I have written quite a few articles on various problems one faces in Life and published time tested Mantras from The Vedas and from slokas.
Many Readers have been contacting me over phone an also by email informing me that they have been relieved of the problems.
This I attribute to their faith and their strict adherence to procedures laid down as explained in the relevant articles.
There are as many number of problems as there are human beings and as many situations, many of which are not in our control.
Sometimes One faces a series of problems for no fault of their own and they can not explain the cause.
And these problems arise one after another or at times simultaneously.
I have faced similiar situations in Life and to me it was Devi Abhirami who saved me.
There is one more issue people face to day.
That is, the issue of Divorce.
At times, though either one or both the parties do not wish to procedd with Divorce proceedings the process looms large.
This assumes serious proportions if one party does not want to go with the process.
It is very easy to say to get out of a relationship and look for a new one.
Unfortunately mind is not compartmentalised and despite what we may say we are still ruled by heart , though it appears that we are ruled by Mind and Logic.
One can not wish away the past.
This is not to say that one should not divorce at all.
There are mitigating circumstances and one has no othe alternative but to go in for Divorce.
In such cases one must go in for Divorce.
In other cases I have stated above , if one is not really intent and. wishes to save the marriage there is a Mantra and Yatra Pooja which I camy chance while enquiring with learned people.
Though there are many mantras, I have written about some of them , ther is the Matsya Yanra Pooja which is very effective in overcoming marital disharmony prvent divorce and ensures cordial relationship in the Family.
This Matsya Yantra Pooja is also one of the most effective remedies for succession og problems which are unforeseen and inexplicable.
Please chant the following Mantra if fron of the Yantra daily for 45 days, in the mornings after bath.
Begin ona shukla Paksha,Waxing Moon, Chaturthi,Panchami, Shasti or Sapthami, 4, 5 ,6 or the seventh day after New Moon.
Naivedya, offering to God, is Honey or Dryfruits.
On the concluding day feed the poor at your convenience.
Ensure that you Pray your Family deity seeking permission.
The Yantra.
Matsya Yantra.
This may be drawn in copper or you may draw it with Rice flour on a wodden plank daily.
Palce Sandalwood paste and Kumkum on the corners of the Yantra and also at the centre.
I receive quite a few mails regarding personal problems from the Readers ,seeking solution to their personal Issues and I suggest solutions both from the empirical point and from the Mantra aspect.
Most report that their problems are resolved. I have noticed that the issues fall under these issues.1.Seeking a child.2.Financial difficuties.3.Court problems.4.Health Issues,physical and mental.5.Delayed Marriages.One important issue about which I have been receiving quite a lot of mails,to my regret, is marital incompatibility,strained relationships and divorce.I am pained.
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Before I proceed to provide Mantra to help prevent break up of marriages,Improve strained relationships, I would like to share a few thoughts derived out of experience , interacting with a lot people and by counseling people.
Family is the fundamental unit of society and human beings,gregarious by Nature,need others for their well being,physical,mental,emotional and spirititual.
I have come across people who declare that they do not any one for anything .
Least of all a marriage.
I have quite a few friends who are women( connotation would differ if I say girl friends),who declared about 30 years ago that they did not like marriage,wanted to be independant and concentrate on their carrers.
I have met them recently and meet them often.
Some of them are well known in Fine Arts,Communications and all of them are successful professionals in their chosen field.
None of them is worth less than Rupees one crore and palatial homes in prime localities in Bangalore with servants galore to take care of them.
Being close friends ,they tell me that they feel that they have lost out in life,despite their material success and were anguished that they have none to call their own nor any one in whom they can confide in.
They admitted that professional success and a family need not be in conflict with each other and wished they had a family and pursued their ambitions and managed both.
It is too late for them now.
The point is when two individuals come together there is bound to be conflicts for if there is no conflict ,it is no relationship.
The skill lies in managing the two and survive.
Life is a question of adaptation,management and survival.
If you think deep,you will know that we have been compromising throughout our Life right from childhood.
And it is the Law of Life.
Had we not,we would not have survived.
There is a mistaken impression that we compromise for others.
We compromise because we want to be happy.
Nothing wrong in this.
One marries because one wants to and one feels one would be happy if one marries.
No body marries for altruism.
But as in life’s choices every thing comes with a unique problem of its own and one has to manage.
Are there not conflicts in Fine Arts ,in other professions?
Do people not adjust and manage?
Then why shy away from marriage?
In my opinion it is the fear of responsibility one has to bear with marriage.Marriage is not mere physical.
It has emotional and spiritual side as well.
And companionship.
One needs company after one crosses 50,not merely for Sex.
Unfortunately ,one tends to equate marriage with Sex,thanks to western thoughts!
In India marriages are beyond physical and they are spiritual too.Lord Shiva carries Uma as a part of His body,Vishnu in His heart and Brahma in His tongue.
Shiva and Parvati and regarded as words and meaning,one has no relevance withiut the other.
My point is that one has to adapt in marriages.
No one has an ideal husband or wife and it is not possible as our ideas keep changing.
One has to remeber that one’s partner may have high expectations from the other.
These two do not meet.So one has to adapt.
And if one divorces with whom one is going to get married again?
You could not adjust in one relationship and what is the guarantee you can survive the other?
And in a married life strains are bound to happen.The trick is to face it and be done with it.
Do not carry forward the fight to the next.And respect other’s privacy.
It means the ability to share what needs to be shared and what need not.
Being open does not mean you bare it all.
Share to spouse what is likely to be of relevance to him/her.
However there are cases of infidelity,harassment.
In these cases one may go in for divorce.
Not for his or her movie choices are different,does not respect your relatives/friends.
To mend strained relationships and prevent divorce, please follow the mantra provided here.
Mantra in Hindi: “ऊँ श्रीं ह्रीं पूर्ण गृहस्थ सुख सिद्धये ह्रीं श्रीं ऊँ नम:”Mantra in English: “Om Shreem Hreem Puran Grihsth Sukh Shidhye Hreem Shreem Om Namah”One may chant the first sloka of the Soundaryalahai’Sivah sakthyaayukthoo’ as well.
This mantra was revealed to Uma by Sage Durvasa to help Her marry Lord Shiva.
Muhurtha is a Time of the day. Marriages are conducted in Subha Muhurha,auspicious time.
In Hindu Almanac and Philosophy, Time, at the Macro Level is Cyclic and it is not linear,as we understand it today.
For details on this please read my Post Time, Non Linear.
A Muhurtha is reckoned as 48 Minutes.
References are found, about the Muhurtha,in the Brahmana portion of the Vedas, the Scripture of the Hindus.
The term muhūrta means,
“muhu” (sudden) and “ṛta” (order).
The author of Ṛg Veda III.33.5 seems aware of this, and uses it for word play. Ṛta refers to the natural, yearly order of the seasons, so that the term muhūrta refers to the daily reflection of these.
The term Rta is of special siginficance in Sanatana Dharma.
Rta isa Natural order of things and it includes the Moral Order.
The Order of Nature is called ‘Rta‘,it is difficult to translate in English as Rta indicates Order,Orderliness of Nature,Law of Nature ,The Rhythm of Nature The Truth(Empirical and Transcendental),all are indicated by the term Rta.
One of the Shanti Mantras,that is the Hymn to be used in all all auspicious occasions says
The term appears as early as the Ṛg Veda, where, according to Monier Williams, it means “a moment”, but does not evidence any specification of an exact periodicity there as received in later works,
Pt. Vijay Shrikrishna Jakatdar points to two specific Ṛg Veda passages that employ the term, III.33.5, and III.53.8:[7]
रमध्वं मे वचसे सोम्याय रतावरीरुप मुहूर्तमेवैः | पर सिन्धुमछा बर्हती मनीषावस्युरह्वे कुशिकस्य सूनुः ||
“Linger a little at my friendly bidding rest, Holy Ones, a moment in your journey. With hymn sublime soliciting your favour Kuśika’s son hath called unto the River.” (trans. Ralph T. H. Griffith[8])
and
“Maghavan weareth every shape at pleasure, effecting magic changes in his body, Holy One, drinker out of season, coming thrice, in a moment, through fit prayers, from heaven.”
18 nimeṣas (twinklings of the eye) are 1 Kāṣṭhā, 30 Kāṣṭhās are 1 Kāla, 30 Kālas are one Muhūrta, and 30 Muhūrtas are one day and night(Manu Smriti)
Auspicious occasions are to be celebrated on Subha Muhurtha.
Abhijit Muhurtha is most auspicious.
This normally occurs around 1230 pm daily.
Please read my Post o Abhijit Muhurtham
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This Temple also has 28 Nakshatras’Idols.
The 28th Nakshatra is called ‘Abhijeet’
I may mention that the Abhijt Muhurtha is normally between 12 and 1230 pm and it is not necessary to look for an auspicious time for performance of auspicious events.
The Muhūrtas are traditionally calculated by assuming sunrise at 06:00 AM on the Vernal Equinox, which is the Vedic New Year. Not all of the constellations cross the zenith, so that it is not in every case clear which constellation presides over the Muhūrta. Yet it is clear that one or more prominent features of the correlate constellations, from which the later Muhūrtas draw their respective names, falls within the Celestial Longitude of the same, drawn from the Polar Axis.
It is customary for Indian households to offer Gift to visitors.
Mandatory are the Kumkum(Vermillion) and Thamboola.
The Kumkum is a sign of wealth and prosperity and it represents Goddess Mahaslakshmi, called as Sri.
Thamboolam.
The significance of offering Kumkum is the wishes of the house holder that the visitor may be blessed with Prosperity.
Thamboola has three elements.
Coconut signifies the Blessings of the Trimurthis, Brahma, Vishnu and Rudra, represented as the three marks in the Coconut.
The areca nut iss attributed to Brahma, the Tambool (betel) leaf to Vishnu and lime to Mahesh.i
Lime is offered along with these in Hindu marriages after Food.
At the practical level, this mixture, when taken after food is good for digestion.
The Legend of Thamboola.
Mohini distributed Amrut (ambrosia) amongst various gods. The urn with the remaining of the Amrut was kept near Indra’s elephant « Nagraja ». Growing inside the urn was a strange creeping plant and the gods became ecstatic. Vishnu ordered Dhanvantari to examine the plant. He thus discovered its stimulating quality. From then on, Vishnu began to offer its leaves, as a gesture of love and affection. Since, it is said , that the betel trine was born. It began to be associated with the Brahma-Vishnu-Mahesh Trinity. The areca nut was attributed to Brahma, the Tambool (betel) leaf to Vishnu and lime to Mahesh.
According to another legend, after the Pandavas’ victory at Hastinapur, they began to have a fervent desire for Tambool. A messenger was urgently sent to the underground abode of the Queen of the snakes. The Queen, only too happy to oblige, cut the extreme phalange of her little finger and sent it to the Pandavas. The phalange was planted with great ceremony and soon the Betel plant grew out of the phalange. The creeper is since then referred to as « Nagveli » the snake plant. The ceremony of the leaves commemorates this origin and the Barais offer prayers to the God of snakes on the occasion.
Another version.
Once all dev gans (Devtas, Gods) assembled on Earth at a place called ‘Naumi Sharayan’ to perform some auspicious ceremony, and while they were approaching back to ‘Bakunthya Dham’ (Heaven) they all started feeling thirsty due to extreme heat on earth when a particular community came forward and quenched their thirst by serving them Beatle leaves .Impressed by their hospitality, the Devtas not only blessed them but also honoured them by gifting the title chaturashiitah i.e. ‘CHAURASIA’ . According to the Baudhâyanas’rauta-sûtra CHAURASIA’s belong to Kashyapa, Some believe that they belong to [Bharadvâja],So there are many beliefs about Gotras .
In recent days people of this community are employed in a variety of occupations (some also refers themselves as ‘Vaishya’ i.e. traders,since becoming followers of Vallabhacharya ji, adopting Vaishanavism nearly 300 years ago.) and their religious traditions and culture are becoming less of a factor in daily life.
Two essential ceremonies are conducted in Brahmin Households in the South.
These are followed as a More than as one sanctioned by Sruthi or even Smriti.
Pudavai Kalam, Sumangali Prarthanai.
More is a Group of practices followed by a specific group rather than as a matter of personal choice.
These are followed in the South of India, in the States of Tamil Nadu,Karnataka, Kerala and Andhra.
One is Samaradhanai and the other is Sumangali Prarathanai.
Samaradhanai is conducted before or after an auspicious occasion like Ayush Homa, Upanayana, Pilgrimage , Marriage.
This is conducted for any auspicious occasion.
This is conducted either before or after the event .
In Samaradhanai , Family Deity is worshiped at Home and people are fed.
In Sri Vaishnava Sampradaya, this is called Dhadhiyaarathanai.
In those case where people are not sure of their Family Deity, the Pooja is offered to Lord Subrahmanya, in the case of Iyers, and in the case of Sri Vaishnavas, Lord Balaji.
The other ceremony is the Sumangali Prarthanai.
This again is a custom practiced and it does not find a reference in the Sruthi or Smriti.
This function is more of sentiments practiced in the Family.
This has to be performed, as a thumb rule, following the practices of the ancestors.
While it is not advisable to start this practice if it has not been practiced by the ancestors, it is equally essential note that the practice is not to be discontinued if it had been in vogue in the Family.
This is a function meant for women, married with Husband being alive.
This has to be performed once a year for one Gothra and more than once in year should not be conducted.
Tuesdays and Saturdays are to be avoided.
Fridays during the Waxing of the Moon is advisable.
Wednesdays/Thursdays are also permissible.
Ashtami,Navami Thithis are normally avoided.
Panchami is preferable.
In this function the Blessings of the departed Sumangalis, those whose deaths precede the death of their husbands are sought and those who died young before getting married.
Generally, if the daughter is getting married, the event is done before the marriage.
In the case of a son getting married, this is performed after the marriage, with the Daughter-in-law conducting it.
7 ladies and 2 young girls (preferably below the age of 10) are invited to participate in the function, partake the feast and receive thamboolam.
The total number of ladies should always be in Odd numbers.
The maximum number of ladies allowed normally is 11.
Minimum is 5 +2.
Advisable that unmarried Girl is about Eight Years as it is believed that she represents the Devi.
The ladies who sit for the puja represent all the women of the family who are no more alive.
The function is presided over by the elderly lady members of the family.
Usually the kartha is a sumangali from the family.
The gifts to the ladies vary among families and depend on the financial status of the kartha, very similar to the nandi sradham.
The menu for the feast is also very similar.
9 yds saree in silk or cotton is be bought along with a Blouse piece.
The preferable colours are red, yellow and green.
Invite and procedure.
Those to be invited, kumkum, haldi, oil, shikakai, vasanai podi are to offered at thier Home a day earlier
On the morning of the day, wash the 9 yds saree & a blouse piece with madi (shuddam)after bath & dry.
The Person conducting the Sumangali Prarthana should not take an oil bath.
Kalyana kolam/Rangoli in the entrance, and semman & tie “ mavilai” at Home.
For the pudavai kalam – put a square kolam, (padi kolam), over that keep a palakai & put kolam on that.
In front of that, put a kolam to keep the elai.
On both sides of the Pudavai(Sareee) kalam put kolam for 2 elais , beside for elais facing North, East is preferred next
Fold the dry saree so that the “ pallu” comes on the top.
The corner of the same should face N. Fold the blouse & keep on that.
On the saree keep the following:
A small mirror
Oru kavuli ( 100 no:s) vethalai
Plenty of Kali paakku
Plenty of urundai manjal
Nalangu manjal – (mix of haldi and chunnambu) on a vethalai
12 bananas
10 yds malli, kathambam or roses
Maruthani on a vethalai
A ball of haldi & water on a vethalai
Chullu vella urndai in a vethalai.
A gold chain.
.
In a “ kudam” – water to which cardamom powder and dry ginger powder are added.
One sombu( Vessel for storing water) of panakam
One sombu of neer mor.
Coins to give ladies with vethalai pakku
On the kolam in front of pudavai kalam, put double nuni elai, one overlapping the other.
Nuni should face North.
On other kolams, place elais and Water for Drinking.
Start before or after Rahu kalam.
When the ladies arrive give them manjal mixed with water, to wash their legs, apply and welcome them.
Then give them chandanam(sandalwood paste), kumkum & flowers & ask them to take their seat near the elais.(plantain Leaf)
Offer all items on menu to the pudavai kalam first & hthen serve clockwise to other elais.
Show “ doopa deepam” to pudavai kalam first & then to all ladies.
The “ conducting person” should take in the hand akshathai & flowers, sprinkle below the pallu of the saree in the pudavai kalam & pay your respects( in mind) to all the deceased sumangalis of the family.
Show karpooram (Camphor) .
Now offer a teaspoon of Water to the pudavai kalam and to all women in their hands.
They are to drink it , start eating.
Nobody should get up halfway through.
After everybody finishes eating, again offer a teaspoon of water to thepudavai kalam & move the pallu corner to the North.
One of the daughters in law should eat the pudavai kalam sappadu.
After meals the ladies should be given naeer mor, panakam & chukku vellam.
Then smear haldi on their legs and apply nalangu.(Mehendi)
Offer flowers, maruthani, chandanam & kumkum.
In a plate keep lot of vethalai, pakku, gundu manjal, coconut, kumkum bharani, comb, mirro, coin, 2 bananas, blouse piece – keep in their paLLU.
Give akshathai in their hand, do namaskaram ,request them to Bless you.
After the person who conducts has eaten, she must give the saree to a poor woman who also is asked to eat.
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