Ramanisblog

Category: Interesting and funny

  • Japanese man takes video game character as wife.

    Has he taken inflatable doll with him?Amazing how kinky can one get!

    Chris Meyers
    TOKYO
    Sun Dec 20, 2009 5:44pm EST
    TOKYO (Reuters) – A Japanese man has married a character in a popular video game, taking her — and his handheld game console — on an overseas honeymoon.

    The man, who prefers to use his online moniker SAL9000, met character Nene Anegasaki while playing dating simulation game “Love Plus.”

    They got married a few weeks ago, broadcasting their ceremony live on Japan’s version of video-sharing website Youtube.

    SAL9000, who did not want to reveal his real name for fear of being misunderstood, admits to be an “otaku,” a breed of Japanese youth obsessed with video games, computers and fantasy worlds.

    “In the Japanese otaku or nerd culture, there’s a tradition of calling characters my wife, and I sort of thought of Nene as my wife. Since I was calling her that, I thought we’d just have to get married then,” he told Reuters Television.

    “If more people were to find ways of expressing themselves like this, I think it would make society a bit more interesting.”

    The newlyweds, who went on a honeymoon to Guam, now go on dates around Tokyo, with SAL9000 taking pictures of Nene, installed in his Nintendo DS, in front of famous landmarks and then posting them on social networking sites.

    As the game “Love Plus” has voice recognition software, SAL9000 says it’s possible to have a sort of conversation with Nene or even play simple games such as rock, paper, scissors.

    He also has vowed to have and to hold, for better and for worse, even if another, updated version of the game is released.

    “I think I’ll probably continue playing Love Plus. I won’t cheat,” SAL9000 said.
    http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE5BJ1XX20091220?feedType=RSS&feedName=oddlyEnoughNews&rpc=69

  • Orangutan takes her own photos-Video.

    An orangutan who has learned how to take photographs with a simple camera now has around 70,000 fans on the social networking website Facebook.
    The camera dispenses a raisin every time Nonja or one of her fellow orangutans at Schonbrunn Zoo in Vienna takes a picture.
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8423067.stm

  • FIRE UNDERWATER?

    Yesterday I posted the video below on the underwater eruptions captured by researchers last May.

    If you haven’t seen the video (click on the image to view) – I recommend you do. You’ll be among the first human beings in history to see molten lava flowing across the deep-ocean seafloor.

    When those magma bubbles burst, it sure looks like fire burning, doesn’t it? Which seems crazy and impossible if the volcano is underwater. So during my interview with Joseph Resing – the project leader of this research – I asked him if that’s what we’re seeing: fire underwater.

    His response:

    Joseph Resing: I think that’s a good question and one of the arguments we had on board the ship was whether or not the hydrogen that’s created when molten rock and water interact – whether we’re seeing that hydrogen burn or explode. I think the evidence leans against it, but it’s still something I think about as being possible. I think mostly what you see must be the molten rock being exposed so you can see it. So as it expands you see the molten rock suddenly stare you in the face.

    Me: So that’s not necessarily fire that we’re seeing underwater.

    Joseph Resing: I don’t believe that’s fire, no.

    I think it’s cool that we aren’t 100% sure what’s happening there. If fire could burn underwater…that’s just mind blowing, right?
    http://news.discovery.com/earth/did-noaa-see-fire-underwater.html
    Video link in the story,follow the link.

  • Top 10 Signs You Drank Too Much (PICS)

    By popular demand, we bring you the latest installment of our Top 10 Signs You Drank Too Much series.

    Most of you have probably found yourself in similar situations as the following 10 drunks — and that doesn’t necessarily mean that you mistook yourself for a bicycle, but I think it’s safe to assume that we’ve all done the toilet hug at some point in life.

    Click here for part one, for part two, and for part three of the Top 10 Signs You Drank Too Much series.

    10. You’re Just Hangin’ Out

    9. Nice Catch

    8. You Moisturize Your Face With Toilet Water

    7. Restroom = Bedroom

    6. You’re Trying To Be A Bike

    5. You’re Wearing Tevas And A Fanny Pack

    4. What Time Is It?

    3. You Can’t Keep Your Dentures In

    2. Someone Jacked Your Shoelaces

    1. You Have Been Coned Off
    http://digg.com/d31D3AT

  • A Practical Guide To Sexting (For Men Over 30)

    Well, the media is ablaze with stories about a new teen phenomenon known as “sexting.” Apparently, kids today are using their cell phones to take sexy pictures of themselves and then sending them to friends–sometimes with sexy text messages. I have to confess, as someone who went to high school in the 90s, I was a little taken aback by today’s technologically advanced and sexually retarded teens. But as I read these sexting stories (over and over again) I kept thinking one thing: Why just sassy teens? Surely, grown-ups can get on this sexting bandwagon.

    So for the last month, I’ve been learning all I can about sexting from today’s youth in the hopes of applying what I call my “Sexting Technique”™ to every aspect of life. I couldn’t have done it without the help of my young and nubile Facebook friends who were a huge help. For example, did you know that you don’t need to type the word “breasts” or even “boobs” because you can substitute “(.)(.)” Isn’t that sexy? Sure it is, and the world of sexting is filled with fun and wonderful surprises just like that!

    But for those of you brave enough, sexting offers more than mere graphic, written and photographic titillation. And it doesn’t have to be limited to high school buddies or significant others, either. As I will show you, there is hardly an interaction in our daily lives that could not be made better with the addition of sexting.

    JOB INTERVIEWS
    In today’s economy, job applicants need every advantage they can get to secure a job. That means learning everything you can about your interviewer: his experiences with the company, his accomplishments and, of course, his cell phone number. An applicant serious about securing a job through my Sexting Technique™ will do whatever necessary–including going through the interviewer’s old discarded billing statements–to get this vital information. Only then can you have experiences such as these:

    INTERVIEWER
    So I see you’ve freelanced at Cracked.com for almost three years. Tell me, what part of that qualifies you to work here at Union Carbide?

    GLADSTONE
    Well, hmm… I wrote an article about Jessica Simpson being fat that got a lot of Diggs.

    INTERVIEWER
    Yeah, that’s not really what we’re looking for in an industrial chemist. I’m sorry, I just-

    Interviewer’s cell phone vibrates

    INTERVIEWER
    Excuse me, I’m expecting a call from the EPA. Hello? Oh, it’s not a phone call. It’s just a text. That’s odd.

    GLADSTONE
    What is?

    INTERVIEWER
    Oh nothing. Just a weird emoticon type thing from some unknown caller.

    GLADSTONE
    Is it breasts?

    INTERVIEWER
    Excuse me?

    GLADSTONE
    The text. Is it breasts? I bet it’s breasts, isn’t it?

    Interviewer looks at cell phone.

    INTERVIEWER
    Well, it’s an open paren, period, closed paren, and then the series of symbols is repeated again. Oh hey! I guess that does look like breasts. Neat… But how did you know that?

    GLADSTONE
    Perhaps, I could answer you best in this way….

    Gladstone pushes a few buttons on his cell phone. Interviewer’s cell phone vibrates.

    INTERVIEWER
    Why did you just forward me a picture of a dude in a shower? Wait. Is that you? And if so, you might want to consider waxing….

    GLADSTONE
    (coyly)
    I don’t know. Is it me? It could be….

    INTERVIEWER
    You realize I’m not gay, right? And even if I were, what you’re doing is wildly inappropriate.

    GLADSTONE
    Sir, I assure you. I’m not gay either. But that’s how serious I am about working here at Union Carbide.

    INTERVIEWER
    So serious that you’d pretend to be gay to straight man in a way that is unacceptable regardless of sexual orientation?

    GLADSTONE
    That’s one way to say it. Here’s another.

    Gladstone sexts furiously on his cell. Interviewer’s phone vibrates again.

    INTERVIEWER
    (reading)
    U R Hawt? What does that even mean?

    GLADSTONE
    It’s text-speak or sext-speak. All the kids are doing it, old timer! So do I get the job?

    INTERVIEWER
    Mr. Gladstone, I want you to listen closely. I’m going to do two things: First I’m going to drop my phone into the vat of hydrochloric acid we keep in Sector C. And then, I’m going to call security.

    GLADSTONE
    Security? I would think my job orientation would start with Human Resources?

    INTERVIEWER
    I didn’t offer you the job.

    GLADSTONE
    OK. Not yet. But call me. I know you have the number. . .

    Gladstone texts. Interviewer’s phone buzzes.

    INTERVIEWER
    (reading text)
    A semi colon followed by a closed parenthetical? You’re standing right there. Why didn’t you just wink at me for real?!

    GLADSTONE
    Would you like me to wink at you, sir? Is that what you’re saying? Sssh. Don’t answer. I’ll go. I’ll wait for your offer… by text message.

    ORDERING AT McDONALD’S
    Ever notice how hard it is to get good service at a McDonald’s drive-thru? To the minimum wage employee inside, you’re just another faceless customer, soliciting the fast food conglomerate’s pre-molded culinary wares. A cold impersonal experience. But it doesn’t have to be. After all, a drive-thru menu is actually a lot like a cell phone! I mean, it has a camera, a microphone for talking and a speaker for listening. And when Apple unrolls its Big Mac application in 2010, there will hardly be any difference between the devices at all. So why not apply my Sexting Technique™ to your advantage?

    EMPLOYEE
    Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?

    GLADSTONE
    Can you see me?

    EMPLOYEE
    What?

    GLADSTONE
    Can you see me?

    EMPLOYEE
    Yes?

    GLADSTONE
    Good then let me open my car door and ask you a question: What kind of pants am I wearing?

    EMPLOYEE
    What kind of pants? I don’t- oh, dear God! You’re not wearing pants.

    GLADSTONE
    That’s right, baby. Why don’t you take off that headset and come supersize me?

    EMPLOYEE
    Please sir, I’ll be forced to get my manager.

    GLADSTONE
    Oh, no can do, baby. I want you all to myself… unless–how sexist of me–is your manager… a lady?

    EMPLOYEE
    Please just order something, sir. You must see something you want.

    GLADSTONE
    Oh, I do. What’s your cell phone number?

    EMPLOYEE
    Look, if I just give you a Big Mac, will you please go away?

    GLADSTONE
    I think you’ve already given me a Big Mac, if you know what I mean.

    EMPLOYEE
    Ugh. Gross.

    GLADSTONE
    I mean my penis.

    EMPLOYEE
    I know what you mean. Please, just drive up, take your free food and get out of here.

    AT CONFESSION
    If you’re anything like me, you’re surely going to Hell. Yes, fire and brimstone await you for a lifetime of sins all of which have only increased exponentially in this technological age. That’s why the need for Catholicism and its “get out of eternal damnation free” cards are more important than ever. But as about half the congregants in those confessionals are likely owning up to sins they committed online–from illegal downloads, to eBay scams, to harassing old flames on Facebook even after being defriended–it occurred to me that the confessional could use a 21st century update. That’s right, you’re way ahead of me: sexting!

    GLADSTONE
    Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It’s been forever since my last confession.

    PRIEST
    Why is that my son?

    GLADSTONE
    I’m not a Catholic.

    PRIEST
    I see. Well, would you like a personal relationship with Jesus?

    GLADSTONE
    I would, but I don’t have his cell.

    Priest’s cell vibrates.

    PRIEST
    I’m sorry, son. I forgot to shut off my phone

    GLADSTONE
    No, that’s OK, Father. Please. Answer it.

    PRIEST
    No, now is not the time.

    GLADSTONE
    It’s from me. I’m shy. Please read it.

    PRIEST
    Oh very well. (reading) “I’ve been a naughty boy?”

    GLADSTONE
    Very.

    PRIEST
    How, my son?

    Priest’s cell vibrates.

    PRIEST
    Again with the text? Very well. (looks at cell) Why did you just send me a picture of a man in a shower? Wait. Is that you? And if so, you might want to consider waxing….

    GLADSTONE
    I think I’m addicted to sexting, Father. Ya see, sexting is…

    PRIEST
    I know what sexting is, my son. And no good can come from it.

    GLADSTONE
    Well, I did just get a free Big Mac on the way over here so…

    PRIEST
    What do you say in your sexts?

    GLADSTONE
    Well sometimes, I do sexts like this:

    Priest’s phone buzzes

    PRIEST
    The boobs graphic? That’s not really a sext. That’s… well that’s just a retarded emoticon. Are you sure you really know what you’re doing?

    GLADSTONE
    Hey, how do you know so much about sexting? Aren’t you supposed to be a priest?

    PRIEST
    Um, they had a course… at seminary.

    GLADSTONE
    You sext, don’t you!

    PRIEST
    I do not. Stop this nonsense or-

    GLADSTONE
    Or what? You’ll take me to the rectory?

    PRIEST
    That’s kind of a long way to go for a joke, don’t you think?

    GLADSTONE
    Yeah, I know. I’m sorry, Father. I’m kind of lost here.

    PRIEST
    How so?

    GLADSTONE
    This whole sext column seemed like a good idea, at first, and now well, I don’t really have an ending.

    PRIEST
    Yeah, most Internet columns are like that. Many skits too.

    GLADSTONE
    Yeah.

    PRIEST
    Wanna make a joke about me being a pedophile?

    GLADSTONE
    Nah. Too easy. Besides, you seem like a nice enough priest. I mean, for a fictional character.

    PRIEST
    Thanks. I try.

    GLADSTONE
    I should probably just do some penance or something.

    PRIEST
    For the sexting?

    GLADSTONE
    No. For starting a column I couldn’t finish.

    PRIEST
    OK, tell you what. For penance, why don’t you send me the other half of that shower pic and we’ll call it a day?

    GLADSTONE
    I thought we agreed that joke’s too easy.

    PRIEST
    It is, but you’re in a bind, and being compassionate is part of my job.

    GLADSTONE
    Gee thanks, Father!

    PRIEST
    Besides, you didn’t make the joke. I did.

    GLADSTONE
    Well, yeah, sorta, but…

    PRIEST
    Don’t sweat it, Gladstone. It’s just the Internet.
    http://digg.com/d31C5bp