‘”Our Father in heaven,hallowed be your name.Your kingdom come,your will be done,on earth as it is in heaven.Give us this day our daily bread,and forgive us our debts,as we also have forgiven our debtors.And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from evil.”
Latin Liturgical version.
Pater noster, qui es in caelis:sanctificetur Nomen Tuum;adveniat Regnum Tuum;fiat voluntas Tua,sicut in caelo, et in terra.Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie;et dimitte nobis debita nostra,sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris;et ne nos inducas in tentationem;sed libera nos a Malo”
Hindu Sastras declare that eating Food without offering to God first amounts to Stealing.
Another reason is that food which is made of natural Resources contain impurities.
( now we have chemicals as well)
The food we eat is the result of the toils of many.
We do not know what they have gone through to produce and we are not sure whether they have been adequately compensated.
Their anguish will affect the their produce.
When we offer food to God, He takes away the impurities and the consequences born out of anger and anguish of the producer.
After all, we are because of what we think and what we think is because of what we eat.
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Naivedhya (Sanskrit: नैवेध्य) a Sanskrit word meaning supplication, is food offered to a Hindu deity as part of a worship ritual, before eating it. As such, tasting during preparation or eating the food before offering it to God is forbidden. The food is placed before a deity and prayers are offered. Then the food is consumed as a holy offering. The offerings may include cooked food, sugar cones, and fruits. Mostly, vegetarian food alone is offered to the deity and later distributed to the devotees who are present in the temple. Great care is taken when food is cooked for the deity. For some tribal-gods like Kali, animals, such as goats or roostersare slaughtered in the temple precincts and offered. Many orthodox Hindus offer cooked food or some fruits to a picture or idol of a deity before they eat it.
Naivedhya is not necessarily a food offering to God and actually means ‘offering to God’ in the stricter sense of the words. It could be any offering, tangible or intangible. A resolution, a promise or even a willingness to do, perform or restrict from certain things can also be connoted as offering to God.
God, prayers and wishes are more a belief and hence an offering to God is an extension of this belief. However, one needs to differentiate Naivedhya from ‘Prasad‘. Prasad is actually what one get from the God. The meaning of these words is usually attributed to food as we invariably offer to and receive from the house of Gods in the form of eatables.
A portrayal of Vyasa, who classified the Vedas in to four parts, and author of the Mahabharata, which includes the widely read Bhagavad Gita. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Hinduism , as Dr.Radhakrishanan put it, is a ‘ not a view of Life but a way of Life’.
The duties of the individuals are so naturally practised that many do not seem to know what they are all about.
Hinduism demarcated the Life of an Individual into Four parts.
During the Brahmacharya the individual is made to learn all the aspects of the Vedas, not merely the Ascetic aspects but also the mans of livelihood which come under the Vedas.Thetse include Archery,Politics,Grammar,Linguistics,Agriculture, Trade Craft,Astronomy,Astrology.
During the grihastha period, one performs the Duties enjoined on the House holder, which includes Social Service.
In Vanaprastha, one retires int he true sense of the term by non-interference and by meditation.
In Sanyasa, Man relinquishes all belongings and concentrates on Liberation.
Basic Rites to be performed by an individual are indicated for each stage.
These Samskaras are applicable to all Varnas, all people except the Sudras( Sudras meaning and duties will be dealt with in a separate blog).
Varnas are determined on the basis of Dispositions or Natural tendencies.
There are Forty Samskaras .
There is a controversy that there are only Fourteen Samskaras.
I will be dealing in detail with Forty Samskaras.
The resources are from the Smriti , ancient texts and regular practices followed by the Hindus.
One good source is the book Forty Samskaras by Sri. Srivatsa V.Somadeva Sarma,which has been approved by Kanchi Periyavar.
The Publishers are Sri Surabhi Sadhabdi Publications, Lakeview Road, West Mambalam,Chennai 600033( opposite TNSC Bank
Rita and John’s Marriage Certificate (Photo credit: mary hodder)
The details regarding the Registration of Marriages are as under.
For additional details please check with the Registrar, or Sub-Registrar of your city
‘Q1. What is the procedure for Solemnization of marriage / Registration of marriage?
i. Procedure for Registration under HMA.
ii. Procedure for Registration under SMA.
iii. Procedure for Solemnization of marriage under SMA.
Q. Where do I have to go and during which hours?
To the office of Additional Divisional Magistrate in whose jurisdiction any of the husband or wife resides, during 9.30 a.m. to 1.00 p.m. on any working day. The office is located in the DC office complex on main Mehrauli Badarpur Road and near Anupam Appt. for assistance of public, recption counter is manned during the offical hours for proper guidance. Necessary forms can also be obtained from Reception Counter or can be downloaded from this site.
Q. Which papers/documents/fees, do I have to take with me?
1. Hindhu/Special marriage Application form duly signed by both husband and wife. 2. Hindhu/Special marriage Documentary evidence of date of birth of parties (Matriculation Certificate / Passport / Birth Certificate) Minimum age of both parties is 21 years at the time of registration under the Special Marriage Act. 3.Residential proof of husband and wife . 4.In case of Special Marriage Act, documentary evidence regarding stay in Delhi of the parties for more than 30 days (ration card or report from the concerned SHO). 5. Hindhu marriage Affidavit by both the parties stating place and date of marriage, date of birth, marital status at the time of marriage and nationality. 6.Two Hidhu/Special marriage passport size photographs of both the parties and one marriage photograph. 7.Marriage invitation Hidhu marriage card, if available. 8. Hidhu marriage If marriage was solemnized in a religious place, a certificate from the priest is required who solemnized the marriage. 9.Rs. 10/- in case of Hindu Marriage Act and Rs.15/- in case of Special Marriage Act to be deposited with the cashier of District and the receipt should be attached with the application form. 10.Affirmation that the parties are not related to each other within the prohibited degree of relationship as per Hindu Marriage Act or Special Marriage Act as the case may be. For details of such relationships Click here. 11.Attested copy of divorce decree/order in case of a divorcee and death certificate of spouse in case of widow/widower. 12.In case one of the parties belong to other than Hindu, Budhist, Jain and Sikh religions, a conversion certificate from the priest who solemnized the marriage(in case of Hindu Marriage Act). 13. In case one of the parties is a foreign national, no objection certificate/marital Status certificate from the concerned embassy.
All documents excluding receipt should be attested by a Gazetted Officer.
Q. What will be the criteria used while deciding my case?
A) Hindu Marriage Act
Verification of all the documents is carried out on the date of application and a day is fixed and communicated to the parties for registration. On the said day, both parties, alongwith a Gazetted Officer who attended their marriage, need to be present before the ADM. The Certificate is issued on the same day
B) Special Marriage Act
Both parties are required to be present after submission of documents for issuance of public notice inviting objections. One copy of notice is pasted on the notice board of the office and copy of the notice is sent by registered post to marriage officer of the area where either of the parties having present/permenent address. Registration is done 30 days after the date of notice after deciding any objection that may have been received during that period by the ADM. Both parties alongwith three witnesses are required to be present on the date of registration/Solemenzation. For filing objection, register is available with the Dealing Assistant in the office of ADM(S).
Q. Are the advocates required for registration/ Solemenization.
Both the registration under HMA & SMA and solemenization of marriage under SMA is a very simple procedure and doesnot required any LEGAL HELP / ASSISSTANCE. It is advised that parties should present their case directly.
Q. What are the relevant Forms?
One copy of notice is pasted on the notice board of the office and copy of the notice is sent by registered post to marriage officer of the area where either of the parties having present/permenent address.
Q. When will I get a response?
In case of Hindhu Marriage Act, at the time of filing duly completed application form, a due date vide acknowledgement of receipt of application form is given . On that date necessary formalities can be completed. In case of registration / solemnization of marriage under Special Marriage Act, notice of 30 days after appearance of both the parties the marriage officer is mandatory. Once the application alongwith the prescribed document is presented, the date for appearance before the marriage officer is given vide acknowledgement
Solemnisation of Marriage under Special Marriage Act
Special Marriage Act, 1954 provides for solemnisation of marriages in accordance with the provisions of the Act. SDMs/ADMs/Deputy Commissioners have been authorised as Marriage Officers for this purpose.
Q. What will be the criteria used while deciding my case?
For solemnization of marriage, presence of both parties is required after submission of documents of issuance of notice of intended marriage. A copy of the notice is pasted on the office notice board by the ADM. Any person may within 30 days of issue of notice , file objection to the intended marriages. In such a case, the SDM shall not solemnise the marriage until he has decided the objection, within 30 days of its receipt. If the ADM refuses to solemnise the marriage, any of the parties may file an appeal within 30 days to the District Court. In case no objection is received, the ADM solemnises the marriage after 30 days of the notice. Both parties alongwith 3 witnesses are required to be present on the date of solemnisation of marriage. It is advisable to submit names of witnesses atleast one day in advance.
Degree of Prohibited relationship as per the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955
Section 3 (f):
i.”Sapinda relationship” with reference to any person extends as far as the third generation (inclusive) in the line of ascent through the mother, and the fifth (inclusive) in the line of ascent through the father, the line being traced upwards in each case from the person concerned, who is to be counted as the first generation;
ii.two persons are said to “sapindas” of each other if one is a lineal ascendant of the other within the limits of sapinda relationship, or if they have a common lineal ascendant who is within the limits of sapinda relationship with reference to each of them;8
Section 3 (g):
“degrees of prohibited relationship” – two persons are said to be within the “degrees of prohibited relationship” –
i.if one is a lineal ascendant of the other; or ii.if one was the wife or husband of a lineal ascendant or descendant of the other; or iii.if one was the wife of the brother or the father’s or mother’s brother or of the grandfather’s or grandmother’s brother of the other; or iv.if the two are brother and sister, uncle and niece, aunt and nephew, or children of brother and sister or of two brothers or of two sisters;
Explanation – For the purposes of clauses 3(f) and 3(g), relationship includes –
i.relationship by half or uterine blood as well as by full blood; ii.illegitimate blood relationship as well as legitimate; iii.relationship by adoption as well as by blood;
and all terms of relationship in those clauses shall be construed accordingly.
Degrees of Prohibited relationship as per the Special Marriage Act, 1954
Section 2 (b):
“Degrees of prohibited relationship” – a man and any of the persons mentioned in Part I of the First Schedule and a woman and any of the persons mentioned in Part II of the said Schedule are within the degrees of prohibited relationship.
Explanation (I) – Relationship includes, —
a.relationship by half or uterine blood as well as by full blood; b.illegitimate blood relationship as well as legitimate; c.relationship by adoption as well as by blood;
and all terms of relationship in this Act shall be construed accordingly.
Explanation (II) – “Full blood” and “half blood” – two persons are said to be related to each other by full blood when they are descended from a common ancestor by the same wife and by half blood when they are descended from a common ancestor but by different wives.
Explanation (III) – “Uterine blood” – two persons are said to be related to each other by uterine blood when they are descended from a common ancestress but by different husbands.
Explanation (IV) – In Explanations II and III, “ancestor” includes the father and “ancestress” the mother;
Sections:
CHAPTER-I
PRELIMINARY
1. Short title, extent and commencement
2. Definitions
CHAPTER-II
REGISTRATION OF MARRIAGES
3. Every marriage to be registered
4. Appointment of Registrar of Marriages, etc
5. Memorandum of Marriages
6. Memorandum of marriage submitted after thirty days, etc.
7. Register to be open for public inspection
8. Non-registration not to invalidate the marriage.
CHAPTER-III
DOWRY
9. Giving or taking of dowry prohibited
10. Agreement for giving or taking dowry to be void.
11. Dowry to be for the benefit of the wife or her heirs
CHAPTER-IV
LUXURY MARRIAGE TAX
12. Levy of luxury marriage tax
13. Levy and collection of marriage tax
CHAPTER-V
INTER –CASTE MARRIAGES
14. Inter-Caste marriage
CHAPTER-VI
CERTAIN RESTRICTIONS
I had been to Rameswaram, a Pilgrim centre, which is considered holy for the Hindus.
While travelling back to Chennai, I got to talking to a gentleman in the Train.
He said he was looking for an alliance for his son.
In Hindu custom, the parents look for girls or boys to get their children married.
They look for the family back ground,Gothra(genealogy, a unique concept which traces out your ancestors and excludes blood relatives who might be brothers/sisters however far removed-this is verified scientifically)
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The word “gotra” means “lineage” in the Sanskrit language. Among those of the Brahmincaste, gotras are reckoned patrilineally. Each gotra takes the name of a famous Rishi or sage who was the patrilineal forebearer of that clan. And each Gotra is addressed by the suffix ‘sa’ or ‘asa’ as relevant.
The concept of Gotra was the sociodemographic-cultural coding by Brahma to classify His family, themselves among different groups. At the beginning, these gentes identified themselves by the names of various rishis (Angirasa, Daksha, Himavan, Atri, Gautam, Vishrava, Kashyapa, Bhrigu, Vasishtha, Kutsa,and Bharadwaja; the first seven of these are often enumerated as Saptarishis). It is to be noted that Vishwamitra was initially a Kshatriya king, who later chose and rose to become an ascetic rishi. Hence the gotra was applied to the grouping stemming from one of these rishis as his descendants.
Humans have 23 pairs of Chromosomes and in each pair one Chromosome comes from the father and the other comes from the mother. So in all we have 46 Chromosomes in every cell, of which 23 come from the mother and 23 from the father.
Of these 23 pairs, there is one pair called the Sex Chromosomes which decide the gender of the person. During conception, if the resultant cell has XX sex chromosomes then the child will be a girl and if it is XY then the child will be a boy. X chromosome decides the female attributes of a person and Y Chromosome decides the male attributes of a person.
When the initial embryonic cell has XY chromosome, the female attributes get suppressed by the genes in the Y Chromosome and the embryo develops into a male child. Since only men have Y Chromosomes, son always gets his Y Chromosome from his father and the X Chromosome from his mother. On the other hand daughters always get their X Chromosomes, one each from both father and mother.
So the Y Chromosome is always preserved throughout a male lineage (Father – Son – Grandson etc) because a Son always gets it from his father, while the X Chromosome is not preserved in the female lineage (Mother, Daughter, Grand Daughter etc) because it comes from both father and mother.
A mother will pass either her mother’s X Chromosome to her Children or her father’s X Chromosome to her children or a combination of both because of both her X Chromosomes getting mixed (called as Crossover). On the other hand, a Son always gets his father’s Y Chromosome and that too almost intact without any changes because there is no corresponding another Y chromosome in his cells to do any mixing as his combination is XY, while that of females is XX which hence allows for mixing as both are X Chromosomes.”
In addition to this, parents look into Horoscopes and decide how the marriage is to be conducted.
Of course the Boy/girl will have a say in this.
However this old system is fast disappearing.
Gone are the days when parents circulate their children’s horoscopes through their friends/Relatives and through their family astrologer.
Now people advertise in Marriage portals.
The gentleman was expressing his difficulties in getting a Girl for his son as the Girls seem to be making impossible terms in their expectations.
I can vouch for this.
I have spent nearly four years in getting my son married.
He is B.Com, MBA,Soft ware Specialist in a Senior position and we have no commitments to be fulfilled at home as my only daughter is married and there are no other children for me.
I found,in the marriage portal, under’ expectations’ Girls/Girls’ parents listed the following.
Should be an Engineer, preferably in Communications/Electronics
Should be an IT Professional
Must draw a salary of not less than 7.2lakhs/a.
Preferable that there are no brothers and sisters
Placed in Metros
Should be in a transferable job
Willing to relocate to the Girl’s home town/where she works.
( The sting, I shall come later at the end of the blog.)
I wonder how people who are not IT specialists and those who are not in the specified Income Group ever get married!-leave alone the other terms!
Of course I got my son married to a suitable girl whose family did not have funny hang ups like these.
The details of Girls to be married , who were less than 26 years of age were uploaded by parents while for those above 26 years of age were uploaded by the Girl herself or brother \sister.
In the process of selecting the girl.I have come across various instances where the parents were unwilling to get the girl married quoting irrelevant reasons( in one case a parent told me that he had deferred his daughter ‘s marriage temporarily, and I asked him if this decision permanent!)
The reason is that the parents have accustomed themselves to the girl earning and the parents have become used to living off her and were unwilling to get her married.
This may sound cynical ,but unfortunately this is a fact.
The parents thus dispose of enquiries for marriage informing their daughter that the alliance is not good.
One day the girl finds that she is over 26 and she is not getting married and uploads her details and enters into the fray.
How sad!
(In the selection process I have short listed 3300 horoscopes, no error here, to find a suitable match, normally I select one in 10 based on compatibility including Horoscope).
The gentleman brought home a curious instance where the girl/parents of the girl asked him whether the Boy had Old Furniture at Home.
The man was perplexed.
He replied them that they have new furniture at Home.
This is generally a cotton cloth-now Polyester has come into being-wrapped around the waist.
There are two types of cloth specification based on their length.
One is 4 yards and another is yards.(There are 10/6 and 9/5 as well,these are recommended people who are tall)
While 4 yards will be enough for wrapping around the waist once, 8 yards will come for two wraps around.
The apprehension that the Dhoti will come off the waist is only an uncomfortable feeling and once one gets used to wearing the Dhoti he will feel comfortable.
Dhoti is very comfortable,convenient, easy to wear, economical and airy.
It takes very little time to wear and washing is simple and one can do it with hand.
There are various colors,mostly white,black,Saffron and Navy Blue.
Only white is recommended by the Sastras(Hindu Rule Book for House Holders)
Black/Navy Blue is not recommended,but people who visit Sabarimalai to have Darshan of Lord Ayyappa wear this color, possibly to identify them as Pilgrims visiting Sabarimalai.
Householders are proscribed from wearing this Dhoti of this colour.
Eight yards Dhoti shall be more comfortable as 4 yards will be not sufficient in length for adults of more than 5’6″.
There are two styles of wearing Dhoti.
One is wearing it just by wrapping around the waist.
The other is called ‘ Pancha Kachcham'( five fold tuck in) , which is prescribed by the Sastras for House holders(Unmarried should not wear in this style)
It indicates that one is married.
Panchakacha is , now a days worn by the Hindus, during functions, both for auspicious and inauspicious)
In fact it should be worn daily.
Panchakacha style wrapping is reported to preserve the electrical/magnetic forces in the Human Body and does not earth it,as the wrapped cloth is fully connected at all ends with no loose ends.
Kaccha means the part of cloth that is tucked to the back, in between the legs. The Pancha Kaccha has five folds of cloth in the kaccha and the nine-yards saree, doesn’t have a fold.
In case one of us aren’t aware.. The kacha style of dressing (where in the saree or the dhoti is worn in the style that ultimately is similar to a pair of pants) has been made compulsory for the married lot because-
#1 To indicate that you are married and you shouldn’t even remotely dream of having a crush on the married guy/girl
#2 To conserve the positive sexual energy that drains out via the moolaadhaara.. Now don’t ask me why, but looks like another subtle energy source gets wasted via the moolaadhara and the Kacha helps conserve all the reproductive energy.
Hold the dhoti such that you are right down the center of the dhoti (lengthwise). Both the ends should be free and you should be holding the dhoti such that there is enough dhoti to go around you just once.
Wrap it around you once (as shown) keeping the wrap a little tight at the stomach portion.
Fold the dhoti a few times so that the it is held firmly at your hip.
Take the end that is on top (typically should be the one to your left); Starting from the end, slowly make folds of about 2 inches each (kosuval).
Insert the folds into the wrap around the hip (as shown).
Take the breadth portion of the top fold and starting from the end (so that the border coloring is visible), make similar folds (as shown).
Insert this second set of folds on top of the previous one (as shown).
Take the other free end of the dhoti, starting breadthwise, make similar folds.
Run this between your legs and bring it behind you (as shown).
Ensure that the folds are not twisted.
Insert the new set of folds behind your back (as shown).
For wrapping around the waist you can tie thw first fold either on the left side of your waist or right,depending on which ever is convenient to you( left-handed might prefer Right tuck in)
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