We find disharmony in relationships.Conflicts between husband and wife,chidren with parents and between friends, at a personal level.
Cause: We expect them to behave the way we want them to behave. When they do not comply, we get upset.
This assumes two premises.1.That the standard of behaviour I have in my mind is Absolute.But, I forget that the Absolute Standard I have in my mind need not neceessrrily be correct.
2.That the Standard I have in mind is acceptable to those around me. I forget that they may have their own standards which may be at variance with ours.Such being the case expecting behaviour acceptable to me is illogical
Again, my behaviour is not perfect or acceptable to those around me,is a fact.
As I do, they also have the privilege to expect a Standard of behaviour from me.That standard is set by them .Do I live upto it? No.
Hence to accept people as they are is the correct approach to avoid discord.Remember,we have been without them at some point of time/we have acquired the relationships only at a certain point of Time.When we have been without them/when they are out of sight, what has been our position?We simply do not bother.
The correct approach is to remember these facts and accept people as they are.
Tag: Family
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Relationships.
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Feminist-on cleaning the toilet?!
Women, among other things do maintain home.No body does it better.If you want your spouse to help out it is purely a personal problem and not a social one.If you feel your spouse is not doing what you expect him to do, then end the relation ship.Is it what you you want? If relation ship is based on mathematical calculation of division of labor, then Love ceases to have meaning and Family-nothing.Men are good at some things, women are better at some things.Best way for two adults to behave is to understand each other and lead a life, not quibble over cleaning a toilet at home. Hope you do not ask men to conceive and deliver for in a marriage both are equal partners.
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Conditioning Children?
Can the Right Kinds of Play Teach Self-Control?NYT 28/09/09
Please read the article in NYT. Link;It was really funny and astounding that such an approach is being made to bringing up children.I was ,for a moment taken into believing that they are talking about Adults or worse criminals.Let the children be. Allow them to enjoy child hood.Disciplined upbringing by Scientific metods have brought world to what it is to day.Let the children express.Do not condition the child.More pertinent is to teach adults good behavior,responsibility and advise them to do what is good for the family instead of talking about freedom for themselves. Let parents set an example.Society and children will take care of themselves.
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Gun Culture.
Taking to guns is symptomatic of the turmoil of individuals , especially of children.Causes are many, but primarily it is strong Family as the bed rock of society has taken a beating in the name of freedom.People must understand life is full of compromises and adjustments.The tendency to go in for divorce, the concept of Single Parent does not harm the the individuals who take the decision(this is also debatable) , but the children.Also materialistic attitude to life , loss of Faith are other reasons.Unless Adults begin to live as Adults, children will be violent and as also adults.
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On US’s cocern about its state of Affairs.
As a society, US is young .Things are in a cauldron as US is evolving into a cohesive society.While integrating the society, these things happen at the political level.This will be all right in due course.Perception of society changes along with one’s views as one advances in age.It does not mean the change is for the worse.Things become worse before they become better.
What should really be worrying is the destruction of family as a unit in the guise of Freedom of individuals and if Family as the fundamental unit of Society is destroyed, then there is no hope.Better pay attention to Family and the society will be taken care of, for what is society if not a collection of individuals!
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