Son is considered to prevent parents from entering a horrible type of Hell, ‘Puth’: hence son is called as ‘Puthra’ in Sanskrit.
What do the Puranas say about the duties of the son?
For every child, devotion to parents is the primary Duty.
So much so ,the Upanishad says, Mathru Devo Bhava,Pitru Devo Bhava’,Devote yourself to Mother ,Father.
This, during the parents’ lifetime.
Last and ensuing rites after death is to be performed by the son, and by the father for the son.
These Karmas are to be performed with the Sacred Thread worn on the Left shoulder(Pracheena Veedhi)
The Last rites are to be performed only by the eldest son That is the rites performed immediately after death.
But after the Thirteenth day all the Rites, including Srardha is to be performed by all the sons.
There is a view that if the elder son performs the Srardha, other sons need not perform.
If all the brothers stay in one house and perform the Srardha the eldest can do and the others can be by his side.
If they stay separately then every one has to perform separately.
Other than the sons of the wife married in the Vedic way, sons of the deceased may perform the last rites, if
The son was born to a Man who married without paying the parent’s of the girl ,
of a Concubine.
On death, all the relatives must bathe the dead body ,dress it up with only Dhoti,or Saree apply Vibhuthi,Thiruman or Kumkum and adorn with Garland.
No ornaments, even if it is Rudraksha has to be removed and the body’s head should face the South.
All the relatives must take part in this.
Daughter of the deceased must bathe the body and wash the place where the body was kept initially and keep the washed body there.
As soon as one is dead, a smoking fire is to be kept outside the House.
None should eat till the body is set afire.
After the Pretha(Body)Karmas are done with and the body burnt in the Ghat, people should enter the house after washing their feet and take bath with their clothes.
Should sleep on the floor till the twelfth day.
Till the thirteenth day food can be taken only once in the morning and Pinda, a Rice ball, is to be placed for the dead.
The Karmas are to be performed at Home.
A small hole, Kuzhis, is to be made , just outside the house,within the compound, and covered.
The Kuzhi Tharpana is to be performed by the Paternal side relatives till the tenth day.
Should take bath outside the village or town, offer Tharpana and donate Dhoti,Angavastra or Saree and Blouse bit on the First,Third, Seventh and ninth day of the death.
Asthi Sanjayan, the dissolving of ashes is to be done on the Fourth day.
(The Current practice is performing this Karma on the second day, Vishnu Purana says it should be done on the Fourth day)
After twelfth day one can sleep on he bed.
But till the thirteenth day no intimate relations with husband or wife is allowed.
During this period, all the three varnas, Brahmana,Kshatriya and Vaisya should not recite Vedas, Engage in Dhaana or Dharma nor should one accept any thing from the others..
For more on this read my posts on Srardha and Srardha Samayal
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https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsDear Sir,
My father died in October 2002 and My mother did not allow me to do last rites of my father and my younger brother did everything and I being elder son was not allowed forcibly to do the rites.
I was married and my wife and son was also not allowed to do the rites.
What should I do now, will it have any affects to me.
Till now I do not have any problems because I was right in all the deeds but my mother and brother have cheated me of my rights and property.
Please help me of some solution as I have not done the last rites of my father.
regards,
Narendra
You may visit one of the pitru dosha parihara sthalangkallil and perform Sraddha on your father’s annual Sraddha Thithi. Then you may perform Sraddha every year.
My mother passed away last year in August, I was planning to do her 1 year rite, Should it be done at Benaras/Gaya? Please suggest.
It may be done at home as well..Performing at Gaya first is ideal.Regards.
Gaya can be followed by Allahabad Triveni and Varanasi and doing at these three places at a stretch is very auspicious.
https://polldaddy.com/js/rating/rating.jsHi Sir,
Last year my paternal grandmother passed away on May. Since My marriage was on June, my father did not do the last rights for my grandmother. My father is the eldest son. My uncle, my father’s younger brother, did the last rights.
For the first year death anniversary, My father is willing to give Tharpanam and other rituals at Home but my uncle says that he wants to give that at Sea shore, Rameshwaram.
Q1. Which one is correct, whether to give first year death anniversary rituals at home or sea shore?
Q2. Can my father and uncle give Tharpanam seperately? ie., My father at home and my uncle at seashore at the same time?
Your father can do it at home while your Uncle can do it by the seashore.
Tharpana can be performed anywhere.
Sraddha and Tharpana must be performed by each
What about first year karma?
Since my grandfather expired 5 years ago and my grandmother expired last year, Priests in the community have asked us to perform last rights for grandmother only on this year and should continue the rituals only for my grandfather from next year onwards.
So we will have to give Tharpana for my grandmother only on the first year right!
What does first year karma mean? Do we need to perform any rituals or something?
I take that this is from your father’s side. If the cremation, burial karma was performed for your grandmother last year the annual karma Sraddha has to be done on completion of one year on the same month and Thithi. For your gandfather also thecsame applies. If not done for him visit any of the Pitru Dosha parihara Sthalas. You can find my article on this.
Hi Sir,
I would like to rephrase my question, It was karma Sraddha not Tharpanam that needs to be performed for my grandmother. So the question would be:
Last year my paternal grandmother passed away on May. Since My marriage was on June, my father did not do the last rites for my grandmother. My father is the eldest son. Hence My uncle, my father’s younger brother, did the last rites (lighting the fire).
Q1. Which one is correct, whether to give first year death anniversary rituals (karma Sraddha) at home or sea shore?
Q2. Can my father and uncle give karma Sraddha separately? ie., My father at home and my uncle at seashore at the same time?
Then my first reply that it can be performed at both places. In fact it must be.
Dear sir,
My Father-in-law passed away in June 2016 and first death anniversary is in July 2017. My husband will be doing the first anniversary related ceremonies in India. My husband is the first son. During the death rites I was present the whole 13 days and participated in the rites. is it necessary for me to take part in the annual ceremonies also. We live abroad and have two children who cannot come to India for the first death anniversary ceremonies. I would like to stay back with the children if that is permitted.
Regards
Vanaja
You are to be present when you husband performs the ceremony.Ceremony performed without spouse has no sanctity.
husband dies and no issues for them. Who will do the karma ??