reason but to chat and enquire about my family and they in general are good.
But this depends on how one interacts with them.
If you keep to your own without interfering into their affairs, which we have no business to, and offer advice when sought for, every thing is fine.
Other wise, things might go awry as with modern girls
.Considering some case of married South Indian Girls, the North seems to better.
Do not take cudgels for this view as this is my experience and my conviction is that a North Indian Girl would do nicely for a South Indian Boy.
The other sides, that of the North Indian Girl’s point of view and the experience of a South Indian Girl marrying to a North Indian Boy, I do not know.
There are eight types of Marriages described in the Sanatana Dharma , the Vedic way of Life, as sanctioned by the Smritis.
What are the types of marriages allowed in the Tamil Culture which is as old and rich as Sanskrit and Sanatana Dharma.?
A study of the ancient Taml work Tholkappiyam, which is regarded as the most ancient Tamil work that deals with Tamil Grammar apart from dealing with Tamil way of Life.
In this the bridegroom’s parents visit the bride’s parents, seek the bride and on approval the marriage is performed.
2.Sevai Manam.
In this type of marriage, the man serves the bride’s father, pleases him and on his approval gets married.
3.Por Nigazhthi Manam, Engaging in Warfare and getting married.
The man who loves a girl goes to war, if any, returns victorious and the brides parents are obligated to marry their daughter to him,
4.Thunangaiyaadi Manam, Winning in a type of Martial warfare and getting married.
It is a game engaged both by men and women(Men Vs Men,Women Vs Women)) .
This is also a part of Tamil Art.
On an auspicious day the game will be played.
Both the hands are made immobile and one should play by nudging with the Elbows and other pats of the body(Parts below the waist are not to be used.
Some times wars may be fought on these days.
Both men and women engage themselves in this game and if both the girl and the man win, individually they are allowed to get married.
5.Parisam Koduthu Manmudiththal, Paying a an amount, like dowry, and getting married.
The difference between the present custom of demanding money from the Bride was not in vogue.
In Vedic times also the Dowry was to be paid by the Bridegroom and not by the bride.
In Tamil Culture., the Parisam, Dowry, may be movable or immovable assets and the Brides parents determine this.
6.Eru Thazhuvudahal,Fighting against a Bull , overpowering it and getting married.
7.Madaleruthal.
The man who is unable to get married his loved one, smears ashes over his body,wears flowers not used generally, like ‘Erukku’-Calotropis gigantea or Calotropis makes a Horse out of Palm leaves , gets onto a horse and rides slowly through the city. crying aloud his Love’s name.
This was regarded as the worst type of Marriage.
This can was done only when the love was mutual, one-sided affairs do not lead to this.
There was Polygamy, one man married many women.
Polyandry, woman marrying many men,is not seen.
Inter-caste marriages took place.
Traditionally marrying from one landscape in another landscape was not allowed.
One belonging to a particular landscape, say like Mountainous regions(Kurinji) marrying one from a different landscape like Mullai-Forest and the adjoining region.
However exceptions were made.
There were also case where men and women got married without parents’ approval.
Illicit affairs were also known.
These come under Kalavozhukkam, Tami literature deals separately on this subject.
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