Technically this is the correct Vedic marriage procedure. Thaali is a concept taken by Aapasthamba, while composing the Aapasthamba Sutra for people living south of the Vindhyas. Please read my post on this. So the objection on these grounds seem to be trivial. Another difficulty faced by the Boys' parents is that they are used to demanding money from the Bride's side during the Marriage while in the North Indian marriages(at least in Punjabi and Kashmiri at least) the Boys' parents are made to shell out for the bride in the form of more jewellery and gifts to her relatives. But once these initial hiccups are over, the parents of both he children have become very close and each tries to accommodate the other! The level of looking after the guests is some thing seen to be believed. And , irrespective of family misunderstandings, (which family does not have), the relatives rally around and take a personal interest, not delegating things to Agencies, even though they have arranged things through the Agencies. And I have found the girls, though they are very well employed and hail from well to do families, to be very respectful, easy-going and at ease with the new-found relatives. Though I am not related to these boys closely they often call me up for no specific reason but to chat and enquire about my family and they in general are good. But this depends on how one interacts with them.
Tag: Mangalsutra
I have posted some articles on the Samskaras or the Rites of The Hindus and on Hindu marriages. Yesterday, my brother's daughter posted a message in Facebook asking me to write on 'Thaali, Metti' and their significance in Hindu marriages, Thalli in Tamil and Mangal Sutra in Hindi has no place in Vedic marraiges. In Vedic marriages marriage has two names Panigrahana and Kanyadaan, handing over and Gifting away the daughter.
Check list.
1.Inform Family priest, Sastrigal.
2.Keep the body lying head facing South.
3.Light an Oil lamp near the Head.
3.Light some Agarbathis to ward off smell.
4.As one is not to cook at Home till the body is taken out,inform relatives for arrangement of food for the day.
5.Inform people who are to be informed.
6.At best the body can be kept for about 10 hours;under special circumstances, it may be kept for 24 hours in an air-conditioned casket.
7.Those who go to the burning ghat must go the next day for the collection of Ashes.
8.Ensure that a Doctor visits and give you a certificate.
9.In the case of Death in a hospital, make sure that the necessary formalities are complied with and a certificate is obtained.
10.Inform the Crematorium about the expected time of the arrival of the body after consulting the Sastrigal.
11.At the Crematorium show the certificate and get a receipt. Some times it will be issued the next day.
12.Get the Death registered .
Clarifications on some aspects.
1,One can perform the ceremonies for the first twelve days at specified places,
However it is correct to perform all the Rites at Home and it will bring prosperity.
2.The rites for the first ten days may be done from the seventh day , performing the cumulative rites for six da
I attended a close Relative's wedding recently.
The Bride's Family are Tamils settled in Mumbai about Forty years back.
They claim they are Tamils'speak Tamil at Home, their Mother Tongue is Tamil, declare they are originally(?) from Palghat.
The Marriage was conducted South Indian Brahmin style.
On the dais, when the final ceremonies of tying the Mangal Sutra(Thaali), Uncle of the bride, who was standing near me exclaimed, on a particular ceremony being performed(Aupaasana),
'Yeh, pehle Karna Thaa' ( this should have been performed earlier)
I asked him what his mother tongue is.
He replied 'Tamil"
The behavior of the Tamils who are settled or even on a short stay to the Northern States, particularly Mumbai, New Delhi, is funny to say the least.
They talk in Hindi, watch Hindi Channels when on a trip to their relatives Homes in their Native State and converse in Hindi< much to the discomfiture and embarrassment of their Hosts.
They add comments,
'ye madrasi ka practice hai'
They seem to imagine they are culturally superior to their people speaking their language, forgetting the fact that they are never accepted as a Northerner in the states where they are settled in.
You might have been living in these states for even fifty years, still you are a Madrasi'!
Yet for important functions they come back to their Native place or State!
They speak Hindi, English an Tamil, can not write or read Tamil, yet call Tamil as their Mother tongue.
Yet they follow Tamil Traditions.
They just do not seem to know their Identity.
They belong neither here nor there.
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