It is customary for Indian households to offer Gift to visitors.
Mandatory are the Kumkum(Vermillion) and Thamboola.
The Kumkum is a sign of wealth and prosperity and it represents Goddess Mahaslakshmi, called as Sri.
Thamboolam.
The significance of offering Kumkum is the wishes of the house holder that the visitor may be blessed with Prosperity.
Thamboola has three elements.
Coconut signifies the Blessings of the Trimurthis, Brahma, Vishnu and Rudra, represented as the three marks in the Coconut.
The areca nut iss attributed to Brahma, the Tambool (betel) leaf to Vishnu and lime to Mahesh.i
Lime is offered along with these in Hindu marriages after Food.
At the practical level, this mixture, when taken after food is good for digestion.
The Legend of Thamboola.
Mohini distributed Amrut (ambrosia) amongst various gods. The urn with the remaining of the Amrut was kept near Indra’s elephant « Nagraja ». Growing inside the urn was a strange creeping plant and the gods became ecstatic. Vishnu ordered Dhanvantari to examine the plant. He thus discovered its stimulating quality. From then on, Vishnu began to offer its leaves, as a gesture of love and affection. Since, it is said , that the betel trine was born. It began to be associated with the Brahma-Vishnu-Mahesh Trinity. The areca nut was attributed to Brahma, the Tambool (betel) leaf to Vishnu and lime to Mahesh.
According to another legend, after the Pandavas’ victory at Hastinapur, they began to have a fervent desire for Tambool. A messenger was urgently sent to the underground abode of the Queen of the snakes. The Queen, only too happy to oblige, cut the extreme phalange of her little finger and sent it to the Pandavas. The phalange was planted with great ceremony and soon the Betel plant grew out of the phalange. The creeper is since then referred to as « Nagveli » the snake plant. The ceremony of the leaves commemorates this origin and the Barais offer prayers to the God of snakes on the occasion.
Another version.
Once all dev gans (Devtas, Gods) assembled on Earth at a place called ‘Naumi Sharayan’ to perform some auspicious ceremony, and while they were approaching back to ‘Bakunthya Dham’ (Heaven) they all started feeling thirsty due to extreme heat on earth when a particular community came forward and quenched their thirst by serving them Beatle leaves .Impressed by their hospitality, the Devtas not only blessed them but also honoured them by gifting the title chaturashiitah i.e. ‘CHAURASIA’ . According to the Baudhâyanas’rauta-sûtra CHAURASIA’s belong to Kashyapa, Some believe that they belong to [Bharadvâja],So there are many beliefs about Gotras .
In recent days people of this community are employed in a variety of occupations (some also refers themselves as ‘Vaishya’ i.e. traders,since becoming followers of Vallabhacharya ji, adopting Vaishanavism nearly 300 years ago.) and their religious traditions and culture are becoming less of a factor in daily life.
Two essential ceremonies are conducted in Brahmin Households in the South.
These are followed as a More than as one sanctioned by Sruthi or even Smriti.
Pudavai Kalam, Sumangali Prarthanai.
More is a Group of practices followed by a specific group rather than as a matter of personal choice.
These are followed in the South of India, in the States of Tamil Nadu,Karnataka, Kerala and Andhra.
One is Samaradhanai and the other is Sumangali Prarathanai.
Samaradhanai is conducted before or after an auspicious occasion like Ayush Homa, Upanayana, Pilgrimage , Marriage.
This is conducted for any auspicious occasion.
This is conducted either before or after the event .
In Samaradhanai , Family Deity is worshiped at Home and people are fed.
In Sri Vaishnava Sampradaya, this is called Dhadhiyaarathanai.
In those case where people are not sure of their Family Deity, the Pooja is offered to Lord Subrahmanya, in the case of Iyers, and in the case of Sri Vaishnavas, Lord Balaji.
The other ceremony is the Sumangali Prarthanai.
This again is a custom practiced and it does not find a reference in the Sruthi or Smriti.
This function is more of sentiments practiced in the Family.
This has to be performed, as a thumb rule, following the practices of the ancestors.
While it is not advisable to start this practice if it has not been practiced by the ancestors, it is equally essential note that the practice is not to be discontinued if it had been in vogue in the Family.
This is a function meant for women, married with Husband being alive.
This has to be performed once a year for one Gothra and more than once in year should not be conducted.
Tuesdays and Saturdays are to be avoided.
Fridays during the Waxing of the Moon is advisable.
Wednesdays/Thursdays are also permissible.
Ashtami,Navami Thithis are normally avoided.
Panchami is preferable.
In this function the Blessings of the departed Sumangalis, those whose deaths precede the death of their husbands are sought and those who died young before getting married.
Generally, if the daughter is getting married, the event is done before the marriage.
In the case of a son getting married, this is performed after the marriage, with the Daughter-in-law conducting it.
7 ladies and 2 young girls (preferably below the age of 10) are invited to participate in the function, partake the feast and receive thamboolam.
The total number of ladies should always be in Odd numbers.
The maximum number of ladies allowed normally is 11.
Minimum is 5 +2.
Advisable that unmarried Girl is about Eight Years as it is believed that she represents the Devi.
The ladies who sit for the puja represent all the women of the family who are no more alive.
The function is presided over by the elderly lady members of the family.
Usually the kartha is a sumangali from the family.
The gifts to the ladies vary among families and depend on the financial status of the kartha, very similar to the nandi sradham.
The menu for the feast is also very similar.
9 yds saree in silk or cotton is be bought along with a Blouse piece.
The preferable colours are red, yellow and green.
Invite and procedure.
Those to be invited, kumkum, haldi, oil, shikakai, vasanai podi are to offered at thier Home a day earlier
On the morning of the day, wash the 9 yds saree & a blouse piece with madi (shuddam)after bath & dry.
The Person conducting the Sumangali Prarthana should not take an oil bath.
Kalyana kolam/Rangoli in the entrance, and semman & tie “ mavilai” at Home.
For the pudavai kalam – put a square kolam, (padi kolam), over that keep a palakai & put kolam on that.
In front of that, put a kolam to keep the elai.
On both sides of the Pudavai(Sareee) kalam put kolam for 2 elais , beside for elais facing North, East is preferred next
Fold the dry saree so that the “ pallu” comes on the top.
The corner of the same should face N. Fold the blouse & keep on that.
On the saree keep the following:
A small mirror
Oru kavuli ( 100 no:s) vethalai
Plenty of Kali paakku
Plenty of urundai manjal
Nalangu manjal – (mix of haldi and chunnambu) on a vethalai
12 bananas
10 yds malli, kathambam or roses
Maruthani on a vethalai
A ball of haldi & water on a vethalai
Chullu vella urndai in a vethalai.
A gold chain.
.
In a “ kudam” – water to which cardamom powder and dry ginger powder are added.
One sombu( Vessel for storing water) of panakam
One sombu of neer mor.
Coins to give ladies with vethalai pakku
On the kolam in front of pudavai kalam, put double nuni elai, one overlapping the other.
Nuni should face North.
On other kolams, place elais and Water for Drinking.
Start before or after Rahu kalam.
When the ladies arrive give them manjal mixed with water, to wash their legs, apply and welcome them.
Then give them chandanam(sandalwood paste), kumkum & flowers & ask them to take their seat near the elais.(plantain Leaf)
Offer all items on menu to the pudavai kalam first & hthen serve clockwise to other elais.
Show “ doopa deepam” to pudavai kalam first & then to all ladies.
The “ conducting person” should take in the hand akshathai & flowers, sprinkle below the pallu of the saree in the pudavai kalam & pay your respects( in mind) to all the deceased sumangalis of the family.
Show karpooram (Camphor) .
Now offer a teaspoon of Water to the pudavai kalam and to all women in their hands.
They are to drink it , start eating.
Nobody should get up halfway through.
After everybody finishes eating, again offer a teaspoon of water to thepudavai kalam & move the pallu corner to the North.
One of the daughters in law should eat the pudavai kalam sappadu.
After meals the ladies should be given naeer mor, panakam & chukku vellam.
Then smear haldi on their legs and apply nalangu.(Mehendi)
Offer flowers, maruthani, chandanam & kumkum.
In a plate keep lot of vethalai, pakku, gundu manjal, coconut, kumkum bharani, comb, mirro, coin, 2 bananas, blouse piece – keep in their paLLU.
Give akshathai in their hand, do namaskaram ,request them to Bless you.
After the person who conducts has eaten, she must give the saree to a poor woman who also is asked to eat.
Thamboolam.
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