Tag: Cohabitation

  • Live-In Relationship Is Rape, Prostitution?

    A 31-year-old Magistrate was arrested in Tamil nadu for ending the Live-In Relationship with a woman Police Constable after the Police received a complaint from her against he Magistrate for rape and Dowry harassment.

    What is Live-In Relationship.

    Couples cohabit, rather than marry, for a variety of reasons. They may want to test their compatibility before they commit to a legal union. They may want to maintain their single status for financial reasons. In some cases, such as those involving gay or lesbian couples, or individuals already married to another person, the law does not allow them to marry. In other cases, the partners may feel that marriage is unnecessary. Whatever the reasons, between 1970 and 1990, the number of couples living together outside of marriage quadrupled, from 523,000 to nearly 3 million. These couples face some of the same legal issues as married couples, as well as some issues that their married friends need never consider.

    In most places, it is legal for unmarried people to live together, although some Zoning laws prohibit more than three unrelated people from inhabiting a house or apartment. A few states still prohibit fornication, or sexual relations between an unmarried man and woman, but such laws are no longer enforced. Even in the early twenty-first century, some states continue to prohibit Sodomy, which includes sexual relations between people of the same sex. Although these laws are rarely enforced, the U. S. Supreme Court upheld the constitutionality of these sodomy statutes as applied to same-sex couples in Bowers v. Hardwick, 478 U.S. 186, 106 S. Ct. 2841, 92 L. Ed. 2d 140 (1986). The Court reconsidered the same issue 17 years later, however, and decided that a Texas sodomy law that applied specifically to homosexual conduct violated the due process clause of the Fourteenth Amendment (lawrence v. texas, 539 U.S. ___, 123 S. Ct. 2472,156 L. Ed. 2d 508 [2003]). Advocates of Gay and Lesbian Rights viewed the case as a victory for their cause.”

    ..

    Family Law experts advise cohabiting couples to address these and other issues in a written cohabitation agreement, similar to a Premarital Agreement. The contract should outline how the couple will divide expenses and own property, whether they will maintain joint or separate bank accounts, and how their assets will be distributed if one partner dies or leaves the relationship. Property acquired during cohabitation, such as real estate, home furnishings, antiques, artwork, china, silver, tools, and sports equipment, may be contested if partners separate or if one of them dies. To avoid this, the agreement should clearly outline who is entitled to what.

    When cohabiting couples separate, division of assets often becomes a contentious issue. In the past, courts refused to enforce agreements between unmarried couples to share income or assets, holding that such agreements were against public policy. In 1976, the California Supreme Court decided Marvin v. Marvin, 18 Cal. 3d 660, 134 Cal. Rptr. 815, 557 P.2d 106, holding that agreements between cohabiting couples to share income received during the time they live together can be legally binding and enforceable. The highly publicized suit between actor Lee Marvin and his live-in companion, Michelle Triola Marvin, was the first of a series of “palimony” suits that have become more numerous since the 1980s. The plaintiff in a palimony suit must prove that the agreement of financial support is not a meretricious agreement, that is, one made in exchange for a promise of sexual relations. Courts refuse to enforce meretricious contracts because of their similarity to contracts for prostitution.”

    In the case mentioned, the woman has been living with the Man for quite a few years and now she comes back, after he walks out on her, that he had been raping her and to add spice slapped a Dowry Harassment case against him!

    Siddhart and Shruthi Hasssan
    Image courtesy: BCCL Siddharth and Shruti Haasan have taken their relationship to an all new level. They are so confident about their relationship that they have started living-in to get to know each other better. The couple hasn’t hidden anything from the actress-singer’s father Kamal Haasan and have also got his blessings. When Kamal learnt that the two were intending to take their relationship forward, the progressive father was more than happy to bless the duo.
    Source.idiva.com

    Had she wanted the protection of Law she should have married and registered it.

    Reason is that both wanted to enjoy cohabitation with out the attendant responsibilities of Marriage.

    You can not choose what is convenient for you and ask the Law to come to your rescue,

    Now she also claims rape.

    In the course of her relationship with him, she must have cohabited with him more than once.

    Why did not she scream Rape, after the first instance.

    Because she wanted it and enjoyed it.

    Now that he decides to walk away,fearful of losing economic security, she is calling Rape?

    What is this, if not Prostitution for you seek Money for Sex?

    A woman, any woman, can scream rape after the Act is over, either immediately or  even years later, it seems.

    Unfortunately the Supreme Court Of India has upheld a petition  that a woman from a Live-In Relationship is entitled to the benefits equivalent to that of a woman from a Marriage.(latest case)

    Their Lordships ,in their Wisdom’ did not ask a simple question.

    ” If you want the benefits of Law as applicable to Marriage, why did you not marry?

    But law, as usual, being an Ass, has given an earlier judgement in 2010.as follows.

    1) The couple must hold themselves out to society as being akin to spouses

    (2) They must be of legal age to marry

    (3) They must be otherwise qualified to enter into a legal marriage including being unmarried

    (4) They must have voluntarily cohabited and held themselves out to the world as being akin to spouses for a significant period of time.

    “In our opinion, not all live-in relationships will amount to a relationship in the nature of marriage to get the benefit of the Act of 2005 (Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act). To get such benefits the conditions mentioned by us above must be satisfied and this has to be proved by evidence.

    “If a man has a ‘keep’ whom he maintains financially and uses mainly for sexual purpose and or as a servant, it would not in our opinion be a relationship in the nature of marriage,” the court said.

    “No doubt the view we are taking would exclude many women who have had a live-in relationship from the benefit of the 2005 Act (Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act) but then it is not for this court to legislate or amend the law. Parliament has used the expression ‘relationship in the nature of marriage’ and not ‘live-in relationship’. The court in the garb of interpretation cannot change the language of the statute,” the bench observed.

    Their Lordships score in trying to be as unambiguous  as possible!

    Excellent!

    Freedom to fornicate without responsibly is not practiced even by the Animals.

    Sources:

    http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Live-in+relationship

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2010-10-21/india/28261410_1_domestic-violence-act-live-in-relationship-maintenance

    http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2013-06-30/chennai/40286028_1_sub-inspector-magistrate-judicial-officers

  • ‘Living Together’ Messes Up Life Study

    The case for Living together is basically one of embarking in a Relationship with out Commitment.

     

    Put it bluntly it is taken as a licence and a short route to Debauchery and sexual gratification a la animals with out a sense of responsibility.

     

    (some studies show Gorillas have a strong  sense of marital Commitment!)

     

    Some of the Reasons provided.Reason#1 – It’s financially responsible.

     

    Where I live, an apartment can run you somewhere between $700 and $1400.  Dropping an extra $1000/month seems like throwing your money down the drain.  If you’re a particularly “committed co-habitor” (yep, I like the term too :) ), you might even be building up equity in a home you’ve bought together.”

     

    You can do that even by Marrying.

     

    You spend all your time together anyways.  Like wasting money with rent, wasting time is equally frustrating.  You drive to each other’s places many times during the week.  You help each other with cooking and cleaning and laundry and bills.  Traveling back and forth, virtually living in two places, is kind of like the inconvenience of living out of a bag on a business trip.  It’s annoying.  If you want to be together, why all the running around?

    Reason #3 – It seems like a good next step in the relationship.  Consumers that we are in America, everything exists with a try it before you buy it clause.  Every infomercial promises that you can try it and return it in 30 days for a full refund.  And the bigger the purchase, the more you want to make sure it’s just right.  What kind of fool would buy a car before thorough inspection and testing?  Thankfully, marriage in our society today does, to a degree, maintain some semblance of “a big deal”.  Couples don’t want to rush into that.  Well, what about a “____ day money-back” transition period to see if this relationship truly feels right?  These test periods make sense in every other aspect of our lives, why not our relationships?

    Reason #4 – It’s so common.  By definition, nothing will make something seem like “not a big deal” faster than commonality.  I guarantee you know couples that are living together outside of marriage.  In fact, many of you, especially if you tend towards the younger generations, might know more couples that are living together than not.  It’s the age old, after-school-special argument of “How can it be that bad if everybody’s doing it?”  It was not, at least statistically speaking, common 40 years ago though.  Imagine that, after the sexually open-minded 60s, co-habitation was still considered fairly taboo.  People that lived together outside of marriage (particularly women – a strange double standard in our society that’s more appropriate for another article) developed reputations.  People don’t like bad reputations.  Regardless of ethnicity or religion, there is one word out there that young women don’t want to be called more than any other word.  Young people don’t call young girls promiscuous or even “skanky” anymore.  They call them this word – a word that will make a girl feel more worthless than any other – a destructive word that I guarantee is used at your child’s school.  40 years ago, living together with a man would earn a woman a label like this.  Not anymore.  In fact, if she’s only sexually active with one man, marriage or not, she’s virtually safe from labels today.  It’s just so common that it won’t warrant a subjective label like that.

    Reason #5 – We love each other.  Love is a funny word.  It’s a fascinating biblical word.  When a young couple chooses to live together because they love one another.

    Can one see any valid argument here?

    If ‘ we love each other’ why not marry?

    http://pastorjameshein.wordpress.com/2010/05/13/5-great-reasons-to-live-together-before-marriage-1-better-one-not-to/

     

    Reasons for Living together:

    • Economic or practical reasons.
    • Concerns about a long-term commitment.
    • Fear of divorce.
    • Convenience.
    • To give the relationship a trial run before marriage.
    • Lack of faith in marriage as an institution.
    • Escape from family home.
    • Compromise with partner who doesn’t want to be married.
    • Companionship.

     

    Sillier reasons , you can not find!

     

    What are the statistics on Living Together?

     

    Married or living together, 1981–2006
    Married or living together, 1981–2006

    Readily Available Cohabitation Facts

    • Living together is considered to be more stressful than being married.

     

    • Just over 50% of first cohabiting couples ever get married.

     

     

    • In the United States and in the UK, couples who live together are at a greater risk for divorce than non-cohabiting couples.

     

     

    • Couples who lived together before marriage tend to divorce early in their marriage. If their marriage last seven years, then their risk for divorce is the same as couples who didn’t cohabit before marriage.

     

    Cohabitation Facts Rarely Mentioned

    • In France and Germany cohabiting couples have a slightly lower risk of divorce.

     

    • If cohabitation is limited to a person’s future spouse, there is no elevated risk of divorce.

     

     

    • In the U.S., cohabiting couples taking premarital education courses or counseling are not at a higher risk for divorce.

    http://marriage.about.com/od/cohabitation/qt/cohabfacts.htm

     

    Some more facts.

    • The number of unmarried couples living together soared 12-fold from 430,000 in 1960 to 5.4 million in 2005.
    • More than eight out of ten couples who live together will break up either before the wedding or afterwards in divorce.
    • About 45 percent of those who begin cohabiting, do not marry. Another 5-10 percent continue living together and do not marry.
    • Couples who do marry after living together are 50% more likely to divorce than those who did not.
    • Only 12 percent of couples who have begun their relationship with cohabitation end up with a marriage lasting 10 years or more.
    • A Penn State study reports that even a month’s cohabitation decreases the quality of the couple’s relationship.
    • (rayfowler.org.)

     

    Read this.

    Of the 45 percent or so who do marry after living together, they are 50 percent more likely to divorce than those who remained separate before the wedding.So instead of 22 of the 45 couples divorcing (the 50 percent divorce rate) about 33 will divorce. That leaves just 12 couples who have begun their relationship with cohabitation who end up with a marriage lasting 10 years.

     

    LOPEZ: Isn’t it practical sometimes?

    http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/224058/no-way-live/interview

     

  • ‘Living in’ ,’Ditching’ Is it Rape?

    People enter into a Live in relationshiponly to avoid the responsibilities that accompany a marriage ,with a clear intention of ditching when it suits them.

    Marriage Day
    Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)

    They hide behind nonsensical statements like, ‘want to know the partner well’ and the like.

    How many people, despite living matrimony have understood their spouses?

    It is impossible to understand another human being.

    You adjust and make compromises, that’s Life.

    Do we understand ourselves?

    Now to the issue of rape.

    Both the partners have indulged in sexual intercourse by consent.

    If the live in relationship breaks ,how does earlier intercourse becomes a rape?

    It looks as if even married couple have to sign a bond consenting for sexual intercourse!

    Again can not a Man claim the same privilege?(!)

    Sheer nonsense.

    You have entered into a relationship knowing the full implication.

    One does not marry to remain a monk nor a woman a nun.

    Please read my blog on rape.

    A Delhi-based computer professional had no qualms in maintaining a live-in relationship for 8 years with a girl but when it came to marrying her, he quickly fell into the customary caste-based obligation to tie the knot with another girl chosen by his parents. Married just three months ago, now he faces rape charges brought against him by the erstwhile live-in partner. His last hope for protection against arrest went up in smoke on Friday as a vacation bench of the Supreme Court dismissed his bail plea.

    Petitioner’s counsel argued that the erstwhile live-in partner had never complained of rape during the 8 year relationship and has filed a complaint with police accusing him of raping her only after learning that he was getting married.

    A bench of Justices Deepak Verma and S J Mukhopadhaya said “for 8 years you remained together and now you have ditched her to marry another. That could be a reason for the complaint. But you face the charge.”

    The two met in 2004 and stayed together as live-in partners towards the end of 2011. But, the man chickened out when his family and society opposed the match on the ground that the girl did not belong to the caste in which he could get married.

    As soon as the girl came to know that he was going to marry another chosen by his parents, she filed a complaint with the police on February 4, just eight days before the date of his marriage. The counsel said the family elders intervened and settled the matter. The girl withdrew her complaint on February 8.

    The boy got married on February 12 and the former live-in partner went to Mandawali police station on March 1 insisting on registration of her complaint accusing him of repeatedly raping her on the promise of marriage.

    With the trial court and the Delhi High Court refusing to grant him bail, he had moved the Supreme Court seeking relief on the ground, among others, that he had been married just three months ago.

    http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Man-ditches-live-in-partner-of-8-years-faces-rape-charge-SC-dismisses-bail-plea/articleshow/13487862.cms

     

  • Live-in Couples live happily-Obviously!

    A study has found that Live-in Couples live happily as compared to married people.

    Family Together.
    Family.

    How far this study is true is open to question as the results will depend on the Ethnicity,Culture , Environment and the values imbibed by the individual

    It is to be noted that if you take a study in Scandinavian Countries, where Live-in Culture is vogue for quite some time(the Government is facing the music because of Live-in after effects of Orphans and anti-social behaviour of the adults that come out of these families), the results will obviously favour the findings.
    Obviously those who have a Live-in relationship will be happy,without knowing what happiness and commitment is to an individual’s Emotional Growth and stability, as each of the partners have separate bank Accounts and have every thing separately;only place they are together is the bed. This, they could achieve even without sharing the roof.

    One will know the consequences as they grow up.

    It is unfortunate some never grow up.

    The idea that that marriage has health and happiness advantages over cohabitation may be overrated, a new study has suggested.

    The study has asserted that while both marriage and cohabitation provide benefits over being single, these reduce over time following a honeymoon period.

    “Marriage has long been an important social institution, but in recent decades western societies have experienced increases in cohabitation, before or instead of marriage, and increases in children born outside of marriage,” said Dr Kelly Musick, Associate Professor of policy analysis and management at Cornell University’s College of Human Ecology.

    “These changes have blurred the boundaries of marriage, leading to questions about what difference marriage makes in comparison to alternatives.”

    This study compared marriage to cohabitation while using a fixed-effects approach that focuses on what changes when single men and women move into marriage or cohabitation and the extent to which any effects of marriage and cohabitation persist over time.

    Dr Musick drew a study sample from the National Survey of Families and Households (NSFH) of 2,737 single men and women, 896 of whom married or moved in with a partner over the course of 6 years.

    The study focused on key areas of well-being, considering questions on happiness, levels ofdepression, health, and social ties.

    The results showed a spike in well-being immediately following both marriage and cohabitation as couples experienced a honeymoon period with higher levels of happiness and fewer depressive symptoms compared to singles. However, these advantages were short lived.

    Marriage and cohabitation both resulted in less contact with parents and friends compared to remaining single – and these effects appeared to persist over time.

    “We found that differences between marriage and cohabitation tend to be small and dissipate after a honeymoon period. Also while married couples experienced health gains – likely linked to the formal benefits of marriage such as shared healthcare plans – cohabiting couples experienced greater gains in happiness and self-esteem,” Dr Musick insisted.

    “For some, cohabitation may come with fewer unwanted obligations than marriage and allow for more flexibility, autonomy, and personal growth.

    “Compared to most industrial countries America continues to value marriage above other family forms. However our research shows that marriage is by no means unique in promoting well-being and that other forms of romantic relationships can provide many of the same benefits,” Dr Musick added.

    The study has been published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.

    http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-01-24/man-woman/30647719_1_cohabitation-marriage-study

    Please read how animals like crocodiles and as recently proved ,take care of their offspring not to speak od Chimps.

    Are we lower than these animals?

    The argument over whether or not dinosaurs were doting parents has raged for decades. Until recently only birds and mammals were thought to exhibit true parental care.

    However, in the 1970s naturalists discovered that crocodiles helped their young to hatch and carried them to water. Then in the 1980s scientists found that a dinosaur they had dubbed oviraptor – the egg-stealer – because its remains were found near a nest, had been trying to incubate the eggs, rather than steal them.

    Subsequent discoveries of fossilised eggs and nests in America and Mongolia suggest that many dinosaurs may have cared for their young after hatching. Some laid eggs in earth nests scooped in the soil and returned to feed the young after they emerged.

    Other studies suggest that some of the legs of some dinosaur young were too weak for them to roam very far from a nest, which suggests that parents brought food back for them at least in the first days after hatching.

    However, the latest find suggests that parental care may have extended beyond the stage of a nest full of newly hatched young. At least some dinosaurs may have behaved more like birds in terms of parental care than today’s lizards, which rarely take part in raising or caring for their young.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/fossil-find-proves-dinosaurs-looked-after-their-babies-544280.html

  • Remarriage,does it work?

    Vector image of two human figures with hands i...
    Image via Wikipedia

     

    Relationship does not work on Statistics.

    Those who remarry are inclined to compare the present spouse with the former one, whatever the reasons for Divroce might be.This creates tensions and arguments , one of the main reasons for divorces..( comparisons are present in first marriages as well,but definitely not with the same intensity)

    Any relationship is based on compromises-‘Me first marriages’ read my blog on this;- unless this is understood, any marriage is bound to fail.

    As for children, they are affected psychologically by a second marriage,statistics not withstanding.

    Ask any child about it.

    Value for family system is the bedrock on which the well being of the individual and the society is built.

    Story:

    Sharon Sassler is an associate professor in the department of policy analysis and management at Cornell.

    Previously married people have probably heard the warning that divorce rates are even higher in second marriages. But I ask you, how could remarriage possibly be any worse? After all, 100 percent of marriages ended unhappily among the currently divorced. Second marriages on average cannot possibly fare any worse statistically.

    Yes, second marriages have a high failure rate. But dissolution rates are far greater among cohabiting couples of any age.

    Just as with marriage rates overall, remarriage rates have declined. Divorced individuals are increasingly choosing cohabitation as an alternative to marriage. Living together is sometimes believed to be a safer, if less formal, relationship.

    But the reality is that dissolution rates are higher among cohabiting couples than remarried couples. According to results from the National Survey of Family Growth, only 13 percent of cohabitations remained intact (that is, did not make the transition into a marriage or dissolve) after five years; in contrast, 77 percent of couples that remarried were still together five years after the ceremony. The odds of remaining in a long-term partnership are higher when there is a legal tie.

    As for those who are parents, remarriage is sometimes unfairly maligned for the impact it can have on children. It is often difficult for children to adjust to a parent’s new spouse, and on average, research shows that children who spend time in step-families fare less well than those who grow up with married biological parents.

    But on many dimensions children whose parents enter into second marriages have better outcomes than do children whose parents cohabit. They are less likely to drink or smoke, have higher levels of economic well-being, and as adults have better relationship quality than their counterparts whose divorced parents formed cohabiting unions or remained solo. Parents’ intimate relationships serve as templates for their children, long after the divorce and its aftermath.

    Finally, looking at those who do remarry reveals a well-kept secret.

    Just as the advantaged are now more likely to tie the knot in the first place, they are also more likely to remarry following a divorce. Men, for example, are more likely to remarry than are women (especially if they are custodial fathers), and remarriage rates are also higher for whites and the college educated. That suggests that marriage – even second marriages confers social, legal, and personal benefits that those in positions of power or authority take advantage of.

    Remarriage may be less beneficial among those nearing retirement age. Some recent studies have found that later-life cohabitations are more stable than those entered into by younger adults, though they are still less durable than remarriages. There may be other reasons to avoid remarriages among those who are retirement-aged; concerns with children’s inheritance, reliance on a former spouse’s pension, or a desire sometimes expressed by widows to enjoy the chance to do what they want without concerning themselves with another’s wishes.

    But for those interested in establishing intimate relationships with new partners, there are many reasons, well supported with the scholarly research, to put aside the fear of failure that divorce represents to many Americans, and engage in “the triumph of hope over experience.

    http://health.dir.groups.yahoo.com/group/public_awareness/message/2248