Ramanisblog

Tag: child

  • ADHD ‘is not bad behaviour’.

    Abnormal or normal behavior is a value judgment.Many of us impose our views of behavior on children.
    If one is sloth or a martinet, then behavior of the child may be viewed differently based on one’s nature.
    In the present day, people tend to seek immediate,instant solution for everything , including children behavior.
    Children are children.Merely because they do not conform to our standard of behavior, it does not mean they are sick.
    Trying to find a physiological/psychiatric solution shall compound the problem.
    Children follow parents behavior and the child needs to have a normal stable family. Ido not know how many parents’ background has been taken into account along with the status of their married life.
    Behavior of children shall drastically vary in each case.
    Normal behavior( again a relative term) can be expected of children if the home is stable and proper parenting, by which I mean personal attention ,not money alone with personal attention and sharing of children’s emotion and feelings, is done.
    Children must be treated as a kings till 10 years,as a slaves till 15 years and as  friends after 15.To achieve this our behavior should be exemplary.
    Children not doing well in class is not the criterion to classify the child as  a problem child as also being cantankerous can be taken as a sign of  bad behavior.
    Stable family ,Faith( of any nature),Family values and courteous behavior by parents, the ability to understand the child’s likes and dislikes  and effective verbal and non verbal communication shall ensure that the child  develops into a normal adult.
    Story.

    A child is being disruptive in the classroom – not paying attention, talking and annoying those around him. Does he have Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder? Or is he simply badly-behaved?

    Children jumping on sofa Experts say bad behaviour is distinct from ADHD

    It is a question many parents may have asked themselves about their child or about someone else’s.

    But experts say if parents think their child may have ADHD, they are probably right.

    Bad behaviour is intermittent and often premeditated, experts say.

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-11443945

    Misbehavior is caused by bad parenting, right? That has always been said, but that child in the grocery store might not be a brat – he might have a medical problem.

    Not Bad Parenting – Medical Causes of Behavior: Some Conditions that Affect Children’s Behavior http://www.suite101.com/content/not-bad-parenting-medical-causes-of-behavior-a70954#ixzz11vGTG6L7

    Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, also known as ADHD, are very energetic and can cause a great deal of frustration for parents that don’t know how to deal with their sometimes outrageous behaviors. ADHD children sometimes seem as if they are driven by a motor, the Energizer Bunny that never stops! They also have a difficult time sitting still, often squirming in their seats or fidgeting with anything they can get their hands on. ADHD kids also seem to talk excessively, the non-stop chatter can be frustrating and even overwhelming, especially when it’s combined with the creative sound effects that these children are so good at. Whether it is talking, whistling, or clicking their tongues against the roof of their mouths, ADHD children are continually making some sort of noise!

    How does a tired and overwhelmed parent deal with these hard to handle children?

    1. ONE THING AT A TIME! Parents should realize that they can’t change all of the child’s undesirable behaviors at once. Focus on one specific behavior that you would like to change. It doesn’t necessarily have to be one of the most annoying or distracting behaviors. It could be something as simple as remembering to put his toys away when he is finished playing with them. Remember that ADHD children forget things quickly, they need several gentle reminders to help them remember. When it is almost time to clean up, start reminding the child that he will have to put all of his toys back into his toy box as soon as he is finished playing with them. Many ADHD children respond better when they know something is going to happen, surprises or a change of routine may throw them off-guard and cause them to act out.2. STAY CALM! Although it may be difficult, try your best to remain calm even when the child’s behaviors are at their worst. When you get angry or scream and yell at the child, it will NOT make his behavior improve, it will make his bad behavior increase. Couple that with your bad reaction to his behavior, and a real crisis could result. Many children, particularly ADHD children, will strive for attention, even if it is NEGATIVE attention. If the behavior is something that can be ignored (something that is not dangerous or potentially harmful to anyone), try ignoring the behavior. In some cases if the child sees that he is not getting your attention with his actions, he may stop the behavior. However, in some instances the child may try to outsmart your ignoring technique and increase the actions of his bad behavior. If after several minutes the child continues with his behavior, you probably need to intervene. Try putting the child in Time Out for a few minutes, usually the amount of minutes should correspond to the child’s age. While the child is in Time Out, do not talk to the child. This will teach the child that his negative behavior will not earn him your attention, but his good behavior will. Explain to your child WHY he is being put in Time Out and that you will talk to him as soon as he gets out.

    3. A FIRM ROUTINE! ADHD children function best when they have a firm routine to adhere to. Spontaneity is not a friend to the ADHD child

    . Knowing what to expect and when to expect it can decrease a lot of bad behaviors. If the child’s bed time is 8:00 p.m., you should have him start getting ready for bed 30 minutes sooner, knowing that his ADHD behavior will require him to be forewarned. Establish a routine where you tell your child that he has 30 minutes until bedtime. Remind him again when it is 15 minutes until bedtime. Make sure that he is in bed at 8:oo p.m. if that is the bed time you have chosen. Establish a similar routine for homework, getting ready for school or in whatever category your child needs more structure.

    4. ESTABLISH A BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION PLAN! A Behavior Modification chart should not only take away privileges when the child displays the wrong behaviors, but it should reward the child when something is done successfully, or when the child has tried his best! Make a chart of behaviors that are acceptable as well as ones that are not acceptable. Make sure that the child knows that his good behavior will reward him with something he wants (stickers, a new toy, watching a movie of his choice, etc.). Always be consistent with your Behavior Modification techniques. Your child will soon learn that not putting his toys away means that he will have to go to bed 15 minutes early. If you need help creating a Behavior Modification plan, check your local library, there are several books available aimed at helping parents to create an effective Behavior Modification chart for their child.

    5. GET SUPPORT! There are many organizations that bring parents, teachers and doctors together to discuss ADHD and how it affects your child and your family. One such group is C.H.A.D.D., Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder. All parents of ADHD children feel overwhelmed at times. Support groups, such as C.H.A.D.D., are not only a wonderful way for parents to get together to discuss behaviors and techniques, but the group leaders often have some of the latest information and medical updates on the disorder. Check your local newspaper or phone book for times and meeting places, or you can search for C.H.A.D.D. on the Internet.

    Different children respond to different methods of Behavior Modification. Above all, be consistent in your approach to dealing with your child. ADHD children need a very strict routine, any changes may upset them. All parents of ADHD children know how frustrating and overwhelming it can be to deal with the child’s behaviors

    at times. If you feel that you cannot deal with the child at that moment, take a few minutes in a separate room to calm down. Remember that you are not Wonder Woman or Superman: if you need help don’t be afraid to ask for it.

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    Detect language » Hungarian

  • Who is family?

    Indian Family Waiting on the Bus
    Image by Stuck in Customs via Flickr

    Family initially consisted of,after social orderIndiachildren‘s family. was established,in at least, parents,Grand parents, Brothers’ family and

    Now the concept of Joint joint family in India is dwindling and it is a joint family if husband and wifehouse. stay together in a

    Acceptance of gays and lesbians as a member of the family is inevitable as the values are changing.

    We do not know whether it is for the better.

    Whatever be the  definition of family the principle is emotional and spiritual bonding and support.

    It does not matter who constitute a family but do they fulfill the above criteria ?That’s important.

    Joint family as stated in the beginning of this blog is ideal.

    Story:

    NEW YORK (AP) — As much as Americansrevere the family, they differ sharply on how to define it.

    New research released Wednesday shows steadily increasing recognition of unmarried couples — gay and straight — as families. But there’s a solid core resisting this trend who are more willing to include pets in their definition than same-sex partners.

    http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/parenting-family/2010-09-16-family-definition_N.htm?csp=34news&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed:+UsatodaycomHealth-TopStories+(News+-+Health+-+Top+Stories)

    Related article.

    Whether modern lifestyle that we are leading is correct.We have to go to villages small cities to learn about happy living. A lots of things have to looked into to lead good lifestyle. Read the article for all these.

    http://socyberty.com/society/modern-life/

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    Detect language » Hungarian
    AfrikaansAlbanianArabicBelarusianBulgarianCatalanChineseCroatianCzechDanishDetect languageDutchEnglishEstonianFilipinoFinnishFrenchGalicianGermanGreekHaitian Creole ALPHAHebrewHindiHungarianIcelandicIndonesianIrishItalianJapaneseKoreanLatvianLithuanianMacedonianMalayMalteseNorwegianPersianPolishPortugueseRomanianRussianSerbianSlovakSlovenianSpanishSwahiliSwedishThaiTurkishUkrainianVietnameseWelshYiddish⇄AfrikaansAlbanianArabicBelarusianBulgarianCatalanChineseCroatianCzechDanishDutchEnglishEstonianFilipinoFinnishFrenchGalicianGermanGreekHaitian Creole ALPHAHebrewHindiHungarianIcelandicIndonesianIrishItalianJapaneseKoreanLatvianLithuanianMacedonianMalayMalteseNorwegianPersianPolishPortugueseRomanianRussianSerbianSlovakSlovenianSpanishSwahiliSwedishThaiTurkishUkrainianVietnameseWelshYiddish

    Detect language » Hungarian

  • Two year Old Chain Smoker -Video.

  • Child afraid of its shadow. Video..

  • The Danger Of Having Unrealistic Expectations or Ecpectations.


    I have a grand son who is eight months old .I have been observing his behavior.Till a few weeks back he has been all smiles excepting when he was hungry.He seemed to have an inner reservoir of happiness which was gushing out in smiles despite what is happening around him or who picks him up.
    Now he has started moving on his stomach towards objects.When he starts moving , he goes backwards, unable to grasp the object of his attention and starts crying.
    The child is the same, objects remain what they were;yet he has started crying while a few months earlier when he never attempted the present maneuver,never went after objects, was smiling.
    Now the situation and his reaction has changed.
    Earlier he has been accepting things for what they were and never had an idea/made an attempt to acquire the object;he did not have the desire for acquisition or he did not expect any thing.He was happy.
    This is the essence of Life.Leave things as they are.Do what you feel like doing with an innocent child’s mind of about 6 months and you shall remain happy.
    One must know there is nothing that can be changed by you.If think so, it is an illusion.You may argue with this point.But experience shall tell you the Truth as mentioned above.
    Nor can you change people.
    The closest person to you is yourself.Have you listened to yourself and changed?
    Things are what they are and you are what you are.
    This does not mean inaction.This means non action.That is, you perform a task because it ought to be performed knowing pretty well that you are only one factor in completing a task whether it is brushing teeth or earning money.Many other forces that are not in your control have roles to play.If you worry about results you shall be impairing the efficiency of the only factor, that is you, that is in your control, thus reducing the overall efficiency of factors that lead to completion of an act.
    So do the best and leave it at that, whether it be a task or relation ships.This is the secret of Happiness.Now Read on….

    DISCONNECTS BETWEEN EXPECTATIONS AND EXPERIENCE

    I would argue further that the reason many of my forewarned patients report to me the experience wasn’t as bad as they expected was precisely because I warned them it would be bad. Though I’ve used a medical example here, the impact of any disconnect between our expectations and our experience is felt in almost all contexts. Our expectations of our experiences dramatically color not just how we experience waiting for them but the experiences themselves. Four scenarios exist regarding expectations and experiences. We can have:

    1. Low expectations and a poor experience, where our low expectations can mute the disappointment or even the discomfort we feel at actually having a poor experience.
    2. Low expectations but a good experience, leading to a pleasant surprise.
    3. High expectations and good experience, in which we get to enjoy not only the anticipation of looking forward to something fabulous but an experience that actually lives up to our expectations and therefore feels thoroughly satisfying.
    4. High expectations but a poor experience, in which we often emerge bitterly disappointed or even traumatized.

    THE BEST STRATEGY

    The “gain” at which we set our expectations tends to be more a matter of habit and disposition than conscious intention for most of us. Some of us expect little, perhaps as a way to defend against disappointment, accepting the cost of a muted or absent anticipatory sense of joy. Others of us can’t help having high expectations, basking consistently in the glow of anticipation but often paying a different price: the painful disappointment that comes when experiences fail to live up to those high expectations. Even worse, sometimes having unrealistically high expectations prevent us from being able to enjoy our experiences at all.

    I honestly don’t think one strategy is better than another but rather that different strategies are better suited for different types of people. If you observe yourself to be continually disappointed by experiences you feel you should be able to enjoy, you may do better by consciously lowering your expectations somewhat. Likewise, if your expectations remain so consistently low you never think things will work out for you, you may find yourself plagued by a gloomy pessimism that blocks you from savoring a truly enjoyable part of life—the anticipation of good things—and you might work on allowing yourself to expect just a little more.

    Though we all may have a built-in set point at which we unconsciously tend to set our expectations, that doesn’t prevent us from consciously grabbing the reins and adjusting them up or down to suit our needs. Certainly it would be ideal if our expectations always perfectly matched our experiences, but as the quality of many experiences is hard to predict, we might do better to adjust our expectation of how much we think we’ll enjoy or dislike an experience based more on how we know those expectations will affect us than on how accurate we may think they’ll turn out to be.

    My own personal preference is to know up front as much as I can about both good and bad experiences coming my way. For me—and, I’ve observed, for many others—not knowing what’s coming when anticipating something bad creates even more anxiety than having full knowledge of how bad what’s coming will be. Knowing the limits of the “badness” I’ll be facing enables me to focus on preparing for it rather than on managing my imagination’s tendency to inflate it beyond all rational proportion. For me at least, the devil I don’t know is far worse than the devil I do.

    Though soon after the anesthesiologist left our room for the last time my wife and I had both become resigned to having a different experience than we’d expected, after our son was born (perfectly healthy) we received another surprise: my wife’s left-sided pain actually became worse, located now not low in her pelvis where her uterus was appropriately contracting down to staunch any bleeding, but rather high up in the left upper quadrant of her abdomen where it had absolutely no business being. When I glanced worriedly at our obstetrician she only shrugged in confusion. The anesthesiologist was called back in one last time, gave my wife a narcotic, and the pain finally faded away, never to return. To this day, however, my wife regards the last five hours of her labor as one of the worst experiences of her life. The only thing that saved the day was that it was followed immediately by one of the best.
    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201003/the-danger-having-unrealistic-expectations