Those who are successful need not be happy and the Happy need not be successful.
Success is measured by the others or our conception of what others consider us to be a Success.
We think we are happy with success because we hear people talking about our ‘Success”
But not all say you are successful in an endeavor, profession.
Some deride because of it if not brushing it aside.
One feels Happy when one hears talk about one’s success and becomes depressed when some one ignores it .
And we set ourselves a Goal in Life, in the present days,at success in what is being perceived by the others as Success.
If some group says you are a Success when you get a five figure Income, own a house, Beautiful wife, become CEO of a Company, Star or a Public personality.
Till some one comes out with another formula.
All these are subject to change as perceptions of people starts changing on things and issues.
There used to be a time in India, that getting B.Com Degree, secure a Bank employment you are a success.
Then came MBA.
Now it is B.E. in Computers and an IT Job.
You were a success if you ha a two-wheeler.
Now a Car!
As values change s is your success target.
And our own definition of Success changes from one point if time to another.
As against t this, Happiness does not require the others.
Look at a toddler.
Its smile of Happiness captivates you, so natural
Why?
Because a Child knows to be Happy with itself.
You set it for your self.
Once set, it does not generally change.
Here your happiness does not get affected or change because of the changing perception of you by the others.
I am amused by the recent trend in the Resume being prepared by those who seek jobs.
With out even knowing details of the Company to which they are applying-Standard format people write” endeavour to suit myself to the long-term and short-term goals of the Organisation, I will fulfil my responsibilities with zeal and attune my self to the goals of the Organisation and develop my self and in the process contribute to the growth of the Organisation”
involves establishing specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-targeted (S.M.A.R.T ) goals. Work on the theory of goal-setting suggests that it’s an effective tool for making progress by ensuring that participants in a group with a common goal are clearly aware of what is expected from them. On a personal level, setting goals helps people work towards their own objectives—most commonly with financial or career-based goals. Goal setting features as a major component of personal development literature:
“Goals provide a sense of direction and purpose” (Goldstein, 1994, p. 96).[
“Goal setting capitalize on the human brain‘s amazing powers: Our brains are problem-solving, goal-achieving machines.”
One really does not really know what he really wants out of Life.
Our desires keep on changing, so do our wants.
At times we feel we want to become something that appeals to us immediately , just as wanting to become a film star after seeing the popularity, other times world leader in a moment of idealistic zeal:want to become a millionaire ,want to be one with out the trappings of money and live as an ascetic; want to be a small fish in a big pond, at other times, big fish in a small pond;want to be married with a family, live single..the list is endless.
If one were to set goals based on these thoughts one would run the risk of regretting when the interest on the basic assumption ceases and one changes track which destabilizes the individual and leads to frustration and stress.
People plan on these ‘Goals’, little realizing that for successful fruition of any task, many an agent is required and that individual planning is not sufficient.
More than this we do not know whether we will be alive the next second.
All the planning in Life is based on the fact that we will be alive!
If one wants to be happy, Be happy(Tolstoy) for being happy is the natural State of Man.
Do not burden yourself with too many goals in your Life.
Life shall set goals for you, you handle those challenges.
Therein lies happiness.
”
1. Make sure the goal you are working for is something you really want, not just something that sounds good.
I remember when I started taking baseball umpiring more seriously. I began to set my sites on the NCAA Division 1 level. Why? I new there was no way I could get onto the road to the major leagues, so the next best thing was the highest college level. Pretty cool, right. Wrong.
Sure, when I was talking to people about my umpiring goals it sounded pretty good, and many people where quite impressed. Fortunately I began to see through my own charade.
I have been involved in youth sports for a long time. I’ve coached, I’ve been the President of leagues, I’ve been a treasurer and I’m currently a District Commissioner for Cal Ripken Baseball. Youth sports is where I belong, it is where my heart belongs, not on some college diamond where the only thing at stake is a high draft spot.
When setting goals it is very important to remember that your goals must be consistent with your values. 2. A goal can not contradict any of your other goals.
For example, you can’t buy a $750,000 house if your income goal is only $50,000 per year. This is called non-integrated thinking and will sabotage all of the hard work you put into your goals. Non-integrated thinking can also hamper your everyday thoughts as well. We should continually strive to eliminate contradictory ideas from our thinking. 3. Develop goals in the 6 areas of life:
Family and Home
Financial and Career
Spiritual and Ethical
Physical and Health
Social and Cultural
Mental and Educational
Setting goals in each area of life will ensure a more balanced life as you begin to examine and change the fundamentals of everyday living. Setting goals in each area of live also helps in eliminating the non-integrated thinking we talked about in the 2nd step. 4. Write your goal in the positive instead of the negative.
Work for what you want, not for what you want to leave behind. Part of the reason why we write down and examine our goals is to create a set of instructions for our subconscious mind to carry out. Your subconscious mind is a very efficient tool, it can not determine right from wrong and it does not judge. It’s only function is to carry out its instructions. The more positive instructions you give it, the more positive results you will get.
Thinking positively in everyday life will also help in your growth as a human being. Don’t limit it to goal setting. 5. Write your goal out in complete detail.
Instead of writing “A new home,” write “A 4,000 square foot contemporary with 4 bedrooms and 3 baths and a view of the mountain on 20 acres of land.
Once again we are giving the subconscious mind a detailed set of instructions to work on. The more information you give it, the more clearer the final outcome becomes. The more precise the outcome, the more efficient the subconscious mind can become.
Can you close your eyes and visualize the home I described above? Walk around the house. Stand on the porch off the master bedroom and see the fog lifting off the mountain. Look down at the garden full of tomatoes, green beans and cucumbers. And off to the right is the other garden full of a mums, carnations and roses. Can you see it? So can your subconscious mind. 6. By all means, make sure your goal is high enough.
Shoot for the moon, if you miss you’ll still be in the stars. Earlier I talked about my umpiring goals and how making it to the top level of college umpiring did not mix with my values. Some of you might be saying that I’m not setting my goals high enough. Not so. I still have very high goals for my umpiring career at the youth level. My ultimate goal is to be chosen to umpire a Babe Ruth World Series and to do so as a crew chief. If I never make it, everything I do to reach that goal will make me a better umpire and a better person. If I make it, but don’t go as a crew chief, then I am still among the top youth umpires in the nation. Shoot for the moon!
Every year, millions of adults resolve to “lose weight” or “get in shape” during the next year. Instead of selecting such an ambiguous goal, focus on something more concrete that you can realistically set your sights on. For example, you mights say that you are going to lose 10 pounds or run a mini-marathon. Choosing a concrete, achievable goal also gives you the opportunity to plan exactly how you are going to achieve your goal over the course of the year.
True.There is a fad right now, especially in the Corporate Culture, to set long term goals and short term goals.( I normally tell people that my long term goal is to live and short term goal is how to go about getting the next meal).What normally happens in such organisations is that people either do their jobs or not.Instead of talking shop, one could identify what wants to be done, what his abilities are and start doing with out thinking too much about planning,implementation,methodology etc .
Do what you want and at the same time what you can.
Correct.Do what you have to to day and right now.The fact that you are waiting for a specfic date is an indication of your weak resolve.
For instance if you want to quit Drinking do it the moment you feel like implementing it and announce it to others so that even if you want to return to your old ways the fact that you have informed others will make you think twice.
4. Start With Small Steps.
I differ
For a case like drinking/weight reduction you have to go all out.
For Other resolutions like catching up with old pals, keeping up to peer pressure, improved communication skills; may be fine with ‘small steps’
5. Avoid Repeating Past Failures
Even here one has to careful about analysing the cause of past failures;for instance we might have failed for no fault of ours.In that case we have to be careful in exercising pressure on our selves.
In all actions one must remember that we are only one of the factors for the completion of a task and not all the factors.These factors are not in our control.So the best way is perform to your fullest potential without bothering too much about the out come.
Those unhealthy habits that you are trying to change probably took years to develop, so how can you expect to change them in just a matter or days, weeks or months? It may take longer than you would like to achieve your goals, but remember that this is not a race to the finish. Once you have made the commitment to change a behavior, it is something that you will continue to work on for the rest of your life.
7. Don’t Let Small Stumbles Bring You Down
Encountering a setback is one of the most common reasons why people give up on their New Year’s Resolutions. If you suddenly relapse into a bad habit, don’t see this as a failure. The path toward your goal is not a straight one, and there are always going to be challenges. Instead, view relapses as learning opportunities.
If you are keeping a resolution journal, write down important information about when the relapse occurred and what might have triggered it. By understanding the challenges you face, you will be better prepared to deal with them in the future.
8. Get Support from Your Friends and Family
Yes, you’ve probably heard this advice a million times, but that is because the buddy system actually works. Having a solid support system can help you stay motivated. Explain what your goals are to your close friends or family and ask them to help you achieve your objectives. Better yet, enlist the help of others by joining a group that shares your goal.
During the first days of a New Year’s Resolution, you will probably feel confident and highly motivated to reach your goal. Because you haven’t really faced any discomfort or temptation associated with changing your behavior, making this change might seem all too easy.
After dealing with the reality of dragging yourself to the gym at 6 A.M. or gritting your teeth through headaches brought on by nicotine withdrawal, your motivation to keep your New Year’s Resolution will probably start to dwindle. When you face such moments, remind yourself of exactly why you are doing this. What do you have to gain by achieving your goal? Find sources of inspiration that will keep you going when times get tough.
I feel that going along with what we set ourselves to do will be fine. Motivation etc, in my opinion, are things that look good in a text book or in a seminar and not in real life, meaning that you do/ are doing what you like doing.Period.You can’t beat a dead horse.
itial spark of motivationthat they felt immediately after making their New Year’s Resolution. Keep that inspiration alive by continuing to work on your goals, even after facing setbacks. If your current approach is not working, reevaluate your strategies and develop a new plan.
Consider keeping a resolution journal, where you can write about your successes and struggles. Write down the reasons why you are working toward your goal so that you can refer to them during times when you feel uninspired and unmotivated. By sticking with it and working on your goal all year long, you can be one of the few able to say that you really did keep your New Year’s Resolution.
Rather you keep on doing what you are doing;if you lose interest, examine yourself.
If still disinterested over a period of time repeatedly, better to leave it.
I myself and my wife – in order to escape the disgrace of deposition or capitulation – choose death. It is our wish to be burnt immediately on the spot where I have carried out the greatest part of my daily work in the course of a twelve years’ service to my people.-Adolf Hitler.
Setting goals is fine but one must remember that Life is not about realizing our goals alone,it is about Living, feeling not about rationalizing .Life is a comedy to those who feel and a tragedy to those who think.
When we set goals, we have two outcomes,you realize or you don’t.
In the case of the former, life becomes meaningless to you,in the latter you become frustrated.
The knack is setting goals that are partially achievable and not fully; at the same time not impossibly tough to achieve.
Fame and recognition for a fraction of a second in the Time scale of the Universe.
We presume in our arrogance that what we think we achieve furthers Humanity in some field.it is nothing but arrogance.Universe is not because of us but despite us.
We should know we are limited and our purpose is to live,love and feel without hurting others and be contented.
Related article.
A 35-year-old intellectual wrote a 1900+ page suicide note touching upon historical, religious, and nihilist themes. And his mom probably didn’t even read the whole thing. Apparently he shot himself in the head on the steps of the Harvard Memorial Church in front of a tour group of 20 people.
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