Ramanisblog

Tag: relationships

  • Divorce, Widow Remarriage Allowed By Vedic Hinduism

     

    Gandharva Marriage-Shakuntala and Dushyant.
    Gandharva Marriage-Shakuntala and Dushyant.

    Marriage in India, Hinduism is a bit complex in that Marriages are intertwined with Religion ,Spirituality, Disposition and place in the Society.

    As I have mentioned in my earlier posts, the Social Organisation , incorrectly called as ‘Caste’ Marriages were classified into Eight Types, based on the couples disposition and their Social Status.

    The Eight Types of Marriages ,Vivaha.

    1. Brahma Vivaah:Brahma vivah is considered the best marriage. In this the boy and girl belonging to good families and the same varna get married. The boy should have completed his Brahmacharya Ashram (studenthood). There is no dowry involved and the girl enters the boy’s house with two sets of clothes and some ornaments. In this marriage, the boy’s family approaches the girl’s family. “Kanyadaan”, which is the handing of the bride by her father to the groom, is an important ritual of the Brahma Vivah..
    2. Prajapatya Vivaah: This type of marriage is the same as the Brahma vivaah in all respects, except that the bride’s father gives her away as a gift, not to the groom, but to the groom’s father. This type of marriage is resorted to when the groom and bride are both very young. Thus, the protection of the bride or daughter is handed over by her father to the groom’s father during the Panigrahan (hand-receiving) ceremony. The wedding ceremony involving the young bride and groom may take place immediately afterwards, but the wedding may not be consummated for several years, until the bride and groom are old enough.
    3. Daiva Vivaah: In this type of wedding, there are no feasts or celebrations that are specific to the wedding, but the wedding of the daughter of a poor family is held as an act of charity by wealthy people. It was customary for kings, landlords and rich merchants to hold religious ceremonies and sacrifices where many gifts would be given and charities performed for the benefit of learned Brahmins and the poor. During these great events, a poor man would sometimes approach the wealthy host and seek the charity that his daughter’s wedding be performed at this time. This type of marriage may take place if the girl’s parents are unable to locate a suitable groom within a reasonable period (several years) after the girl has attained puberty. Often, the reason for this would be that the parents of the bride cannot afford the expense of their daughter’s marriage. It was considered improper or unsafe to keep a girl unwed past her teens, and anyway the chances of an aging girl getting a good husband were not better than the same girl getting a good husband at a younger age. So the girl would be bedecked with flowers and whatever small ornaments the parents could provide and taken to the venue of the religious ceremony or sacrifice being performed by a rich magnate. She would be offered in marriage to any willing man and generally this would be one of the priests, young or old. The wedding ceremony would be performed in short order and the feasts which were anyway being hosted as part of the festivities would suffice for this extra wedding also. According to the Dharmashastra, Daiva marriage is considered avoidable but is still respectable since poverty is not culpable; lack of virtue is reprehensible but honest poverty is acceptable.
    4. Arsha Vivaah: In this type of marriage, the family of the groom pays kanya-shulkam or bride-price to the parents of the bride. According to certain texts, the prescribed bride-price is a cow with a calf and a pair of bulls. The sacred texts provide various lists of specific communities where this custom prevailed and imply that it is unfitting in general society. However, several instances are found in the puranas of marriage between a man from mainstream communities and a woman from one of the bride-price seeking communities (Pandu–Madri; Dasharatha–Kaikeyi, etc.). In nearly all cases, the man willingly pays the bride-price and brings his bride home. Also in nearly all these cases, the woman thus obtained comes to dominate her husband and causes havoc and ruin in his family.
    5. Asura Vivaah: In the Asura type of marriage the groom is not at all suitable for the bride. In no way is he a match for the girl but he willingly gives as much wealth as he can afford to the bride’s parents and relatives. In Arsha type cows are given in exchange for the bride but there is no such limitation in the Asura type of marriage. Generally the groom is of lower social rank or caste than the bride. This type of marriage is highly disfavored.
    6. Gandharva Vivaah: When a man and a woman marry for love and without the consent of their families, that marriage is called Gandharva Vivaah or ‘love marriage.’ This type of marriage is considered impious and degrading because it is motivated by lust. In Hinduism, a man is supposed to marry a woman who will aid him in performing his duties towards his parents, clan and society, and to have sons to perpetuate his lineage. Love marriages are seen as taking a man away from all these duties and making him besotted to a beautiful, lustful woman, mindful only of his own selfish pleasures and unmindful of his duties. Hence this form of marriage is reprobated.
    7. Rakshasa Vivaah: This is essentially marriage by abduction. In cases where the girl is willing to marry the boy but her family is against the alliance, the girl may be abducted and married. It is essential that the girl be willing, because otherwise, the puranas and shastras simply treat the incident of abduction as rape, with consequent vengeance and retribution. Instances of such marriages include Krishna–Rukmini and Arjuna–Subhadra, in all of which cases the girl was willing and the results were good.
    8. Paishacha Vivaah: In the case where the bride is intoxicated, possessed or not in a conscious state of mind when being married and thus is married unwillingly, is an example Paishacha vivaah, and which has been outlawed by Manu.(Wiki)

    Of these eight,  in the first Two Case, Brahmana Vivaha and Prajapati Vivaha, Divorce and Remarriage and Widow Remarriage were not allowed.

    This is because of the elevated status these two groups, which perform these types of Marriages belong to.

    Normally  these were performed by the Brahmana, Kshatriya and Vaisya Communities.

    What is important to note is that the ‘Caste’ is determined based on wedlock and Wedlock is not determined by the caste, in the sense that those who marry other than these two types of Marriages no longer belong to the Group and are not constrained by  their original groups laws.

    An example is the marriage of  Asura Guru,Sukra’s daughter’s marriage.( Devyani).

    Sukracharya, a Brahmin was the Guru of Asuras .

    His duty was to get his daughter married  in the style of Brahmana Vivaha.

    Since it he did not do it, for no fault of his, he separated himself from his daughter, who later married  a King.

    In these cases, the Laws of Manu ,proscribing remarriage or Divorce do not apply.

    The Laws of Manu forbidding Remarriage and Divorce are related to the two types of marriages and not to other Varnas.

    In all the other six cases, laws of Manu do not apply and there is no bar for remarriage.

    As has been the vein of Sanatana Dharama, stricter laws are applied to Barhmains, Kshatriyas ans Vaishyas.

    Therefore Divorce and Remarriages were allowed  except in the case of the Brahmanas ,Kshtriyas and Vishyas,

    In case people from these groups decide to marry in a form other than what is prescribed, Namely Brahman Vivaha and Prajapati Vivaha, tey acn, but they are no longer controlled by the laws that were applicable to them earlier.

    The which group do they belong to and what rules should they follow?

    This will be dealt with separately in another post, where I will be discussing how many so-called caste groups came into being.

    Ref:

    Indian History By Reddy.

    http://books.google.co.in/books?id=CeEmpfmbxKEC&pg=SL1-PA233&lpg=SL1-PA233&dq=remarriage+of+Gandharva+Vivaha&source=bl&ots=fwIEuFM2AF&sig=1WnCrPG8RSlQFj2FltTr278Iqlk&hl=en&sa=X&ei=UUPvUdPiF4q8rAfXg4HwDQ&ved=0CD0Q6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=remarriage%20of%20Gandharva%20Vivaha&f=false

    http://hinduism.about.com/library/weekly/extra/bl-lawsofmanu1.htm

  • Divorced Women To get Husband’s Inherited Property

    Hindu Marriage,Ammi Mithithal
    Ammi Midithal
    Ammi Midithal
    The groom touches the feet of the bride and lifts her right foot gently and places it on the Ammi(grinding stone). This signifies her hope that their union may be as firm and steadfast as the grinding stone.

    Women , not all of them but the self-styled feminists, would like one to believe that they are being discriminated by Men,want Equal Rights with Men.

    They also say that they are not weak , can do what a Man could do.

    In the same breath they expect Men to be chivalrous and give, as a courtesy(!?), to give priority to women in Public, say like allowing them the first right of passage,special seats for them in Trains buses, special timing and excuses for leave in the work place.

    To me if you want to be equal to Men , you should expect to be treated like men.

    To garner votes, the Government of India has gone overboard.

    The Cabinet has given the nod for the following proposals.

    “A wife will have a share in her husband’s inherited or inheritable marital property on divorce, though the exact quantum of the compensation has been left to the discretion of the judge, according to a legislation that was cleared by the Union Cabinet on Wednesday.

    The Cabinet also cleared the proposal that in cases where divorce has been sought on mutual consent of both parties the judiciary has been given the discretion to grant divorce to one party after a period of three years, even if the man and the wife are no longer on the same page. These were part of the recommendations of the GoM on Marriage Laws Amendment Bill which will now be amended suitably before being brought to Parliament during the monsoon session, beginning August 5.

    By not quantifying the amount of compensation the government has moderated its earlier proposal to give a wife “equal” share in marital property. The ministers felt that a judge could decide on the quantum of compensation after taking into account an entire set of considerations such as the disposable income of both husband and wife, conditions like who will bear the primary responsibility of raising the children and claimants on the “inheritable property.”

    If you do not want to live with a Man, why do you want his property?

    Are men returned the favor?

    How many divorced women pay Alimony to their ex Husbands?

    Relationship is about understanding and compromising one with the other.

    If you want to end it, it should be with lock, stock and barrel, not what is convenient,.

    While cases about Men walking out of relationships, Marriages, is widely reported, women indulging in this, never gets reported for the man considers that it is an insult to divulge it and Dog bites Man is not News.

    I know a case, where a woman deliberately pretended to love a  Boy , got married, drugged him with the help of her mother for three years and tried to get his property worth one crore and finally settled for 30 lakhs!..

    If in a relationship, if either wants any thing more than the Relationship, other than Love, Care and Affection, in my dictionary it is, sorry for using this, Prostitution.

    (Desertion , if proved, is a different matter and has to be strictly dealt with by Punishment and Compensation, this applies to both sex).

    The other proposal of granting divorce after three years, even if one party is not willing or has a change of mind, Divorce is to be granted.

    So the aim is to see that the Institution of marriage is broken, no compromise.

    Then why do you have family Courts for Divorces, simply follow ‘Talaq,talaq, talaq’ and be done with it.

    However I am not against Divorces if either the husband or wife is unfaithful , neglectful of the other and embark on cruelty.

    This point is common to bth sex.

    There is a mistaken impression that there is no cruelty being practiced by Women.

    It is erroneous.

    It exists more than one thinks.

    Men do not admit it.

    One of my friend used say that many Men in India go through married Life, because they feel it is their duty to go through it,let me suffer silently.

    In India if men were to go for Divorce for reasons like cruelty by wives,well, about 80% of Marriages would have broken long ago.

    I expect comments like Male Chauvinist Pig‘ ‘Sucking Pig, a Muslim(!?), who brings dishonor to Islam!

    These comments are real and were approved and published in my site.

    * I am not a Divorcee, am happily married with Grand children..

    To me family is the most important institution one has to respect and men have the responsibility of taking car of it, including wife.

    Marriage is not a walkers Association to walk away when you feel like it.

    Wife has to be respected, listened when it is worth not otherwise, to me no compromises just to please, what is in the best interests of the family, will be done.

    There is a Sanskrit slaoka which says,

    ‘Listen to women and children int the Family, take decisions in the interest of the family’

    ‘Do not discuss economic difficulties with Children, Wife and Gussets, they can not understand, you carry the burden”

    I find this to be practical.

    The issue of accepting money from your wife,.

    You take Financial assistance from your wife for the family.

    You had it, you would be reminded and insulted to the end of your Life.

    Ask any man who has taken Money from his wife.

    News Source:

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Now-women-will-get-share-of-husbands-inherited-property-on-divorce/articleshow/21128781.cms

     

     

     

     

  • Live-In Relationship Is Rape, Prostitution?

    A 31-year-old Magistrate was arrested in Tamil nadu for ending the Live-In Relationship with a woman Police Constable after the Police received a complaint from her against he Magistrate for rape and Dowry harassment.

    What is Live-In Relationship.

    ‘

    Couples cohabit, rather than marry, for a variety of reasons. They may want to test their compatibility before they commit to a legal union. They may want to maintain their single status for financial reasons. In some cases, such as those involving gay or lesbian couples, or individuals already married to another person, the law does not allow them to marry. In other cases, the partners may feel that marriage is unnecessary. Whatever the reasons, between 1970 and 1990, the number of couples living together outside of marriage quadrupled, from 523,000 to nearly 3 million. These couples face some of the same legal issues as married couples, as well as some issues that their married friends need never consider.

    In most places, it is legal for unmarried people to live together, although some Zoning laws prohibit more than three unrelated people from inhabiting a house or apartment. A few states still prohibit fornication, or sexual relations between an unmarried man and woman, but such laws are no longer enforced. Even in the early twenty-first century, some states continue to prohibit Sodomy, which includes sexual relations between people of the same sex. Although these laws are rarely enforced, the U. S. Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of these sodomy statutes as applied to same-sex couples in Bowers v. Hardwick, 478 U.S. 186, 106 S. Ct. 2841, 92 L. Ed. 2d 140 (1986). The Court reconsidered the same issue 17 years later, however, and decided that a Texas sodomy law that applied specifically to homosexual conduct violated the due process clause of the Fourteenth Amendment (lawrence v. texas, 539 U.S. ___, 123 S. Ct. 2472,156 L. Ed. 2d 508 [2003]). Advocates of Gay and Lesbian Rights viewed the case as a victory for their cause.”

    ..

    Family Law experts advise cohabiting couples to address these and other issues in a written cohabitation agreement, similar to a Premarital Agreement. The contract should outline how the couple will divide expenses and own property, whether they will maintain joint or separate bank accounts, and how their assets will be distributed if one partner dies or leaves the relationship. Property acquired during cohabitation, such as real estate, home furnishings, antiques, artwork, china, silver, tools, and sports equipment, may be contested if partners separate or if one of them dies. To avoid this, the agreement should clearly outline who is entitled to what.

    When cohabiting couples separate, division of assets often becomes a contentious issue. In the past, courts refused to enforce agreements between unmarried couples to share income or assets, holding that such agreements were against public policy. In 1976, the California Supreme Court decided Marvin v. Marvin, 18 Cal. 3d 660, 134 Cal. Rptr. 815, 557 P.2d 106, holding that agreements between cohabiting couples to share income received during the time they live together can be legally binding and enforceable. The highly publicized suit between actor Lee Marvin and his live-in companion, Michelle Triola Marvin, was the first of a series of “palimony” suits that have become more numerous since the 1980s. The plaintiff in a palimony suit must prove that the agreement of financial support is not a meretricious agreement, that is, one made in exchange for a promise of sexual relations. Courts refuse to enforce meretricious contracts because of their similarity to contracts for prostitution.”

    In the case mentioned, the woman has been living with the Man for quite a few years and now she comes back, after he walks out on her, that he had been raping her and to add spice slapped a Dowry Harassment case against him!

    Siddhart and Shruthi Hasssan
    Image courtesy: BCCL Siddharth and Shruti Haasan have taken their relationship to an all new level. They are so confident about their relationship that they have started living-in to get to know each other better. The couple hasn’t hidden anything from the actress-singer’s father Kamal Haasan and have also got his blessings. When Kamal learnt that the two were intending to take their relationship forward, the progressive father was more than happy to bless the duo.
    Source.idiva.com

    Had she wanted the protection of Law she should have married and registered it.

    Reason is that both wanted to enjoy cohabitation with out the attendant responsibilities of Marriage.

    You can not choose what is convenient for you and ask the Law to come to your rescue,

    Now she also claims rape.

    In the course of her relationship with him, she must have cohabited with him more than once.

    Why did not she scream Rape, after the first instance.

    Because she wanted it and enjoyed it.

    Now that he decides to walk away,fearful of losing economic security, she is calling Rape?

    What is this, if not Prostitution for you seek Money for Sex?

    A woman, any woman, can scream rape after the Act is over, either immediately or  even years later, it seems.

    Unfortunately the Supreme Court Of India has upheld a petition  that a woman from a Live-In Relationship is entitled to the benefits equivalent to that of a woman from a Marriage.(latest case)

    Their Lordships ,in their Wisdom’ did not ask a simple question.

    ” If you want the benefits of Law as applicable to Marriage, why did you not marry?

    But law, as usual, being an Ass, has given an earlier judgement in 2010.as follows.

    ”

    1) The couple must hold themselves out to society as being akin to spouses

    (2) They must be of legal age to marry

    (3) They must be otherwise qualified to enter into a legal marriage including being unmarried

    (4) They must have voluntarily cohabited and held themselves out to the world as being akin to spouses for a significant period of time.

    “In our opinion, not all live-in relationships will amount to a relationship in the nature of marriage to get the benefit of the Act of 2005 (Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act). To get such benefits the conditions mentioned by us above must be satisfied and this has to be proved by evidence.

    “If a man has a ‘keep’ whom he maintains financially and uses mainly for sexual purpose and or as a servant, it would not in our opinion be a relationship in the nature of marriage,” the court said.

    “No doubt the view we are taking would exclude many women who have had a live-in relationship from the benefit of the 2005 Act (Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act) but then it is not for this court to legislate or amend the law. Parliament has used the expression ‘relationship in the nature of marriage’ and not ‘live-in relationship’. The court in the garb of interpretation cannot change the language of the statute,” the bench observed.

    Their Lordships score in trying to be as unambiguous  as possible!

    Excellent!

    Freedom to fornicate without responsibly is not practiced even by the Animals.

    Sources:

    http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Live-in+relationship

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-10-21/india/28261410_1_domestic-violence-act-live-in-relationship-maintenance

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-06-30/chennai/40286028_1_sub-inspector-magistrate-judicial-officers

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  • Time For Brahmins To Change At Least in Marriages

    Brahmin Wedding
    Brahmin Wedding

    Brahmins have been a closely knit community.

    There are other communities which are more closely knit than the Brahmins, say, the Nattukkottai Nagarathar Community.

    As I am a Brahmin by birth, a proud one for being so,I deem it fit to record some unpleasant facts, especially  regarding marriages, in our Community.

    Some of my observations are likely to hurt but some one has to say them.

    I am aware that I will be criticized very severely, for no body is a biter critic of a Brahmin than a fellow Brahmin, much in the same way as the Jews,

    Marriages,

    I searched for an alliance for my son for over three and half years before I got him married.

    I had utilized all avenues from the traditional circulation of Horoscopes to registering in Matrimonial Sites,

    There is a tendency among most of the parents, whose daughter’s are employed, and more so if they have only one daughter:

    That of postponing the marriage of their daughters as long as possible.

    The reasons they cite are,,

    The girl does not want to marry now,

    She needs to be independent for some time, earning well to enable her to stand on her feet,

    The arguments are fallacious.

    No Girl or Boy will come to their parents and declare that they want to marry and ask them to look for a suitable spouse.

    They would be coy in admitting the fact that it is time for them to get married.

    I am excluding those children who come and declare that they are in love with some one(normally with one from another caste: even this I attribute to the fact of parents delaying the marriage on one pretext or another.

    As parents it is our responsibility to advise them the advantages of getting married at an early age, the reasons being,

    a ) If you are looking for the Best looking woman or Man, remember that the opposite side also does the same and each has the privilege of rejecting.

    b) You do not get any younger and it would be tougher to get a match as time marches on.

    And taking  children’s views of not wanting to get married has few serious consequences for parents as well.

    I know of a couple of cases, where the parents have stopped looking for alliances because  their children said so.

    These parents, they are my close friends,took their children’s views seriously and stopped looking for a match.

    Now the boys are past 35.
    They have stopped speaking with their parents thought they stay in the same house and are alright in all other respects.

    As i can closely mingle with the younger set as a friend, this is with my own children as well, I understood from them that they are cross that their parents have not finalised their marriages!

    They are sore that their parents have taken their views seriously!

    Now I am looking for alliances for them along with their parents.

    Lesson- go about alliances notwithstanding your children’s objections and record them.

    If they refuse, show them the records , that would keep them on their toes.

    Another repulsive habit of parents of brides insisting that thee Bride groom must be in the city were the girls’ parents live!

    The girls might agree to it for the time being , would regret later when they find they remain unmarried for  long.

    Children have their lives to led, be it a Boy or Girl.

    Another obnoxious habit is that some parents are reluctant to get their daughters married because they will lose their daughter’s salary!

    This is a fact and I have , in two instances told the parents of the Girls if they want only money they should not have begotten children!

    I may point out a curious fact.

    Please check Tamil matrimony marriage site, find out how many girls’ profile have been uploaded by the Girls themselves/their friends as against the profiles uploaded by Parents.

    You will find personal/friends uploads will be in the age group of over 27.

    The reason is parents keep on refusing Alliances on some spurious ground or another and at the age of 27 or 28 the girl starts taking her life into their hands.

    Avoid this and remember delaying the marriage of a Girl is a very serious Sin , Kanya Paapam that would affect your family for generations, not with standing Sumangali Prarthnais.

    Another issue is refusing sub sect marriages.

    Sub-sects are based on Geographical locations where the ancestors have lived, like Mythili Brahmins hailed from Mithila, Vadamas in Tamil Nadu were from the North of the River Cauvery.

    Some times Brahmin sub-sects are derived from the duties they were adept at. Adigas in Cooking, Vaathimaas in Purohitam,Vajpayees,Somayajees in performing a particular. yaga or yagnya

    Among Brahmins there is no division of States or Languages either.

    We follow the Vedas, period.No differences.

    Let me narrate an incident when I visited Sringeri  and had performed Biksha Vandana for His Holiness Sri Bharathi Theertha Swamigal of The Sringeri Mutt.

    As me and my wife neared the Acharya, the man who normally stands by his side asked me,

    ‘neevu kannadadhvara, Are you from Karnataka?’

    I replied,

    ‘I am  Brahmin’

    The Acharya heard this and asked  me to explain .

    I said,

    ‘ I am a Brahmin by birth, not by Knowledge, but still a Brahmin for my ancestors have been good Brahmins .

    My Mother tongue is Tamil,

    As a Brahmin my father tongue is Sanskrit.

    Therefore, it does not matter for a Brahmin which State he belongs to because He is a Brahmin”

    The Acharya called the man and said,

    ‘Yajnayopaveeda aaki barubavarathra eethara kelu beda,

    Do not these questions of those who come here with Yagnyopaveeda”(Sacred Thread)

    That’s it.

    Do not look for same sects, State, Language.

    A Brahmin will do.

    I observe that people conduct reception before the wedding day.

    This is wrong.

    If some one of the pair dies after Reception before marriage, what is the status of either of them?

    The habit of clapping of hands after Mangalya Dharana, it is prohibited.

    The habit of shaking hands with the couple after Mangalya Dharana  before Aseervatha is a Taboo.

    In Hinduism . the ‘Handing Over’ Panigrahana is Sacred and the hands of the couple are not to be touched by others till Aseervatha.

    Some more thoughts might follow.

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  • Hindu Wedding Rituals Vratham Kankana Nandi Kasi Yatra Detail

    kankana Dharanam,Hindu Wedding ceremony.
    Kankan Dharana

    Please read my post on the components of the Hindu marriage.

    Link provided towards the end of the post.

    Kankana Dharanam.

    On the wedding day,after Vigneswara Puja, Vratham is performed.

    The wedding ceremonies start with the Vratham that is observed separately by the groom and the bride.

    The Vratha is a ceremony where a vow is taken to go through the marriage and is performed by  the Bridegroom

    The marriage ceremonies begin with the Vratham performed separately by the bride and the groom. For the bride, it means the tying of the KAPPU – the holy thread on her wrist which is meant to ward off all evil spirits. It symbolises a kind of the protective armour for the bride. For the groom, the various Gods – Indra, Soma, Chandra, Agni. From there on, the groom prepares himself for a new chapter in his life as a householder or Grihasta. The days of his bachelorhood or brahmacharya are now over and the acceptance of this is all what the Vratham is about.

    In this ceremony, a cotton thread (applied with Turmeric powder) is tied to the wrist of the Bride and groom, indicating the vow to get married and declaring that they would not be deterred from the wedding ceremony and it is removed a couple of days after the wedding.

    “the important ceremony called
    kankana \ For this purpose they obtain two pieces of
    saffron or turmeric, round which they tie a double thread.
    They place on a metal dish two handfuls of rice, and on
    this rice a cocoanut painted yellow, and on the cocoanut
    the two pieces of saffron. Prayers are offered to all the
    gods collectively, who are implored to come and place
    themselves on this kankana, and to remain there till the
    five days of the marriage ceremony have been accomplished.
    The bridegroom then takes one of the pieces of saffron and
    ties it on his wife’s left wrist, who in her turn ties the
    other piece on his right wrist. The rice and cocoanut on
    which the kankana has been lying are then given to the
    purohita.

    Then follows the procession of the tutelary deity. The
    mother of the bride, accompanied by the other women
    and the Brahmins who are present, go and fetch the copper
    vase which represents the ishta-devata. The women begin
    to sing and the musicians to play, and forming a procession
    they march to the end of the street, where, after choosing
    a clean spot, they pour out some of the water contained in
    the vase. They do puja to the deity while it rests on the
    ground, and then it is taken back with the same pomp to
    the place whence it came. Then follows the most important

    1 The ceremony is actually called kankana-dharana, that is, the tying
    or wearing of the kankana.

    Nandi.

    This is performed to propitiate the Ancestors nd the Nadi Devatas.

    After the completion of Ganesh Puja on the wedding day, several other Gods are worshipped. These Gods are known as Nandi Devatas.

    Who are Nandi Devatas?

    The Nandi Devatas are the holy Pitris, who live in the lokas of Bhuvash and Suvah. They are the builders of the subtle bodies, Sukshmadeha, around which physical atoms aggregate to produce the physical body. As the objects of marriage are the maintenance of the Grihastha Dharma and the begetting of progeny with spiritual, not carnal tendencies, the co-operation of the PitriDevatas is essential.

    To propitiate the Nandi Devatas, a leaf-laden branch of the pipal tree is set up. Five Sumangalis (married women) would then wash the installed branch with milk. The ritual is followed by gifting clothes to the bride and the groom. Generally, the bride is presented a saree while a traditional dhoti is gifted to the groom as part of the auspiciousness.

    Nandi Srardham, Part of Hindu Wedding ceremony.
    Nandi Srardham

     

    These PitriDevatas are not beings to be trifled with, and they are beings who generally avoid the physical plane of the Universe, the Bhurloka, and they should be sent away from the physical world as soon as the business for which they are invited is over. Nor are they to be invited frequently.

    In an ideal Nandi Srardha, 12 Brahmins are invited, Dhotis and Angavastras are ditributed, their feet washed amidst the chsning of the Srardha Mantras.

    Kasi Yatra.

    In Hinduism a Man has Four Stations in Life,

    Brahmacharya, the Ceibate,

    The Grihastha, The Married,

    The Vanaprastha, the detachment state, and

    The Sanyasin, The Renounced State.

    Boys aged 5 are anointed with Upanayana(read my post on this ceremony) and sent to a Guru for the Adhyayana or the repeated learning of the Vedas.

    When they reach the age of 13 they are married.

    Now the  marriageable age has changed.

    When the boy comes of age for Marriage,after the Vratham, Kankana Dharanam and Nandi, the Boy goes to Kasi(Benares, Varanasi ,the Holy City of The Hindus, to meditate on the Brahman, The Reality.(Symbolically)

    The bride’s father intervenes and requests the Bridegroom not to undertake the trip,become a Grihastha as Grihathaasrama is the fundamental Stage of Dharma or the Path of Righteousness, and offers his daughter in Marriage , promising that she will be his soul mate in performing the Vediac rituals that would guarantee spiritual enlightenment.

    This is Kasi Yatra.

    kasi Yatra, Hindu wedding ceremony.
    Kasi Yatra

    Now comes the muhurta, that is to say, the most essential
    ceremony of the marriage. To begin with, a sacrifice is
    offered to Vigneshwara. The bride and bridegroom are
    seated on the earthen dais, their faces towards the east,
    and the married women proceed, singing the while, with
    the young people’s toilette, which is of the most elegant
    and sumptuous description. When attired the bridegroom
    rises, performs the sam-kalpa, prays to the gods to pardon
    all the sins he has committed since he received the triple
    cord ; and, to be the more sure of this pardon, he recites
    a mantram, and gives fifteen fanams to a Brahmin as alms.
    He then dresses himself up as a pilgrim, and makes all
    preparations as if he were really going to take a long
    journey, announcing that he is going to start on a holy

    222 THE KAXKAXA CEREMONY

    pilgrimage to Kasi, that is Benares. He leaves the house
    accompanied by the married women singing in chorus, and
    by his parents and friends, and preceded by instruments of
    music. After passing the outskirts of the village he turns
    his steps to the east.

    But here his future father-in-law meets him, and asks
    him where he is going, and on learning the object of his
    journey, begs him to give it up. He tells him that he has
    a young virgin daughter, and that if he wishes it he will
    give her to him in wedlock. The pilgrim accepts the pro-
    posal with joy, and returns with his escort to the place
    whence he set out. On his return the women perform the
    ceremony of the aratti.

    Source:

    http://www.ebooksread.com/authors-eng/j-a-jean-antoine-dubois/hindu-manners-customs-and-ceremonies-obu/page-24-hindu-manners-customs-and-ceremonies-obu.shtml

    http://www.sanathanadharma.com/wedding.htm

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    http://ramanisblog.in/2012/07/17/an-introduction-to-samskarashindu-rites/