Tag: Emotion

  • Thank You My Son

    Many People often leave the world without thanking those who deserve it.

    One of the fundamentals of any religion is gratitude.

    Thirukkural says,

    எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வுண்டாம் உய்வில்லை
    செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு.

    எந்நன்றி கொன்றார்க்கும் உய்வு உண்டாம் – பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தார்க்கும் பாவத்தின் நீங்கும் வாயில் உண்டாம்; செய்ந்நன்றி கொன்ற மகற்கு உய்வு இல்லை – ஒருவன் செய்த நன்றியைச் சிதைத்த மகனுக்கு அஃது இல்லை. (பெரிய அறங்களைச் சிதைத்தலாவது, ஆன்முலை அறுத்தலும், மகளிர் கருவினைச் சிதைத்தலும், பார்ப்பார்த்தப்புதலும் (புறநா.34) முதலிய பாதகங்களைச் செய்தல். இதனால் செய்ந்நன்றி கோறலின் கொடுமை கூறப்பட்டது.).

    There is no salvation for those who forget  Gratitude.

    Here I do not take the meaning of Parimel Azhakar for the word ‘Makarkku’ meaning son, but the meaning people.

    Often in Life we do not adequately thank people.

    It is a slur on the Soul.

    I am not very demonstrative in showing my emotions, even to my children.

    I am of the view that love for the others would be felt by those who are loved .

    They need not be vocalized.

    But I belong to old school where the term Love was not even uttered in relationships and they were/are a part of the Being.

    My father was the least emotional Man I have come across.

    He would never express himself.

    But Psychologists would say repressed emotions might lead to stress.

    But my father was never stressed.

    When my paternal grandfather died , his body was lying, my father was sitting an as Easy chair displaying no emotion.

    I was around 12 or 13 then.

    I remember asking him as to why he was not crying as others, he  replied if some one would guarantee that his father would come back alive , he would definitely cry!

    When my mother died, with whom my father has lived for over 50 years, he just woke me up at the dead of the night, told me’

    ‘Your mother just died, you go to sleep and we shall see in the morning!

    But , after the death of my mother, my father who weighed at 130 Kg.came down to 65 in a matter of six months.

    During this period he  never spoke a word about my mother.

    Probably I belong to those people who never exhibit emotions.

    My Daughter in law says that I am the most  unromantic person she has ever seen!

    Many of my friends say that I am cold.

    Excepting to those whom I am close with.

    Notwithstanding this, it is time I record my sentiments, though my son would say sentiments are non sense.

    But isn’t Life all about all sentiments?

    I may not be expressive but I know that sentiments make one live through the Life.

    My son is very sensitive and never expresses himself.

    He is more rational, according to him.

    But behind this veneer I can detect the undercurrent of affection, love.

    He is close to the family, that’s all.

    And we are close as Friends.

    He has been  taking responsibility of the Family from the time he was 17.

    He never interfered.

    He let me do things my way, despite some objections by him,

    He has made my retired life pleasant by enabling me do things I wanted to do but could not during my working days.

    He never lets me worry about anything.

    Doing research in Hinduism.

    The comfort he gives me gives me time and vigor to do what I want to do.

    I have never appreciated him because I believe, as the Sastras say,never praise your children, point out their faults’

    Parenting is not for popularity .

    It is for their welfare.

    I wish I could have done more for my son.

    I could not.

    I am sorry.

    I have never expressed my appreciation of him, though I am proud of him.

    As I near my death, I am running 65 years, I would not like to depart without saying how much I thank him and love him.

    Thank you Anand, my son.

    Wish I had been as good a Father as you have been /are a son!

  • Seven Ages Of Man And Woman

    Those who know English would not have missed  enjoying Shakespeare,.

    If ever a Poet/Dramatist were to be found who could mirror emotions in simple powerful words it is the Bard of Avon.

    I have some post on him.

    Da Vinci Mona Lisa.
    Mona Lisa

    The most famous of his lines in As You Like It‘ on the Stages of Man is a piece in itself.

    I am reproducing this with out comments or explanations for in my view Shakespeare is best enjoyed with out some body disturbing.( excepting some like Bradley)

    “All the world’s a stage,
    And all the men and women merely players:
    They have their exits and their entrances;
    And one man in his time plays many parts,
    His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
    Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
    And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
    And shining morning face, creeping like snail
    Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
    Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
    Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
    Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
    Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
    Seeking the bubble reputation
    Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
    In fair round belly with good capon lined,
    With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
    Full of wise saws and modern instances;
    And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
    Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
    With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
    His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
    For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
    Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
    And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
    That ends this strange eventful history,
    Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
    Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”

    If Shakespeare could do it,Tamil could do it better, in classifying the Chronological Age of man and Woman.

    Tamil , a Language of antiquity, alive and kicking well, has made Life into an Art by its literature and its classification of Life in its Grammar.

    Tamils have divide Life into two parts, one that deals with external activities expressed outwards, like War,Arguments,Valor,Philanthropy, called Puram(The term means ‘outside’).

    Another is Aham(inside) which deals with emotions like Love, Despair.

    Under Aham the chronological Age of Man and Woman has been taken to classify Ages.

    பெண்களின் ஏழு பருவங்கள்:-(Seven Ages of Woman)

    * 1 வயது முதல் 8 வயது வரை – பேதை-1-8 Pedha, an age when one does not know to distinguish things.
    * 9 வயது முதல் 10 வயது வரை – பெதும்பை-9-10,Pedhubmai, can differentiate but not very clear.
    * 11 வயது முதல் 14 வயது வரை – மங்கை-10-14,Mangai, has attained womanhood, but yet to fall in Love.
    * 15 வயது முதல் 18 வயது வரை – மடந்தை14-18,Madanthai. has started to develop feelings of Love.
    * 19 வயது முதல் 24 வயது வரை – அரிவை-19-24Arivai,has attained an Age where one has gone through the process of Love,separation.
    * 25 வயது முதல் 29 வயது வரை – தெரிவை-25-29,Therivai, has loved, successful, or lost but  knows Life.
    * 30 வயதுக்கு மேல் – பேரிளம் பெண்-30+,has seen it all, either a Spinster,( mostly), mature.

    ஆண்களின் ஏழு பருவங்கள்:(Seven Ages of Man).

    * 1 வயது முதல் 7 வயது வரையிலான பருவம் – பாலன்-Balan,1-7 as in Woman.
    * 8 வயது முதல் முதல் 10 வயது வரையிலான பருவம் – மீளி, Meeli,8-10 Forgetful yet can recall.
    * 11 வயது முதல் 14 வயது வரையிலான பருவம் – மறவோன்11-14,Maravon,Fighter, does not forget.
    *15 வயதிற்குண்டான பருவம் – திறவோன்-Thiravon,15 Years,Capable.
    *16 வயதிற்குண்டான பருவம் – விடலை, Vidalai 16, Irresponsible in all walks of Life.
    *17 வயது முதல் 30 வரையிலான பருவம் – காளை ,Kaalai, 16,Responsible in all affairs, including Life.
    * 30 வயதுக்கு மேலான பருவம் – முதுமகன்.Mudhumagan,30+ .Mature.

    Note that the stages of Man stops for Man after 14 Years and characteristics change year by year.

    But women stay steadfast, relatively, which is a fact.

    The names given to each stage expresses the meaning explained,

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  • Make Friends With Fear

    The other night I was in bed at night with my Grandson, 4.

     

    Whenever I go to my daughter’s house he sleeps with me.

     

    He asked me ‘Boss Thatha)(Boss Grand Father, that’s how he calls me, his logic I call him Boss,

     

    ” I am scared of Night,Drive it away’

     

    I asked him,

     

    ‘Who is your best frined?

     

    Boss Thatha,

     

    Are you afraid of him ,

     

    No,

     

    Night is also your friend, you be friends with him,he will give ou nice dreams, give you chocolates, Ice cream’

     

    Next morning , he told me,

     

    ‘he is a good friend, he gave me Cars also’

     

    This is what Fear is all about.

     

    People worry about Health because they are afraid.

    Fear.
    Fear.

    What is there to be afraid of?

     

    If you have to fall sick, you shall.

     

    Take Medicines when you fall sick, that’s all.

     

    Most , nay all , of our fears are due to imagination.

     

    We have a tendency to imagine the worst possible scenario.

     

    I am not going to talk about positive Thought mumbo jumbo.

     

    Keep it simple, look at the Child.

     

    It accepts things as they are, unless you tell him otherwise.

     

    It is said do what you fear most, Fear will disappear.

     

    Fear is an Ally.

     

    It makes you stay focussed,better prepared,

     

    Use it to your advantage.

     

    Students are afraid of examinations, Doctors of Surgery,Lawyers in Court,Young  of Jobs/future, old of Death.

     

    Leave things Be, handle them as they come.

     

    You will be surprised how you handle them, when you have this mindset.

     

    Death!

     

    If you think deeply there are only two points over which one is worried about Death.

     

    1.The uncertainty over  what would happen after Death.

     

    Notwithstanding the Religious Literature, we can not confirm it.

     

    Accept it as we would Taxes and Price Rise.

     

    2.The pain associated with Death.

    Even here we do not know as who have died can not confirm.

     

    Remember that the Body, as we know now, becomes unconscious when the Pain becomes unbearable and we become blissfully unaware of anything afterwards.

     

    Let’s take it that way.

     

    Face Life as it comes , do not think about it.

     

     

  • Stress,Analysis-Causes and management.part 1.

    Stress is organism‘s defense mechanism to enable it to survive.

    Without Stress ,organisms will not be to bring out the best in them, react appropriately.

    Inappropriate reaction may lead to the extinction of Life.

    When one fights for air,water and other basic needs the urgency is felt and the organism reacts and it is basically instinctive.

    Related:

    Stress has both a psychological and physiological effect. Psychologically it affects our emotions causing such things as anger, frustration, fear, burnout, anxiety and depression. Physiologically, stress increases the risk of everything from warts to cancer.

    People tend to mistake Stress for Anxiety, which is detrimental to health.

    Anxiety is a conscious deliberation of the events, course of action one is about to perform or has already performed.

    Stress is that which drives  to take a course of action which you can not avoid.

    Origins of Stress.

    Man is driven by instincts.

    Instincts become Feelings and feelings  turn into Emotions.

    Emotions fortified  withWill become actions and repeated Actions become a Habit.

    There are

    Instincts of Survival,

    Thirst,

    Hunger,

    Sex  and

    Gregariousness.

    These are indicated  above in the order of priority to the Organism.
    When there is a clash of Instincts(which happens at all times during Life) among themselves ,Conflict arises.

    These Conflicts are resolved by the organism on the basis of priority to ensure its survival.

    For instance, if there is a choice before a Man Water and Food when he is both Thirsty and Hungry, he will choose Water.

    Similarly when there is clash between Hunger and Thirst ,Thirst will score.

    While resolving these Conflicts, the organism is torn between the instincts and we feel the Stress.

    Normally Stress is resolved biologically by the Organism.

    But the Cognitive instrument we call the Mind  starts analyzing and it causes anxiety.

    We completely forget that in the battle between the Heart and Mind Heart always wins.

    We presume that Mind does.

    Therefore the essential problem  does not concern Stress per se  but our cognition of it.

    Mind is the instrument.

    One needs to train the Mind to manage Stress.

    Eradicating Stress is not possible.

    Stress will cease ony when we die.

    But we can manage Stress by Simple Practices.

    More on this subject follows.

    Related:

    Stress has both a psychological and physiological effect. Psychologically it affects our emotions causing such things as anger, frustration, fear, burnout, anxiety and depression. Physiologically, stress increases the risk of everything from warts to cancer.

    http://hullonline.wordpress.com/2011/03/07/change-your-reaction-to-stress/

    Stress and anxiety become serious problems when triggered too frequently, for too long or by situations that do not pose a particular threat or challenge.

    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/health/sometimes-you-need-some-stress-in-your-life/article1917866/?cmpid=rss1

    Z9T5U8WKHG7U




  • If you have tears, shed them now,mechanism , science of of tears

    Tears flow when in physical pain,eyes are irritated or when in mental stress.

    Tears have anti-bacterial properties that ward off infection.When eyes are irritated they flow to expel the foreign object out.

    Under Physical pain, the tears flow, triggered by the secretion of Adrenalin(or is it the other way?) as a Defense mechanism.It conveys the Universal message of  ‘I am under pain,please understand/help’.

    It also helps to reduce mental strain.

    Shedding tears , we have been told since time immemorial, is not manly.Wrong.It is natural for men as well. Nothing wrong in crying under strain.

    Story:Emotional crying is a universal, uniquely human behavior. When we cry, we clearly send all sorts of emotional signals. In aWeizmann Institute have demonstrated that some of these signals paper published online today in Science Express, scientists at the are chemically encoded in the tears themselves. Specifically, they found that merely sniffing a woman’s tears – even when the crying woman is not present — reduces sexual arousal in men.

    This undated handout photo provided by the journal Science shows a donor woman watching sad films in isolation, using a mirror to capture tears into a vial. If a crying woman’s red nose isn’t a big enough turnoff to a man, a surprising experiment found another reason: Tears of sadness may temporarily lower his testosterone level. (AP Photo/Science)

    Human emotional crying was especially puzzling to Charles Darwin, who identified functional antecedents to most emotional displays — for example, the tightening of the mouth in disgust, which he thought originated as a response to tasting spoiled food. But the original purpose of emotional tears eluded him. The current study has offered an answer to this riddle: Tears may serve as a chemosignal. Sobel points out that some rodent tears are known to contain such chemical signals. “The uniquely  of emotional tearing may not be so uniquely human after all,”