Ramanisblog

Tag: bride

  • Hinduism On Children Illegitimate Children

    Hinduism accords importance to Familial relationships.

     

    Duties of each member of the Family is set,Man,Wife,children,Brother,Sister and elders.

     

    However the emphasis  is more on the duties of the son.

     

    Hindu Symbol OM.jpg
    Hindu Symbol OM

     

    Hinduism considers the begetting of a male child to be auspicious as they believe that the son prevents the parents entering the Hell called ‘Puth’

     

    The name for son is Puthra, one who prevents parents from entering Puth.

     

    The Smritis state that a son is to be treated as,

     

    a King till he is Five years old.

     

    as Slave from 5 to Fifteen and

     

    a friend after Fifteen years.

     

    A son is not to be praised in his face.

     

    His mistakes are to be pointed out.

     

    a son has to be educated within one’s  means.

     

    As children can not understand the difficulties of running a family(till they are fifteen No Family affairs are to be discussed with them nor their opinion sought even for their education)

     

    Once they are married all decisions are to be taken after discussing with them, not necessarily following them.

     

    They have to be taught etiquette  and discipline as set forth in the Taittriya Upanishad in Siksha Valli.

     

    The son , when he comes of age is expected to run the family and the parents have to maintain themselves , either by staying in the family or withdrawing to the forest as a vanaprastha.

     

    If the wife is not willing to accompany the husband,she has to be left in the care of the son.

     

    The son  is the Guardian of the Mother.

     

    The son is the next authority in running the Family and he has to take  care of his sisters  and younger brothers as a father.

     

    His wife occupies the next place in the Family after the Mother and Father.

    She is Mother in another form.

     

    The son is to perform the Funeral rites of the Parents.

     

    He shall perform all the duties of  the Father, including  the performance of all Poojas and Rituals prescribed for the Family, after the Seemantha for his wife is performed.

     

    If a Man does not have a child, he has to adopt his daughter’s child as his son.

     

    Following ceremonies are performed for the Son.

     

    1.Punyahavachana.

    2.Namakarana, naming the child.

    3.Ayush Homa till he attains Five Years.

    4.Ear-piercing,Karnabhushana.

    5.Head tonsuring.

    6.Upanayana.

    7.Marriage.

    8.Seemantha for His wife.

     

    Illegitimate children.

     

    Children of an Unmarried woman,

     

    Child of son’s pregnant Bride,

     

    Son of twice married woman,

     

    Son of an adopted daughter,

     

    Adopted son,

     

    All belong to the family.

     

    In the absence of legitimate  children, the illegitimate children  receive one-fourth of the Estate.

     

    Gautama Sutra 28.18.

     

    Manu on Illegitimate Children

    By the sacred tradition the woman is declared to be the soil (or the field), the man is declared to be the seed; the production of all corporeal beings takes place through the union of the soil with the seed.” (Manu. IX.33)

    “Those who, having no property in a field, but possessing seed-corn, sow it in another’s soil, do not receive the grain of the crop which may spring forth.” (Manu.IX.49)

    “If (one man’s) bull were to beget a hundred calves on another man’s cows, they (i.e., the calves) would belong to the owner of the cows; in vain would the bull have spent its strength.” (Manu.IX.50)

    “Thus men who have no marital property in women, but sow their seed in the soil of others, benefit the owner of the woman; but the giver of the seed reaps no benefit.” (Manu.IX.51)

     

    Citation.

     

    https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/advaitin/conversations/messages/55496

     

    http://www.hinduwebsite.com/hinduism/h_children.asp

     

     

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  • Time For Brahmins To Change At Least in Marriages

    Brahmin Wedding
    Brahmin Wedding

    Brahmins have been a closely knit community.

    There are other communities which are more closely knit than the Brahmins, say, the Nattukkottai Nagarathar Community.

    As I am a Brahmin by birth, a proud one for being so,I deem it fit to record some unpleasant facts, especially  regarding marriages, in our Community.

    Some of my observations are likely to hurt but some one has to say them.

    I am aware that I will be criticized very severely, for no body is a biter critic of a Brahmin than a fellow Brahmin, much in the same way as the Jews,

    Marriages,

    I searched for an alliance for my son for over three and half years before I got him married.

    I had utilized all avenues from the traditional circulation of Horoscopes to registering in Matrimonial Sites,

    There is a tendency among most of the parents, whose daughter’s are employed, and more so if they have only one daughter:

    That of postponing the marriage of their daughters as long as possible.

    The reasons they cite are,,

    The girl does not want to marry now,

    She needs to be independent for some time, earning well to enable her to stand on her feet,

    The arguments are fallacious.

    No Girl or Boy will come to their parents and declare that they want to marry and ask them to look for a suitable spouse.

    They would be coy in admitting the fact that it is time for them to get married.

    I am excluding those children who come and declare that they are in love with some one(normally with one from another caste: even this I attribute to the fact of parents delaying the marriage on one pretext or another.

    As parents it is our responsibility to advise them the advantages of getting married at an early age, the reasons being,

    a ) If you are looking for the Best looking woman or Man, remember that the opposite side also does the same and each has the privilege of rejecting.

    b) You do not get any younger and it would be tougher to get a match as time marches on.

    And taking  children’s views of not wanting to get married has few serious consequences for parents as well.

    I know of a couple of cases, where the parents have stopped looking for alliances because  their children said so.

    These parents, they are my close friends,took their children’s views seriously and stopped looking for a match.

    Now the boys are past 35.
    They have stopped speaking with their parents thought they stay in the same house and are alright in all other respects.

    As i can closely mingle with the younger set as a friend, this is with my own children as well, I understood from them that they are cross that their parents have not finalised their marriages!

    They are sore that their parents have taken their views seriously!

    Now I am looking for alliances for them along with their parents.

    Lesson- go about alliances notwithstanding your children’s objections and record them.

    If they refuse, show them the records , that would keep them on their toes.

    Another repulsive habit of parents of brides insisting that thee Bride groom must be in the city were the girls’ parents live!

    The girls might agree to it for the time being , would regret later when they find they remain unmarried for  long.

    Children have their lives to led, be it a Boy or Girl.

    Another obnoxious habit is that some parents are reluctant to get their daughters married because they will lose their daughter’s salary!

    This is a fact and I have , in two instances told the parents of the Girls if they want only money they should not have begotten children!

    I may point out a curious fact.

    Please check Tamil matrimony marriage site, find out how many girls’ profile have been uploaded by the Girls themselves/their friends as against the profiles uploaded by Parents.

    You will find personal/friends uploads will be in the age group of over 27.

    The reason is parents keep on refusing Alliances on some spurious ground or another and at the age of 27 or 28 the girl starts taking her life into their hands.

    Avoid this and remember delaying the marriage of a Girl is a very serious Sin , Kanya Paapam that would affect your family for generations, not with standing Sumangali Prarthnais.

    Another issue is refusing sub sect marriages.

    Sub-sects are based on Geographical locations where the ancestors have lived, like Mythili Brahmins hailed from Mithila, Vadamas in Tamil Nadu were from the North of the River Cauvery.

    Some times Brahmin sub-sects are derived from the duties they were adept at. Adigas in Cooking, Vaathimaas in Purohitam,Vajpayees,Somayajees in performing a particular. yaga or yagnya

    Among Brahmins there is no division of States or Languages either.

    We follow the Vedas, period.No differences.

    Let me narrate an incident when I visited Sringeri  and had performed Biksha Vandana for His Holiness Sri Bharathi Theertha Swamigal of The Sringeri Mutt.

    As me and my wife neared the Acharya, the man who normally stands by his side asked me,

    ‘neevu kannadadhvara, Are you from Karnataka?’

    I replied,

    ‘I am  Brahmin’

    The Acharya heard this and asked  me to explain .

    I said,

    ‘ I am a Brahmin by birth, not by Knowledge, but still a Brahmin for my ancestors have been good Brahmins .

    My Mother tongue is Tamil,

    As a Brahmin my father tongue is Sanskrit.

    Therefore, it does not matter for a Brahmin which State he belongs to because He is a Brahmin”

    The Acharya called the man and said,

    ‘Yajnayopaveeda aaki barubavarathra eethara kelu beda,

    Do not these questions of those who come here with Yagnyopaveeda”(Sacred Thread)

    That’s it.

    Do not look for same sects, State, Language.

    A Brahmin will do.

    I observe that people conduct reception before the wedding day.

    This is wrong.

    If some one of the pair dies after Reception before marriage, what is the status of either of them?

    The habit of clapping of hands after Mangalya Dharana, it is prohibited.

    The habit of shaking hands with the couple after Mangalya Dharana  before Aseervatha is a Taboo.

    In Hinduism . the ‘Handing Over’ Panigrahana is Sacred and the hands of the couple are not to be touched by others till Aseervatha.

    Some more thoughts might follow.

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  • Hindu Wedding Rituals Vratham Kankana Nandi Kasi Yatra Detail

    kankana Dharanam,Hindu Wedding ceremony.
    Kankan Dharana

    Please read my post on the components of the Hindu marriage.

    Link provided towards the end of the post.

    Kankana Dharanam.

    On the wedding day,after Vigneswara Puja, Vratham is performed.

    The wedding ceremonies start with the Vratham that is observed separately by the groom and the bride.

    The Vratha is a ceremony where a vow is taken to go through the marriage and is performed by  the Bridegroom

    The marriage ceremonies begin with the Vratham performed separately by the bride and the groom. For the bride, it means the tying of the KAPPU – the holy thread on her wrist which is meant to ward off all evil spirits. It symbolises a kind of the protective armour for the bride. For the groom, the various Gods – Indra, Soma, Chandra, Agni. From there on, the groom prepares himself for a new chapter in his life as a householder or Grihasta. The days of his bachelorhood or brahmacharya are now over and the acceptance of this is all what the Vratham is about.

    In this ceremony, a cotton thread (applied with Turmeric powder) is tied to the wrist of the Bride and groom, indicating the vow to get married and declaring that they would not be deterred from the wedding ceremony and it is removed a couple of days after the wedding.

    “the important ceremony called
    kankana \ For this purpose they obtain two pieces of
    saffron or turmeric, round which they tie a double thread.
    They place on a metal dish two handfuls of rice, and on
    this rice a cocoanut painted yellow, and on the cocoanut
    the two pieces of saffron. Prayers are offered to all the
    gods collectively, who are implored to come and place
    themselves on this kankana, and to remain there till the
    five days of the marriage ceremony have been accomplished.
    The bridegroom then takes one of the pieces of saffron and
    ties it on his wife’s left wrist, who in her turn ties the
    other piece on his right wrist. The rice and cocoanut on
    which the kankana has been lying are then given to the
    purohita.

    Then follows the procession of the tutelary deity. The
    mother of the bride, accompanied by the other women
    and the Brahmins who are present, go and fetch the copper
    vase which represents the ishta-devata. The women begin
    to sing and the musicians to play, and forming a procession
    they march to the end of the street, where, after choosing
    a clean spot, they pour out some of the water contained in
    the vase. They do puja to the deity while it rests on the
    ground, and then it is taken back with the same pomp to
    the place whence it came. Then follows the most important

    1 The ceremony is actually called kankana-dharana, that is, the tying
    or wearing of the kankana.

    Nandi.

    This is performed to propitiate the Ancestors nd the Nadi Devatas.

    After the completion of Ganesh Puja on the wedding day, several other Gods are worshipped. These Gods are known as Nandi Devatas.

    Who are Nandi Devatas?

    The Nandi Devatas are the holy Pitris, who live in the lokas of Bhuvash and Suvah. They are the builders of the subtle bodies, Sukshmadeha, around which physical atoms aggregate to produce the physical body. As the objects of marriage are the maintenance of the Grihastha Dharma and the begetting of progeny with spiritual, not carnal tendencies, the co-operation of the PitriDevatas is essential.

    To propitiate the Nandi Devatas, a leaf-laden branch of the pipal tree is set up. Five Sumangalis (married women) would then wash the installed branch with milk. The ritual is followed by gifting clothes to the bride and the groom. Generally, the bride is presented a saree while a traditional dhoti is gifted to the groom as part of the auspiciousness.

    Nandi Srardham, Part of Hindu Wedding ceremony.
    Nandi Srardham

     

    These PitriDevatas are not beings to be trifled with, and they are beings who generally avoid the physical plane of the Universe, the Bhurloka, and they should be sent away from the physical world as soon as the business for which they are invited is over. Nor are they to be invited frequently.

    In an ideal Nandi Srardha, 12 Brahmins are invited, Dhotis and Angavastras are ditributed, their feet washed amidst the chsning of the Srardha Mantras.

    Kasi Yatra.

    In Hinduism a Man has Four Stations in Life,

    Brahmacharya, the Ceibate,

    The Grihastha, The Married,

    The Vanaprastha, the detachment state, and

    The Sanyasin, The Renounced State.

    Boys aged 5 are anointed with Upanayana(read my post on this ceremony) and sent to a Guru for the Adhyayana or the repeated learning of the Vedas.

    When they reach the age of 13 they are married.

    Now the  marriageable age has changed.

    When the boy comes of age for Marriage,after the Vratham, Kankana Dharanam and Nandi, the Boy goes to Kasi(Benares, Varanasi ,the Holy City of The Hindus, to meditate on the Brahman, The Reality.(Symbolically)

    The bride’s father intervenes and requests the Bridegroom not to undertake the trip,become a Grihastha as Grihathaasrama is the fundamental Stage of Dharma or the Path of Righteousness, and offers his daughter in Marriage , promising that she will be his soul mate in performing the Vediac rituals that would guarantee spiritual enlightenment.

    This is Kasi Yatra.

    kasi Yatra, Hindu wedding ceremony.
    Kasi Yatra

    Now comes the muhurta, that is to say, the most essential
    ceremony of the marriage. To begin with, a sacrifice is
    offered to Vigneshwara. The bride and bridegroom are
    seated on the earthen dais, their faces towards the east,
    and the married women proceed, singing the while, with
    the young people’s toilette, which is of the most elegant
    and sumptuous description. When attired the bridegroom
    rises, performs the sam-kalpa, prays to the gods to pardon
    all the sins he has committed since he received the triple
    cord ; and, to be the more sure of this pardon, he recites
    a mantram, and gives fifteen fanams to a Brahmin as alms.
    He then dresses himself up as a pilgrim, and makes all
    preparations as if he were really going to take a long
    journey, announcing that he is going to start on a holy

    222 THE KAXKAXA CEREMONY

    pilgrimage to Kasi, that is Benares. He leaves the house
    accompanied by the married women singing in chorus, and
    by his parents and friends, and preceded by instruments of
    music. After passing the outskirts of the village he turns
    his steps to the east.

    But here his future father-in-law meets him, and asks
    him where he is going, and on learning the object of his
    journey, begs him to give it up. He tells him that he has
    a young virgin daughter, and that if he wishes it he will
    give her to him in wedlock. The pilgrim accepts the pro-
    posal with joy, and returns with his escort to the place
    whence he set out. On his return the women perform the
    ceremony of the aratti.

    Source:

    http://www.ebooksread.com/authors-eng/j-a-jean-antoine-dubois/hindu-manners-customs-and-ceremonies-obu/page-24-hindu-manners-customs-and-ceremonies-obu.shtml

    http://www.sanathanadharma.com/wedding.htm

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    http://ramanisblog.in/2012/07/17/an-introduction-to-samskarashindu-rites/

  • South Indian Hindu Wedding Rituals Detailed List

    Wedding is one of the important Samskaras in a Hindu’s Life, as ordained by the Smriti(Guidelines for Day to-day Living).

    Kolam For Marriage.
    Kolam or Rangoli for Hindu Wedding

    Forty Samskaras are listed(please read my posts filed under Hinduism)

    Pandhalkal Ceremony
    Pandhalkal, Hindu Wedding ceremony.

    The Wedding ceremonies are elaborate.

    Typical Marriage arrangements consist of these parts.

    1.Finding a Boy or a Girl.

    2.Matching of the Horoscopes.

    3.Visiting the Girl’s House by the Groom with his close relatives to know more of the Girl and the Family.

    4.Nischyathaatham of the exchange of MOU between the parents of the Groom and Bride( If Grandparents are alive they will perform this-(Paternal Grandparents). At this function only close relatives are invited;The Religious aspect is very minimal and this is more of a Social Occasion, when Date , Time and Venue of the Wedding is announced.

    5. Sumangali Prarthanai, when those women who died ,remaining Married, are propitiated.This is normally performed about a couple of days  before the Marriage.

    6.Samaaradhanai or Dadhyaaradhanai is performed normally after the Sumangali Prarathanai to the family Deity.

    7.Pandakkal Naduthal

    8.Inviting the Bridegroom is done a day before the Wedding.

    9.Wedding Ceremony.

    Read my Post on the procedures for the  Wedding ( A post on Sumangali Prarthanai has been shared already)

    On the evening prior to the wedding day, the bridegroom is  brought in a procession from a temple in a flower decorated car.

    An Archana is performed at the Temple.

    He is escorted by the bride’s parents, and welcomed at the marriage  Hall (mandap), which is the bride’s abode.

    Nadaswaram band leads the way along the streets, the flower decorated car jam-packed with children.

    This is  function is called JANA VASAM in South India and BARAAT in North India.

    Through such a parade, public approval is sought of the groom, chosen by the family..

    If the Boy or Girl has had any liaisons before the Wedding , the Public may inform the families.

    After reaching the marriage hall, there is a formal ceremony of betrothal.

    At the Marriage Hall

    • Full-grown plantain trees tied to both the gateposts – Eternal tree of evergreen plenty for endless generations!
    • Festoons overhead of mango leaves, and screw-pine petals that never fade!
    • Notes of the Nadaswaram, the South Indian Shehnai!
    • Kolam or Rangoli designs at the doorsteps – an artistic welcome!
    • At threshold of the hall, sprinklings of rosewater, offerings of flower, sandal batter, sugar candy!

    A ceremony called Pandhalkal Naduthal’ is performed some days before the Wedding, after Samaradhanai .

    Now onto the Wedding day.

    http://ramanisblog.in/2012/07/17/an-introduction-to-samskarashindu-rites/

  • Bride Wears Edible Dress — Made Entirely of Wedding Cake

    The expression ‘you look good enough to eat’ acquires a new meaning! I do not know how to categorize this news,under interesting or Cookery/Recipes!
    Story.
    We’ve already told you about the 10 wedding trends of 2010 that make us want to poke our eyes out with a tulle-wrapped toothpick. Now making the rounds on the interwebs is an 11th, and one so irreverent, artistic and, well, downright tasty, we applaud any bride who embraces it.

    The Cake Dress is truly the Cinderella of edible bridal gowns. Its creation has been widely attributed to Lukka Sigurdarottir, an Icelandic artist, which makes sense to us: After all, this is the culture that brought us Björk.
    http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/01/20/bride-wears-edible-wedding-dress-made-of-cake/?icid=webmail_plugin_lemondrop_en_us