Tag: Happiness

  • Young,Single and Childless women earn more than Men.

    My sister and her baby.
    Image via Wikipedia

    TIME has reported that Single,Young and Childless women earn 8% more than men.

    Are they happy?

    Be it men or women , money is not the criterion but happiness that comes out of contentment is important.

    If you remain Single, afraid of commitments,you must remember having none to care for  or even notice you for what you are will be a burden to you.

    You shall not remain young forever.

    We find people thinking about relationships, magnifying differences of opinion to be a cause for remaining  Single and the  mistaken notion of freedom.

    Are we really free?

    Are we independent?-the word’independent’ indicates we are ‘(in) dependent.

    We can never be free from ourselves.Just as we adjust ourselves to us, we must adjust with others as love and happiness consists in accepting things as they are , accepting people with all their warts.

    It is the way to remain happy.

    The 11 Cities Where Women Out-Earn Men By The Biggest Margin (PHOTOS)

    Study: Young, Single, Childless Women Earn More Than Men – TIME

  • The Danger Of Having Unrealistic Expectations or Ecpectations.


    I have a grand son who is eight months old .I have been observing his behavior.Till a few weeks back he has been all smiles excepting when he was hungry.He seemed to have an inner reservoir of happiness which was gushing out in smiles despite what is happening around him or who picks him up.
    Now he has started moving on his stomach towards objects.When he starts moving , he goes backwards, unable to grasp the object of his attention and starts crying.
    The child is the same, objects remain what they were;yet he has started crying while a few months earlier when he never attempted the present maneuver,never went after objects, was smiling.
    Now the situation and his reaction has changed.
    Earlier he has been accepting things for what they were and never had an idea/made an attempt to acquire the object;he did not have the desire for acquisition or he did not expect any thing.He was happy.
    This is the essence of Life.Leave things as they are.Do what you feel like doing with an innocent child’s mind of about 6 months and you shall remain happy.
    One must know there is nothing that can be changed by you.If think so, it is an illusion.You may argue with this point.But experience shall tell you the Truth as mentioned above.
    Nor can you change people.
    The closest person to you is yourself.Have you listened to yourself and changed?
    Things are what they are and you are what you are.
    This does not mean inaction.This means non action.That is, you perform a task because it ought to be performed knowing pretty well that you are only one factor in completing a task whether it is brushing teeth or earning money.Many other forces that are not in your control have roles to play.If you worry about results you shall be impairing the efficiency of the only factor, that is you, that is in your control, thus reducing the overall efficiency of factors that lead to completion of an act.
    So do the best and leave it at that, whether it be a task or relation ships.This is the secret of Happiness.Now Read on….

    DISCONNECTS BETWEEN EXPECTATIONS AND EXPERIENCE

    I would argue further that the reason many of my forewarned patients report to me the experience wasn’t as bad as they expected was precisely because I warned them it would be bad. Though I’ve used a medical example here, the impact of any disconnect between our expectations and our experience is felt in almost all contexts. Our expectations of our experiences dramatically color not just how we experience waiting for them but the experiences themselves. Four scenarios exist regarding expectations and experiences. We can have:

    1. Low expectations and a poor experience, where our low expectations can mute the disappointment or even the discomfort we feel at actually having a poor experience.
    2. Low expectations but a good experience, leading to a pleasant surprise.
    3. High expectations and good experience, in which we get to enjoy not only the anticipation of looking forward to something fabulous but an experience that actually lives up to our expectations and therefore feels thoroughly satisfying.
    4. High expectations but a poor experience, in which we often emerge bitterly disappointed or even traumatized.

    THE BEST STRATEGY

    The “gain” at which we set our expectations tends to be more a matter of habit and disposition than conscious intention for most of us. Some of us expect little, perhaps as a way to defend against disappointment, accepting the cost of a muted or absent anticipatory sense of joy. Others of us can’t help having high expectations, basking consistently in the glow of anticipation but often paying a different price: the painful disappointment that comes when experiences fail to live up to those high expectations. Even worse, sometimes having unrealistically high expectations prevent us from being able to enjoy our experiences at all.

    I honestly don’t think one strategy is better than another but rather that different strategies are better suited for different types of people. If you observe yourself to be continually disappointed by experiences you feel you should be able to enjoy, you may do better by consciously lowering your expectations somewhat. Likewise, if your expectations remain so consistently low you never think things will work out for you, you may find yourself plagued by a gloomy pessimism that blocks you from savoring a truly enjoyable part of life—the anticipation of good things—and you might work on allowing yourself to expect just a little more.

    Though we all may have a built-in set point at which we unconsciously tend to set our expectations, that doesn’t prevent us from consciously grabbing the reins and adjusting them up or down to suit our needs. Certainly it would be ideal if our expectations always perfectly matched our experiences, but as the quality of many experiences is hard to predict, we might do better to adjust our expectation of how much we think we’ll enjoy or dislike an experience based more on how we know those expectations will affect us than on how accurate we may think they’ll turn out to be.

    My own personal preference is to know up front as much as I can about both good and bad experiences coming my way. For me—and, I’ve observed, for many others—not knowing what’s coming when anticipating something bad creates even more anxiety than having full knowledge of how bad what’s coming will be. Knowing the limits of the “badness” I’ll be facing enables me to focus on preparing for it rather than on managing my imagination’s tendency to inflate it beyond all rational proportion. For me at least, the devil I don’t know is far worse than the devil I do.

    Though soon after the anesthesiologist left our room for the last time my wife and I had both become resigned to having a different experience than we’d expected, after our son was born (perfectly healthy) we received another surprise: my wife’s left-sided pain actually became worse, located now not low in her pelvis where her uterus was appropriately contracting down to staunch any bleeding, but rather high up in the left upper quadrant of her abdomen where it had absolutely no business being. When I glanced worriedly at our obstetrician she only shrugged in confusion. The anesthesiologist was called back in one last time, gave my wife a narcotic, and the pain finally faded away, never to return. To this day, however, my wife regards the last five hours of her labor as one of the worst experiences of her life. The only thing that saved the day was that it was followed immediately by one of the best.
    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201003/the-danger-having-unrealistic-expectations

  • Enjoy Life.

    1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
    2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
    3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
    4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
    5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
    6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
    7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
    8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
    9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
    10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
    11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
    12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
    13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
    14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
    15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
    16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
    17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
    18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
    19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
    20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
    21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie.
    Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
    22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
    23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
    24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
    25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
    26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
    27. Always choose life.
    28. Forgive everyone everything.
    29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
    30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
    31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
    32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
    33. Believe in miracles.
    34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
    35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
    36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
    37. Your children get only one childhood.
    38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
    39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
    40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s,we’d grab ours back.
    41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
    42. The best is yet to come.
    43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
    44. Yield.
    45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

  • What Equality Women Want?

    Happiness is subjective, relative and keeps on changing along with the growth of the individual and change of life style.It is by no means Absolute.Hence efforts to measure and quantify Happiness is absurd, not with standing Psychologists’ objections,as Happiness can not be defined.
    Having said that what exactly women want?
    They want lower insurance premiums?;do not want to maintain home?
    In the case of the former, because of the fact Nature has made them differently, they have unique functions,like pregnancy and delivery as well as the complications that may arise out of it.Fortunately or unfortunately Men are not endowed by Nature thus in this regard.Insurance companies collect more premium because of cost ot flow and not because of gender discrimination.Conversely do you expect Men to pay higher premium on par with Women because only then Gender equality is ensured?At this rate ,you might even demand Men deliver babies!

    On taking care of Home,it is purely personal and optional;if you do not want to do it,don’t;if your spouse objects to it, better leave him to assert equality.
    Coming to wages, how many women are paid equally or more than Men in MNCs.?In factan Indian Lady was Pepsi CEO.
    Women have gone to space, been Prime Ministers and in fact India is controlled right now by a lady.
    Recognition and monetary rewards are related to performance and not gender,especially in Business and politics.
    People keep on harping equality.What exactly is needed?Obviously men can not deliver babies nor can they feed them. Short of this men will do every thing they can and are doing and shall do so.
    Please be clear about what you want;individual maladjustments can not be made a social issue.
    All said and done life is about getting along with people and in the process one may have to compromise,no gender, for Life is nothing but full of compromises.
    You never realise and enjoy happiness when you have it and you keep on chasing mirages.In life, expect less, especially of relationships, and give more-that is the secret of Happiness.

    Story:
    When We’re Equal, We’ll Be Happy
    Barbara Ehrenreich is now the latest to weigh in on the Female Happiness Conundrum — the whole cultural brouhaha caused by the news from Wharton School professors Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers earlier this year that despite all the objective improvements to their lives over the past four decades, women today appear to be less happy than they were in 1972.

    It’s been a hot-button issue, this most recent iteration of Freud’s too-often-repeated question about what women want. The whole declining happiness thing has been spun into an indictment of feminism (the “triumphant: I told you so” as Ehrenreich puts it), sparking an angry response that those who claim women are unhappy post-feminism are nothing more than agents of an anti-woman backlash.

    That accusation is often correct. But not necessarily in Stevenson and Wolfers’s case.

    Wolfers defended himself in The New York Times’ Freakonomics blog last week, arguing that his and Stevenson’s study isn’t the only one to show declining female happiness since the 1970s. He and Stevenson further admit, in the course of their paper, that their numbers really don’t tell us anything clear about why women now report being more unhappy, only that they do. And whether that increased reporting of lesser happiness actually corresponds to a decline in lived happiness is another question that Stevenson and Wolfers are very open in admitting they can’t answer.

    I appreciate this. I tend to have a problem with studies that measure nebulous emotional states and then compare them back to other nebulous states experienced at different moments in time. You learn a lot from them about how people answer surveys, but not so much about how they objectively felt. Happiness, after all, is hard to quantify; you can’t measure it in a blood test, or map it in a mathematical equation corresponding to patterns of neuronal activity in the brain. It also tends to be relative; we judge our happiness, at least in part, against our expectations of how we are supposed to feel and how good we think life is supposed to be.

    These inner “supposed”s may well have changed for women since the early 1970s, as Stevenson and Wolfers more or less say, in fancier language. They suggest that the opening up, diversifying and expanding of women’s sphere of existence may have given them more things to potentially be unhappy about: “… the increased opportunities available to women may have increased what women require to declare themselves happy.” Entering the world of men may very well have raised the bar of expectations: “If happiness is assessed relative to outcomes for one’s reference group,” they write, “then greater equality may have led more women to compare their outcomes to those of the men around them. In turn, women might find their relative position lower than when their reference group included only women.”

    In other words: if you expect less for yourself, you’re easier to please.

    The early 1970s was a limiting time for women, but it was also, perhaps, a hopeful time. There was definitely a feeling in the air that women’s lives were changing in a positive way. There was a sense that everything was possible, that life for women was getting better, that if things hadn’t yet come together as well as they should have, they inevitably would. Down the line. Like, today.

    Life for women has not come together. That, at least, is the very clear conclusion you have to draw after reading the essays contained in “A Woman’s Nation Changes Everything,” a book-length report released this week by the Center for American Progress. Despite its cheery-sounding title, the report conveys a bleak portrait of women’s non-progress in our day. The wage gap persists, particularly for mothers, who now earn 73 cents for every man’s dollar. Our workforce and education system is still sex-segregated, operating along generations-old stereotypes that steer most women into low-paid, low-status, low-security professions. Women pay more for health insurance than men, have more extensive health needs than men, and suffer unique forms of discrimination in their coverage. (Women may be denied coverage because they had a Caesarean delivery or were victims of domestic violence — both “preexisting conditions.”) Regardless of the number of hours they work, they continue to do far more caretaking and housekeeping work at home than do their husbands. And discrimination against mothers (but not fathers) in the workplace is all but ubiquitous.

    http://warner.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/22/when-were-equal-well-be-happy/?apage=3#comments

  • Feminism and Happiness-funny study.

    ‘Much-discussed study claims that women are more depressed relative to men in recent decades, when it actually suggests that neither marriage nor children make women happy.’
    http://www.alternet.org/reproductivejustice/143260/ridiculous_study_blames_feminism_for_non-existent_’happiness_gap’_between_men_and_women_/?page=2
    Comment:
    1.What is the age of the Groups selected for study?If they are in before in early thirties, then your results are skewed.You need to take age group of 40+ to assess what their feminism has brought them.It will be a revelation.
    2.Happiness is subjective and can , by no stretch of imagination can be measured qualitatively.Any qualified Psychologist will tell you that.
    3.Drop in suicide rates need not necessarily indicate feminism as the cause.
    4. Finally if marriage and children do not give them happiness , what gives them Happiness?Career,Money? excellent!? When your bones become weak, you will know for certain.

    Pseudo studies like this are harmful to individual and society.
    Maureen Dowd!-Stick to plagiarism.Or is this also some body’s view.?