A man tried to Murder the Girl who was matched by the matrimony site Match.com , a Matrimony Service provider.
Because of the latest stratification of the Society, economic affluence and Technology people resort to matrimony site advertising.
But one has to ensure that back checks are carried out by one self and take care in collecting information and verify it .
Personal visits are mandatory.
It is safe to meet with the parents and enquire about the family directly and cross verify with neighbors diplomatically.
Though the process is laborious and calls for tact, it is important as it involves Life.
These suggestions are for Indian families who still think parents are important.
I got my son married through Internet matrimony site tamil matrimony.com
It is not correct to blame the matrimony site, as physical check of every one registers. is not possible.
Story:
matrimony site.
Mary Kay Beckman first met Wade Ridley after the online service paired the two up in September 2010, and knew him for only 10 days before breaking up with him. Four months later, according to Courthouse News Service, on the night of Jan. 21, 2011, Ridley hid in her garage and eventually attacked her, stabbing her 10 times and kicking her in the head. Beckman is now suing Match.com for $10 million, citing negligence, negligent misrepresentation, deceptive trade, failure to warn and negligent infliction of emotional distress.
In her official complaint, Beckman claimed that the site led her to believe that she’d end up in a ”stable and loving relationship with another member” and didn’t properly warn her about the dangers of meeting ”an individual whose intentions are not to find a mate, but to find victims to kill or rape.” However, Beckman has not sued Ridley, whodied in prison last year while serving a sentence of up to 70 years for the crime. (For the record, he was also wanted for killing an ex-girlfriend in Phoenix.)
Following the attack, Beckman underwent several surgeries to repair her jaw, save her eyesight and hearing and to replace part of her skull, Courthouse News Service reports. She seeks $346,000 in economic damages, $5.4 million in noneconomic damages, and $4.1 million in punitive damages. In a statement, Match.com agreed that what happened to Beckman was “horrible” but said that the lawsuit was “absurd” and that the site cannot be held responsible for the actions of one “sick, twisted individual.”
Put it bluntly it is taken as a licence and a short route to Debauchery and sexual gratification a la animals with out a sense of responsibility.
(some studies show Gorillas have a strong sense of marital Commitment!)
Some of the Reasons provided.Reason#1 – It’s financially responsible.
Where I live, an apartment can run you somewhere between $700 and $1400. Dropping an extra $1000/month seems like throwing your money down the drain. If you’re a particularly “committed co-habitor” (yep, I like the term too ), you might even be building up equity in a home you’ve bought together.”
You spend all your time together anyways. Like wasting money with rent, wasting time is equally frustrating. You drive to each other’s places many times during the week. You help each other with cooking and cleaning and laundry and bills. Traveling back and forth, virtually living in two places, is kind of like the inconvenience of living out of a bag on a business trip. It’s annoying. If you want to be together, why all the running around?
Reason #3 – It seems like a good next step in the relationship. Consumers that we are in America, everything exists with a try it before you buy it clause. Every infomercial promises that you can try it and return it in 30 days for a full refund. And the bigger the purchase, the more you want to make sure it’s just right. What kind of fool would buy a car before thorough inspection and testing? Thankfully, marriage in our society today does, to a degree, maintain some semblance of “a big deal”. Couples don’t want to rush into that. Well, what about a “____ day money-back” transition period to see if this relationship truly feels right? These test periods make sense in every other aspect of our lives, why not our relationships?
Reason #4 – It’s so common. By definition, nothing will make something seem like “not a big deal” faster than commonality. I guarantee you know couples that are living together outside of marriage. In fact, many of you, especially if you tend towards the younger generations, might know more couples that are living together than not. It’s the age old, after-school-special argument of “How can it be that bad if everybody’s doing it?” It was not, at least statistically speaking, common 40 years ago though. Imagine that, after the sexually open-minded 60s, co-habitation was still considered fairly taboo. People that lived together outside of marriage (particularly women – a strange double standard in our society that’s more appropriate for another article) developed reputations. People don’t like bad reputations. Regardless of ethnicity or religion, there is one word out there that young women don’t want to be called more than any other word. Young people don’t call young girls promiscuous or even “skanky” anymore. They call them this word – a word that will make a girl feel more worthless than any other – a destructive word that I guarantee is used at your child’s school. 40 years ago, living together with a man would earn a woman a label like this. Not anymore. In fact, if she’s only sexually active with one man, marriage or not, she’s virtually safe from labels today. It’s just so common that it won’t warrant a subjective label like that.
Reason #5 – We love each other. Love is a funny word. It’s a fascinating biblical word. When a young couple chooses to live together because they love one another.
Living together is considered to be more stressful than being married.
Just over 50% of first cohabiting couples ever get married.
In the United States and in the UK, couples who live together are at a greater risk for divorce than non-cohabiting couples.
Couples who lived together before marriage tend to divorce early in their marriage. If their marriage last seven years, then their risk for divorce is the same as couples who didn’t cohabit before marriage.
Cohabitation Facts Rarely Mentioned
In France and Germany cohabiting couples have a slightly lower risk of divorce.
If cohabitation is limited to a person’s future spouse, there is no elevated risk of divorce.
In the U.S., cohabiting couples taking premarital education courses or counseling are not at a higher risk for divorce.
The number of unmarried couples living together soared 12-fold from 430,000 in 1960 to 5.4 million in 2005.
More than eight out of ten couples who live together will break up either before the wedding or afterwards in divorce.
About 45 percent of those who begin cohabiting, do not marry. Another 5-10 percent continue living together and do not marry.
Couples who do marry after living together are 50% more likely to divorce than those who did not.
Only 12 percent of couples who have begun their relationship with cohabitation end up with a marriage lasting 10 years or more.
A Penn State study reports that even a month’s cohabitation decreases the quality of the couple’s relationship.
(rayfowler.org.)
Read this.
Of the 45 percent or so who do marry after living together, they are 50 percent more likely to divorce than those who remained separate before the wedding.So instead of 22 of the 45 couples divorcing (the 50 percent divorce rate) about 33 will divorce. That leaves just 12 couples who have begun their relationship with cohabitation who end up with a marriage lasting 10 years.
English: image of marriage license (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The argument that problems arise need not be a reason for negating the marriage.
If the logic of uneasiness in facing or solving problems is the issue then living itself is a problem.
People tend to enter the bond of Marriage with the mind-set ‘what can I get’, with out realising that Marriage, as in other things in Life is a two-way traffic.
One has to bear in mind the partner also has expectations and as no one is perfect, disappointments are bound to be there.
If Divorce or ‘Fixed time Marriage’ is the solution, what next?
Do you propose to remain Single?
If not, what is the guarantee that the same incompatibility would not creep in again?
After your first Relationship did not last because of inability to compromise.
There can be no Relationship without Commitment and reciprocity.
In Life unless one learns to compromise, there is no Happiness.
Our Survival itself is because of Compromises .
Story:
”
When you live in a place with a 50 percent divorce rate, is “till death do you part” even a realistic concept? In a radical rethinking of matrimony, Mexico City’s assembly is mulling a proposed civil code reform that would enable the city to issue marriage licenses with time limits.
The idea, explains assemblyman Leonel Luna, is to help couples avoid “the tortuous process of divorce.” Instead, couples could opt for a renewable contract for a minimum two-year term, complete with provisions for the division of assets and custody of children. “If the relationship is not stable or harmonious,” Luna says, “the contract simply ends.” Luna says there could be a vote on the new marriage contracts by the end of the year.
Unsurprisingly, the Catholic Church, still fired up over Mexico City legalizing same-sex unions in 2009, is none too pleased with the move. Mexican archdiocese spokesman Hugo Valdemar told Reuters this week that “This reform is absurd. It contradicts the nature of marriage. It’s another one of these electoral theatrics the assembly tends to do that are irresponsible and immoral.” Because anything other than a lifetime binding contract between a man and woman is hooey!
There’s something irresistible about the notion of a love that can last forever. But matrimony has always existed as both a business relationship as well as a romantic one. Sure, plenty of arranged marriages have led to deep and lasting love, but they’ve also been built on practical social alliances between families. The blending of fortunes, the rearing of children — they all factor into the culture of marriage. Just ask Patti Stanger. It’s not just about eternal ardor. So why not make it easier for couples to openly acknowledge another practical aspect of marriage – that it doesn’t always last until one person gets the privilege of burying the other one?
Love, even under the best of circumstances, is not a static condition. Even if you’re with the same person, the relationship you’re in at 24 isn’t the one you’re going to be in at 64. And though it may sound harsh to subject it to periodic review, there is in fact both a pleasantly incentivizing reason to do so and a luxuriously liberating one as well. Think of any couple you’ve ever known — or possibly participated in — in which domesticity was taken as Let Yourself Go pass. Partnered life doesn’t have the urgent frisson of early dating, but it’s not an excuse to stop putting in the work, either. How different might the experience of marriage be if both participants in it were subject to periodic, mutual review? The chance to say, here’s what’s working, here’s what’s changed, here’s what needs improvement? The opportunity, even, to say, maybe it’s time to move on? Why not acknowledge that a great five-year run could be more satisfying than a 30-year sentence? After all, we leave jobs and houses and quietly distance ourselves from old friends all the time, and it’s rarely considered failure. Instead it’s understood to be part of growth and the nature of life. So why is permanence so highly prized? Why is endurance equated with commitment?
In a recent Study,it is reported that marriage has to have other para meters such as Age,education and cultural origin “may help reduce divorce”.
Women age faster than Men and they normally get ailments due to child-birth and definitely before and after menopause.
As one grows older, the Relationship evolves into one of Companionship ,Compromises and understanding to such an extent that words are not needed.
For this equation, the factors Age,Shared values,Background ,Education. do matter.
Read On.
Story:
Men should marry a woman who is cleverer than they are and at least five years younger, if they want the relationship to last, according to new research.
Scientists tracked 1,000 couples who were either married or in serious relationships over five years and then looked for patterns among those who were still together. They found that the man should be five or more years older and the woman should have received more education than the man.
The academics’ report, published in theEuropean Journal of Operational Research, did say that men and women choose partners “on the basis of love, physical attraction, similarity of taste, beliefs and attitudes, and shared values”.
But it added that using “objective factors” such as age, education and cultural origin “may help reduce divorce”.
Their research suggests marital bliss for pop star Beyoncé Knowles, 28, and her husband, the rap star Jay-Z, who is 11 years older at 39. She is also better educated as he did not receive a high school diploma.
However, while Michael Douglas, 65, is considerably older than his wife, Catherine Zeta-Jones, 40, the fact that he was previously divorced would count against them, the findings suggest.
The scientists, including Emmanuel Fragniere of the University of Bath, found that a previous divorce lessened the chances of a relationship surviving, but this was less marked when both partners had been divorced before.
Grandmas are moms with lots of frosting. ~Author Unknown
What a bargain grandchildren are! I give them my loose change,
and they give me a million dollars’ worth of pleasure. ~Gene Perret
Grandmothers are just ‘antique’ little girls. ~Author Unknown
Perfect love sometimes does not come until the first grandchild.
~ Welsh Proverb
Crying Infant.
A grandmother is a babysitter who watches the kids instead
of the television.. ~Author Unknown
Never have children, only grandchildren. ~Gore Vidal
Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you’re just
a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric. ~Pam Brown
Grandchildren don’t stay young forever, which is good because Grandfathers have only so many horsy rides in them. ~Gene Perret
When grandparents enter the door, discipline flies out the window.
~Ogden Nash
Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see just
you all day and now the day was complete. ~ Marcy DeMaree
Pensive Child
Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our
hearts forever. ~Author Unknown
If I had known how wonderful it would be to have grandchildren,
I’d have had them first. ~Lois Wyse
My grandkids believe I’m the oldest thing in the world. And after
two or three hours with them, I believe it, too. ~Gene Perret
If becoming a grandmother was only a matter of choice, I should
advise every one of you straight away to become one. There is
no fun for old people like it! ~Hannah Whithall Smith
It’s such a grand thing to be a mother of a mother – that’s why the
world calls her grandmother. ~Author Unknown
Thinking Child.
Grandchildren are God‘s way of compensating us for growing
old. ~Mary H. Waldrip
You do not really understand something unless you can explain
it to your grandmother. ~Proverb
An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again.
Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly. ~Gene Perret
Baby with Friends?
The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You
feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long
periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida . ~Dave Barry
I wish I had the energy that my grandchildren have – if only for
self-defense. ~Gene Perret
Grandmother-grandchild relationships are simple. Grandmas
are short on criticism and long on love. ~Author Unknown
Nobody can do for little children what grandparents do
Grandparents sort of sprinkle stardust over the lives of
little children. ~Alex Haley
Grandmother – a wonderful mother with lots of
practice. ~Author Unknown
A grandparent is old on the outside but young on
the inside. ~Author Unknown
One of the most powerful handclasps is that of a new
grandbaby around the finger of a grandfather. ~Joy Hargrove
It’s amazing how grandparents seem so young once you
become one. ~Author Unknown
If your baby is ‘beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses,
sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the
time,’ you’re the grandma. ~Teresa Bloomingdale
Grandparents are similar to a piece of string – handy to have
around and easily wrapped around the fingers of their
grandchildren. ~Author Unknown
), you might even be building up equity in a home you’ve bought together.”
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