Weddingis one of the most revered and important Customs in India, especially among the Hindus.
The procedures are elaborate, needs careful planning.
A typical Hindu Brahmin Marriage consists of, aside from seeing the bride to be, Betrothal, it has
Sumangali Prarthanai (read my post on this) when the departed Women who died leaving their Husbands behind are worshiped.
This is followed by Samaradhanai (Dahdhiyaaradhanai), th offering of Puja to the Family Deity.
Only after these are completed, Marriage ceremonies take place.
One of the important duties is the Inviting people for the Marriage.
Till about some years back, some twenty years,two different types of Invitations were printed now I think three,one formal/traditonal.one each by the Bride and by the Bridegroom.
The traditional invitation is meant for close relatives,the other one with Modern type which will be distributed to others,either by the parents or by the Bride or Bridegroom.
It was the practice to post the invitations to people who are staying elsewhere.
This has to be followed by a personal letter(hand written) inviting people individually, to attend the Function.
It was also the practice to reimburse their travel expenses incurred for attending the Function.
For those who are located in the same city, the Invitation is not be posted.
It has to be delivered by hand by the Parents in person with Kumkum, Akshata, Fruits and wherever required new clothes are to be handed over .
This process is backed up by a Telephonic reminder a week before the marriage.
To some, this entire process might seem funny.
But there are /were Families which do/did not remain on speaking terms for years together on a single misstep in this procedure..
Now how does one decide whom to call one while sending Invitations?
Close relatives, like Uncles, Aunts, First Cousins,In Laws of Daughter or Son can not be avoided, whatever be the circumstances.
For the others, and even to these essential people, if one wants to avoid them, there are always methods of inviting and at the same remain not inviting!
Let me explain.
I have a close friend of 43 years standing and I went personally with my wife to invite him.
He came and graced the occasion.
this friend of mine was introduced to me by his elder brother,
Some how my friend and my friend remain very close and not his brother.
So after the function was over my friend asked me why I had not invited his elder brother who introduced him tome.
My reply was that , I send invitations to people whose name occur to me spontaneously with out elaborate scratching of the head;others, I said, were not worth remembering and hence no invites, thought there is no animosity.
So there are three types of Inviting for a Function, I explained to him.
The First , you follow the procedure I explained already. by visiting personally and following up.
The second is the trickiest, inviting them yet not inviting them.
Call them couple of Days before the Function making sure that they would not get reservation for transport and at a time most inconvenient to them.
They would not come.
Well if some one comes despite this, Bad Luck.
The third is not inviting them at all.
Note: Beware people who say, I do not care for Formality, Do not bother”
These are the people who care the most about proper procedure for inviting them for a Function.
But me, I expect Formality and personal Invites.
For Formality is the new name for Respect and Courtesy, let us be clear.
PS. I am given the short shrift by others much the same way I do to others!
Related articles
- South Indian Hindu Wedding Rituals Detailed List (ramanan50.wordpress.com)
Indian marriages are performed with great purity and making couple to learn the true meanings of being together. Marriage is also the only relationship, which connects the married couple for the life time.