I recently watched the popular talk show on StarVijay TV with participation from parents,teachers and students.
And what the teachers see as good and how do they identify the Good Student in general and a Good man in particular.
To my shock none of them have been able to specify a single attribute that characterizes a good Man.
The yard stick to determine One who is Good seems to be,
1.Good education with top rank.
2.Settling well in Life.
3,Respect to elders.
4.Punctuality.
5.Good communication skills.
6.Well groomed.
7.Being open with parents in sharing their personal experiences including Love affairs.
8.Respecting parents.
None of them have been able to specify a single Human value, excepting one man who said ‘Love others’, that makes a Good man or woman.
Truthfulness, Honesty,Integrity,Righteousness, Concern for others,Helping others,flexibility in handling Life’s problems…
Where are we heading?
Is Life all about getting a Rank and settling (?) in Life with self-centered existence?
Is the anchor rightly pointed out, all the people in the show indicated what they do not want to see in Man or woman, implying that they have a Clear concept of what is bad and none at all about what is Good!
When you do not know what Good is how do you set standards for your children?
I recall the statement by Henri Bosanquet on the question of defining what Good is,
‘Just as you can not explain what the color of yellow is to one who is born Color Blind, you can not explain what Good is to one who has never done anything Good in Life”
I consider this as the best definition.
And what defines Bad?
‘Doing things in Public which you would be ashamed of doing it in Private”
Well we from the land of Bharat are not short of Dharma Sastras or Moral literature.
Let us look a simple one from Tamil, Athichoodi by Avvaiyar.
தமிழ் எழுத்து
தமிழ் வாக்கியம்
English Translation
அ
அறம் செய விரும்பு
Intend to do right deeds
ஆ
ஆறுவது சினம்
Anger will be cooled off,Cool your Anger
இ
இயல்வது கரவேல்
Give to others what you can
ஈ
ஈவது விலக்கேல்
Do not stop, discourage others when they attempt to help others
உ
உடையது விளம்பேல்
Never be boastful of your possession
ஊ
ஊக்கமது கைவிடேல்
Never loose enthusiasm
எ
எண் எழுத்து இகழேல்
Learn the Three R’s
ஏ
ஏற்பது இகழ்ச்சி
Never accept Alms
ஐ
ஐயமிட்டு உண்
Feed others before you eat
ஒ
ஒப்புர வொழுகு
Move with world, act in harmony with the others.
ஓ
ஓதுவது ஒழியேல்
Never give up learning
ஒள
ஒளவியம் பேசேல்
Never gossip
ஃ
அஃகஞ் சுருக்கேல்
Never short change in Business
The fine point is that the first letter of all these Truisms start with the Tamil Alphabets in order.
There is more.
One may learn this and pass on to children instead of Jack and Jill, Baba Black Sheep, Rain rain go Away in country where the Climate is Hot and there is dearth of rains.
Many are not even aware of the States in the North eastern Part of India,which in a paternalistic way called as the Seven Sisters of India.
Indian media wakes up on the issues of the North east when there is an insurgency activity, election, Rape or a Corruption case erupts up.
Many students from the North East study in Indian Universities, especially in the South, like the Manipal Group of Institutions in Karnataka ,Bangalore and Anna University in Tamil Nadu.
The students do not get the same treatment as the other Students.
In fact in some campuses thee are separate Mess facilities for them.
In Hostel room allocations, these students are grouped together.
They do not get a chance to mingle with the other students,
On their part the North Indian Students do not make an effort to mingle with the others.
There is also a (mis) conception that they are untrustworthy.
The students who stay out side the Hostel do not even get accommodation easily.
In the unfortunate case of a Girl from the North East getting molested, there seems to be no action unless the students resort to strike.
Unless we assimilate them we can not complain that they are being mistreated by India,
Time for us to ponder and mix with them freely without waiting for the Government to announce some useless paper schemes only to make money by politicians.
Girl from Manipur raped
Story:
I first discovered that ‘we’ were seen as ‘different’ when we moved to Chandigarh. I was 16, and rather surprised when we were visited at lunchtime by Mrs. Khunjoo , who lived in the next apartment. Surprised because we don’t generally expect visitors at lunchtime. Certainly not visitors who spring lithely over the balconies as Mrs Khunjoo did.
“Will you have lunch” my mother , ever hospitable asked her, the first time she manifested.
“No no sister,” she said. “i just want to see.”
“What do you want to see?”,I asked.
“No, please , just what you are eating ?”
She advanced upon our table. My Mother uncovered our serving dishes. She stared at it like some mystery was to be uncovered.
“Arre!” said Mrs Khujroo. “Rice? Dal?”
We do these things. We eat rice and dal but Mrs Khujroo was hoping that she would see something exotic.
“Do people from Nagaland really eat dogs?” asked my landlady when she first learnt that I was from the North East. She was offended when I walked out of the room. Mrs Vaidya (named changed to protect the innocent, namely me) failed to even realise that what she said could be offensive. Mrs Vaidya represents mainland India’s opinion about the seven states of North East India. But at least she has given me a place to stay. Many other North-Eastern students have been turned away because they don’t “look like us”. The other thing is institutional. Don’t believe it? Consider this.
One of India’s proudest moments was at the opening ceremony of the XIX Commonwealth Games. It was one of those moments when one feels proud to be part of such a great Indian Union. The Indian contingent marched in led by Abhinav Bindra proudly carrying our Indian flag. Before him, the signboard holder was wearing the Mizo tradition Puanchei dress. Such a proud moment for the North East to be finally recognised at a event of this scale.
The very next morning the Times of India front page had a photograph of the Indian contingent. “All the teams were led out by girls wearing saris in different styles, except for the Indian team, which was heralded by a girl in a Naga dress.” So much for a “knowledgeable” leading daily.
No North Eastern student in a mainland metropolitan city would be surprised by this sheer ignorance. It has become a part of their lives and an accepted fact that they do not belong here. Nor has the mainland made them feel like they’re part of this country. Hundreds of students come every year from the North East to seek admission in Delhi University. The joy of seeking admission is often cut short by the difficulties faced in the capital. Racial discrimination, language barriers, sexual harassment and trouble finding accommodation are only some of the numerous problems.”
..”
A Khap Panchayat called by Bhagwant Singh(President), Bhartu Rathi(Secretary), and Dhiraj Tokas (husband of Counsellor) from Munirka has ordered the landlords in Munirka area to evict all the tenants from North East within 3 months, as per tweets by Bina Nepram ( twitter ID @BinaNepram), noted activist from Manipur.
Also, there is Facebook update status message by here , sent to us by Twitte handle @Jorebungley.
This Facebook update reads,
The matter was first reported last night by What’s Up Darj ? and was subsequently reported by TheDC [Details here: http://goo.gl/xni0Yn%5D.
TheDC has also come to know that those who called for Khap Panchayat are relatives of Ashish Tokas alias Vicky who has been arrested on the charges of raping a 14 year old child from Manipuri. Following the threat, concerned people from North East are currently gathering at the Vashant Vihar Police Station.
TheDC team and people of Darjeeling strongly condemn this RACIST act and request the Central and Delhi governments to take appropriate action against the perpetrators.
After tragic killing of Nido Tania, supposedly in a racial attack on 29 Jan 2014, students and activists from North East India have been protesting against racial discrimination in Delhi.
This incident has not been picked up by mainstream media yet.
Parents do want their children to come up in Life,by getting them admitted to what they trust to be the best schools.
Student Killed In Namkkal lSchool
Their objective is to make them secure a Top Rank.
While it is not advisable to go in only for Ranks as Life is much more than securing a Rank,it is highly regrettable and sad that the children who were admitted into what is beloved to the Best schools in terms of securing the Top Ranks in Tamil Nadu Examinations.
Schools located in Namakkal in Erode District,Tamil Have this distinction securing most of the Top Ranks in the Examinations, and are reported to be among the best in Coaching the students.
The Schools are equally notorious for exorbitant Fees.
The Tamil Government recommends a Maximum fee of Rs 9000 per annum for + 2 Course, these schools collect anything between Rs. 200,000 to 20,ooooo!
It may be worth remembering that a sum of rupees 40 Crore was seized by the Income Tax Department in Namakkal Schools in a single raid some time back, as unaccounted Money!
No followup action yet.
What is more worrying is the fact is the number of deaths/murders in these schools.
Four murders were reported in the first half of 2013-14 in the school premises and no action has been taken
As most of these schools are run with Political backing and Police protection even filing an FIR is not possible.
The Directorate of Education Schools Tamil Nadu State that they have control over Law and Order, Police say it is an Educational Institution and they can not take action.
These schools inform parents casually about the death and the scene of crime reveals the story touted by the school as suicide is false.
There are instances where the students are murdered by rival students engaging thugs!
Some Institution have 23, 000 students!
These students are treated like bonded labor and the Campuses do not even have Phone booths.
“So, it also becomes important to educate school teachers so that they can handle such issues with maturity. One such step has been taken by Umeed, a leading organization of counsellors led by Salony Priya, by organizing a workshop to deal effectively with health and sexuality issues among adolescents. The two-day workshop on July 4 and 5 is being organized at Frank Anthony Public School and will be attended by teachers from almost every leading English-medium school in the city.( Times of India-July,4, 2013)
I have been maintaining, that Sex is a Basic instinct and need not be taught.
The organism knows how to go about it.
It is not a kill to be taught.
Some may disagree stating that there is a lot of difference between Sex and Informed Sex(!).
The latter, unless it is instinctive,is nothing but a deviation(no psychological; connotation) and mostly leads to Perversions, which one might be unaware of before coming in possession of such information.
Despite the emergence of a Free Society( should this be in only Copulation?), the individuals feel awkward in vocalizing sexual thoughts, especially with those who are close to them even!
The Telegraph of UK conducted a Survey to find out what the Students feel about Sex Education.
Excerpts.
“I am 16 and I think that sex ed is the funniest and most ridiculously taught of anything. However, it is also the topic that I feel most young people should be informed properly about and not be conformed to using cheesy and corny videos of cartoons, nor should the extent of sex ed in high school be a more sophisticated re-run of corny junior school sex ed videos, or using bananas to practice putting on condoms. It should be changed.
don’t remember learning much from sex ed. But I did learn quite a bit from Grange Hill. Mark
I remember all of the class throwing condoms at the teacher, after she handed them out! Shanil
We had sex education lessons only a few times. But then once in year 9, the boys and girls were split up for an emergency sex education lesson – because my school panicked after two pupils were caught doing naughty things in the gardens on a school trip. In that ‘special’ class, the teacher was great – just open and honest. Adam
All that happened to us was we were shown scary pictures, got taught how to put condoms on a fake penis and that was it. We were all already sexually aware from the internet.
The scary pictures made us feel like: IF YOU HAVE SEX – THIS WILL HAPPEN AND YOU WILL DIE.
If I needed something, which was rare, at times I used to ask my mother and what I wanted was provided, but never Money.
Today, we find Pocket Money is being demanded as a matter of Right by the children and parents also consider this as a part of a Child growing into an adult!
It sounds funny.
Why does a child require Money and why do parents encourage it?
One point is that the peer Pressure exerted on the Parents by the other parents on the one hand and , on the other,the pressure exerted by the child’s friends.
Many parents resort to this practice to show their status,also to assuage their guilt feeling of not being with the child as much as they would like because of the fact that both Husband and wife are employed.
They think they are compensating this by giving money to children.
At a relatively young age, say up to 10 years, if you bring up the child properly. the child would not ask for Pocket Money and what it needs is the fact that the Father/Mother personally bought something for him
The child develops a taste for things which it can not afford and assumes that the Money is there merely for the asking.
When you have money, one tends to spend on things one does not need, this applies more to Adults,look at your credit card purchase-s you would have bought things which you would otherwise have not bought if you hard currency ;such being the case, imagine a child!
When the child has more money it tends to develop bad habits like Smoking< Drinking and begin to use drugs.
As usual parents are the last to know of this.
Then things had gone beyond control.
Another serious implication is that when the child does not get the money from you it starts stealing , first from Home ,then later from other people.
The issue has assumed such serious proportions that the Government of India has come out with a Scheme to regulate this and create an awareness among the students and the parents.
I am providing some thoughts from another source;
Pocket money as the name suggests is money given to children to take care of petty expenses. This amount of money can be given by parents’ everyday, every week or every month or even on adhoc basis, as and when the child requires it. As long as the child has the freedom to spend the money, it will be deemed as pocket money.
Parents extensively differ in their perspectives of whether or not to give pocket money to children. Some parents believe that pocket money should not be given since
*
That will make the child feel that ‘parents money is not his/her money’,
*
‘It could lead to fights between children’,
*
‘Unhealthy competition amongst children on the amount of pocket money they get’
However, giving pocket money to children has several advantages:
*
Children feel a sense of independence and responsibility towards spending the money the right way. They learn & understand the value of money. They also learn to understand that amount of money is limited and they need to always choose between their various desires to ensure correct use of their pocket money.
*
Children get into the habit of planned income and expenditure. They also learn about saving & budgeting. For eg: if they want to buy a present for their mother’s birthday, they will need to put aside some amount of money every month to collect the commensurate amount and buy the gift.
*
Giving pocket money to children also makes them feel an important part of the family since they know that they get a part of the family’s monthly income.
Some parents even believe in their children earning pocket money. What does that mean? It means that parents can often inculcate values/ beliefs/ actions in their children by rewarding them for it in the form of pocket money. In such cases, parents divide the pocket money amount in two parts:
*
One that is given on a timely basis.
*
Second that is earned against some house jobs. For eg: every Sunday, you could start giving a fixed sum of money to your son if he helps his father in cleaning the car. Or if your daughter helps around in dusting the house. This will in a way also inculcate the habit of weekly cleanliness in them since childhood. Similarly, if you strongly wish to inculcate the value of ‘ helping others’ in your children, you could promise them an extra sum of money during summer vacations if they help your maid’s child learn the basics of math.
Pocket Money , Indian Government Initiative.
Pocket Money – Financial Education in Schools
NISM has developed a program to impart basic financial skills to school students (Classes VIII upwards). Named as ‘Pocket Money’, this program has been developed as an eight (90 minute) session course.This is a joint initiative being conducted by SEBI and NISM. We have done a pilot initiative covering 30 schools and 4000 students. We will soon be launching the program in various parts of the country.
For more information about this program please go through this short presentation:
Download here for the programme.
The Government is tying up with schools and educate children , parents and the Teachers on this issue.
A 2011 study by ASSOCHAM on “Current Pocket Money Trends in Urban India” spoke to over 3,000 respondents in the 12-20 years age group in five metros, including Chennai (which was at the bottom of the list in terms of pocket money – the maximum was Rs.5,000). Shockingly, it revealed that children were getting pocket money upwards of Rs.12,000 in India, many times more than the few thousands that children were used to getting just six years ago. Apparently, big budget items that kids were going in for was gadgets (55 per cent), 25 per cent spent money on movies and malls, and about 20 per cent on eating out.
“Food is on top of the list – for all children, irrespective of their socio economic strata. If they have money, they buy food. Unfortunately, most of it is junk food and fizzy drinks,” Dr. Kumarababu explains.
Coupled with a sedentary lifestyle, this leads to obesity and a whole string of metabolic disorders that are best prevented at a young age, doctors say. The next big spending is on gadgets and on video games CDs and DVDs, all of which further encourage a sedentary life.
I remember all of the class throwing condoms at the teacher, after she handed them out!
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