Tag: baby care

  • Parenting Consistency Punishment Myths Facts

    The first Myth is that you need to be trained and educated on Parenting.

    Quote on Parenting.
    Parenting Quote.

    Parenting is instinctive and no body needs training or to be educated.

    One picks it up as one becomes a parent.

    I recall a Seminar was invited to deliver a Lecture on Parenting.

    Knowing my views I tried to refuse.

    But on their insistence, I attended it.

    I requested them to speak towards the end.

    Speakers after speakers stressed on Parental Stress,Adjustment,Consistency, setting examples, carrot and stick, Lifestyle adjustment etc.

    I was the last to speak.

    ‘ All of you have listened to exposition on Parenting.

    Animals do Parenting, take care of their children, those of you who are present here have been brought up by parents,most of them not educated, definitely have not attended courses on Parenting.

    I see that all of you to have grown up to be normal Adults’

    That’s my message and sat down.

    That’s my view even now.

    The first myth is that some parents say: why would I do things differently? I turned out just fine, so I guess my parents got it right and now I’m duplicating their system!

    To those parents I’d like to say: what makes you feel so sure that this system will work for your child as well? Is your child a perfect copy of you? And wouldn’t it be nice to think of a system first and then decide what system to use instead of picking up the pieces afterwards, when it’s too late?”

    True.

    Be yourself, that’s enough.

    Don’t try out to be what you are not.

    “The second myth that I hear very often, from both parents and experts on this topic, is that you should let your child know who’s the boss, by punishing, blackmailing or rewarding your child! There are many, many books written why I think you should never even consider doing things like this. But the main reasons are that punishing and blackmailing are based on fear, otherwise, your child would not listen to you. Rewarding is based on dependency, otherwise your child would not be willing to do the things you want. This way, your child will never become an independent individual. In all cases, you are on the receiving end, as you always get what you want!”

    There is no question of being a Boss with your child, it is ridiculous.

    Act instinctively and do what you think is right for the child.

    The third myth is that one should be consistent! It is a myth that I also hear often.

    When I first became a parent, I also tried to be consistent, but I failed time after time. I simply could not keep it up. So in the end, I gave up completely. When I heard that being consistent is impossible, I felt so relieved! To put it even stronger: if you want to be consistent, you will need to suppress your own feelings and at times, will need to lie to your own child. This way, your child will never learn to take other people’s feelings into consideration. So now you know, this is a myth, and nothing else but a myth.”

    Humans by Nature are and never can be consistent.

    If you try you will become artificial and your child can detect it and avoid you!

    Reference:

    http://www.enannysource.com/blog/index.php/2013/05/29/expert-insights-with-laura-fobler-coach-and-author-of-the-parenting-struggle/

     

  • Diapers,Parenting

    Use of Diapers if of recent origin in India,started some 15 years back.

    When my children were growing up, we had under-wears, what is called as ‘Jatties’

    These are made of thin cloth and dry faster.

    We also tore up the Dhoti(Indian Men’s wear, a wrap around around the midriff to suitable lengths for use for the children.

    This we continued till they were 3 to 4 years.

    When I was a child , I am informed by my sister in law that they used to leave me naked till I was 4!

    When the child wets, when it has no cloth around it, the place was swiped clean with Cow’s Dung.

    Cow Dung as many may not know is an effective disinfectant.

    The child washed around the parts,

    Now the trend is Diapers.

    They slap some contraption around the child’s loin and leave it at that.

    Brand advertising keep screaming at you, soft, smooth,enough room for ventilation etc.

    The child develops rashes.

    Then you apply some special cream!

    Now new brands claim to be rash proof.

    Parents remove these Diapers once in two hours or so.

    If the Mother were to be a working woman and leaves the child to a Baybysiiter, well, the Diaper will be removed whenever she felt like it or she remembers.

    All the while the child will be wet not withstanding the ‘Absorbent Technologies’

    Bed wetting was problem we never faced.

    Now It has assumed Psychiatric proportions, thanks to Freud!

    With all this advances, the bonding( !) between the mother and child is less as compared to what it was, as people of the present day of ‘Unhygienic way of bringing up children’

    Their Science now says that the old way encouraged bonding better!

    Story:

    Diapers
    Diapers

    When Jada Shapiro decided to raise her daughter from birth without diapers, for the most part, not everyone was amused. Shapiro scattered little bowls around the house to catch her daughter’s offerings, and her sister insisted that she use a big, dark marker to mark the bowls so that they could never find their way back to the kitchen.

    But “elimination communication,” as the diaper-free method of child-rearing is called, is finding an audience.

    Shapiro, who is a doula, a birth and child-rearing coach, says it is practically now a job qualification to at least be able to offer diaperfree training as an option to clients. Caribou Baby, an “ecofriendly maternity, baby and lifestyle store” on the border of artsy Greenpoint and Williamsburg , has been drawing capacity crowds to its diaper-free “Meetups,” where parents exchange tips like how to get a baby to urinate on the street between parked cars…

    Parents are drawn to the method as a way of preserving the environment from the ravages of disposable diapers, as well as reducing the laundering of cloth diapers and preventing diaper rash. Many of them like the thought that they are rediscovering an ancient practice used in other cultures , though they tend to gloss over the fact that many of those cultures had never heard of Pampers . But mostly, they say, they like feeling more in touch with their babies’ most intimate functions.

    “I think for a lot of parents, the motivation is just to be more in tune with what their kids’ needs are,” Adriane Stare, proprietor of Caribou Baby and herself a diaper-free mother, said on Thursday, about a week after holding her most recent meetup. Another meeting was written about on Thursday on the news Web site dnainfo.com; the next is May 14.

    Stare said she “EC’d ” her oldest son, Damien, who is now almost 4, and is doing it again with her second boy, Loren, who is almost 4 months old. Stare watched for cues that meant her baby needed to go to the bathroom or was going to the bathroom, like a certain cry or squirming or a grimace . Then, she began associating those cues with her own noises , like “sss,” or grunting. After a while she could make those noises — the elimination communication — to the baby while holding him over the toilet or the sink for perhaps 20 seconds, and he would go to the bathroom on command or refuse if he was not ready.

    There are misses, she admits, but even cleaning up a small mess on the floor is easier, she says, than laundering diapers…

    Asked whether the practice was a health hazard, Jean Weinberg , a spokeswoman for the New York City health department said: “Really the only infectious disease problem at hand has to do with hand washing. Otherwise, it’s just a general sanitation issue.”

    Shapiro, a founder of Birth Day Presence, a childbirth education studio in Park Slope and SoHo, said most clients laughed when they heard about elimination communication, but one or two in every group signed up. At three weeks, her daughter could hold her bowel movements until she was put over the bowl, she said.

    “I have absolutely been at parties and witnessed people putting their baby over the sink,” she said. One client took her baby and her bowl to a party, held her naked baby over the bowl, “and she just did it at this person’s party in the corner, but obviously they were close friends,” Shapiro said.

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-04-21/science/38709857_1_cloth-diapers-pampers-disposable-diapers

  • Post Delivery Behavior.-Mother’sBehavior,Baby Feeding,Bowel Movement,

    My daughter deivered a baby about 45 days back.It was a Natural Delivery, no drips even.She with stood it gamely with out even a whimper.
    Certain behavioral changes were noticed.This is about this and how we over came them.
    1.She became highly irritable , at times hysterical, blaming the child ,her father!-Baby’sGrand father!(me)
    2.Sleep pattern was disturbed.
    3.At the drop of a hat she will consult various Specialists,Gyn,Dieticians,Lactation Expert,Paediatricians et all;all offering conflicting opinions.
    4.She was constantly worried about the baby.
    5.Food timings were irregular and she was not eating regularly..
    For 1-The reason is that she has been able to make people adjust to her till the baby came along.All around her adjust to her ,father, Mother, brother ,husband.She is near perfect in organising herself, both professional and personal life.Baby is different.It can not understand and acts instinctively and demands milk when it needs it;doesn’t matter what time it is.
    It cries for no reasons known to us.It needs cuddling well into the night.you can not talk to him for he does not know what the fuss is all about.He wants things ,period.In short, she could not make him adjust to her.At the same time she feels that she feels bad when she finds irritating when she could not meet his demands immediately on demand.This has created conflict in her mind.She lost sleep,that led to tiredness and irritation;this in turn made her more irritable and the cycle continud.Hence the tantrums.The solution was to deal with her firmly, saying that she ought to do it and her comforts ,for the time being should take a back seat, at least till the baby is 90 days old.If he wants to be cuddled, no matter what time it is and fed when he wants.You can not apply discipline and time management to him.This was done by her Husband as she was my favorite and I could not talk to her that way;I was more concerned about her health.Result was evident in a couple of days.When she slleeps, me and her mother shall take care him.She will have the milk expressed; we will keep it in the fridge and take it out hallf an hour before the approximate feed time in the night(around 1am and another at 3 am),warm the milk in bottle in warm water and feed him and cuddle him in my bed.My daughter got about 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and she is now perrfectly all right and has become radiant as before.
    -Child will not follow,at this stage, fixed time frame for feeding nor will consistent in milk intake.Feed it as it demands.Specialists say ,at times, to feed once in two hours.By blindly following this, a friend of my daughter had landed her child in Hospital for Deydration.Reason;when she found the child asleep even after 2 hours of feeding him she kept quiet with out feeding.When people say feed him once in every two hours and also feed him as he demands means, it means you feed him once in 2 hours and even after 2 hrs, even if he is sleeping ,wake him and see if he wants a feed.Child will never take more than what it needs;it will spit it out.( Do not keep the Expressed Milk for more than 4 hours , even in a fridge)
    Another prolbem is is child’s bowel movement.it is all right for the child with out moving bowels for 48 hours.
    Give the baby well boiled and cooled water at least three times a day,three tea spoons a time.
    If the problem persists,take the Stem of the leaf( the betel leaf is from the betel pepper, or pan plant (Piper betle), family Piperaceae) which Indians use it for Pan which they eat after food,wash it,slighly heat the leaf in open fire,say a candle) it should not be burnt) , cut the top small stem protruding at the top ,dip it in pure castor oil and insert it in the anus of the baby and keep it there for about ten minutes; the child shall relieve it self.You can remove the stem.This is very safe.Inserting tablets Doctors prescribe induce colic pain and you can see it in the face of the child when it passes motion.
    Do not run to Doctors/specialists for every small thing.If the child takes mother’s milk, it will be perfectly ok.Nothing to worry about.
    Do not try to analyse the child too much and its behavior.It is behaving on reflex and be relaxed-Enjoy Motherhood.
    What I have expressed here are born out of experience and practices followed in India for ages.For excessive lactation, see my blog on Excessive lactation/Breast feeding.
    If some of the points are useful even to one mother, I shall be happy.Decision to follow is yours.

    Note;This is applicable to babies being fed Mother’s Milk;others please seek doctor’s opinion.